Aussie Jokes

anno_miss · Post time 21-1-2015 11:24 PM

Edited by anno_miss at 21-1-2015 11:32 PM

A fren of mine from Australia shared short jokes about life and marriage .. and I'm sharing with uoolsss..

enjoyy!!

~Why do men fart more than women? 'Cos women never shut their mouth for long enough to let the gas build up!

~Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

~If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

~A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"

~Hannah wants an all over suntan but is not quite sure how to ho about it so she says to Bruce; you reckon I should go sunbathing in the nuddy in the backyard? Yeah, no worries, says Bruce, go for it. But what if the neighbours see me naked, what will they think? Bruce; that I married you for your money.....

~What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About twenty to thirty kilos!

~What does WIFE stand for? Washing, Ironing, F#@%ng, Etc.

~Why do women fake orgasms ? - Because they think men care.

~Blonde to her friend; I have to be really careful not to get pregnant. Her friend; but didn't your husband get a vasectomy done recently? Yes, exactly, that's why...
~Why is the space between a woman's breasts and hips called a waist? - Because you could fit another pair of tits in there..