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Are we meant to be together?
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I cannot speak neither chinese nor malay well. I would use english..i am sorry becoz my brain will burst if i can't find a place to release my emotions, my problem..
I am a chinese, i am in love with a guy from Pakistan. We are both 23 this year and studying in the same university. Yes i knew his family background very much, what his family is doing and so on. We plan to marry by 2014 and we are very serious about this as i had met his parents to discuss about the marriage..
Apparently, i love him very much and we had gone through too many circumstances which i never thought it would be happened on myself.
After that incident, we became closer to each other, we are close indeed before that, but i personally think that i had become more mature in handling things no matter is about my family or about us.
Yes, the incident was becoz of m family, i been through a very terrible weeks which almost taken my life away.
But now, everything back to normal, we love each other as we do.
Unfortunately, we are facing problem again and again.Recently, we been arguing and fighting on a same issue, which regarding to my family.
My family basically had accepted him and us. But before this, they had done too much on us and especially on him, it hurts him alot which i felt really really bad and sad.
He was still dissapointed and sometimes we fought about this issue..
i did talked to my parents and asked them, yes they are kind of accepted him now, and i planned to make them meet as i failed to do so before..
He was deeply hurt becoz of my family. We fought again. I am helpless, i have no idea at all of what to do, other than to solve the family problem to make things better. Sometimes i thought, is it better for me to leave him as i have given him so much pain indirectly from my family ?sometimes his words hurt me...but i know it is incomparable to the pain that me and my family had given him.. but i love him.....very very much.....i never want to leave him....at the same time i want him to be happy....
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No worries, everything it will be ok.why not u thrash out everthing together. Make him confront ur family and find solution. Convince him directly, and im sure he will be alright. |
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is he Muslim?
why did your family hurt him?
I think religion must be the issue to you & your family...
If he is a muslim, are you ready to become part of the community?
I don't know if you two
are meant to be together.
You must know that a muslim boy cannot wed a nonmuslim girl, unless she becomes a muslim.
if you two really love each other, love will find its way eventually  |
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kinki posted on 30-12-2012 09:40 AM 
is he Muslim?
why did your family hurt him?
I think religion must be the issue to you & your famil ...
yes he is muslim.
this is the thing that my family cannot accept at first, but now, they somehow agreed.
The problem of him, is becoz of the words used by my parents towards him, a little bit harsh, as he is a very sensitive guy...
so i think he couldn't take it...he wants thing to be crystal clear as i wanted as well...i tried to make them meet..but my parents was really busy becoz of business..so i thought maybe he can go back with me to my home town to meet my parents....
i can only pray instead of being too sad here....i was seriously hurt when he said to me : u can find someone better....
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hurm...maybe he think about the religion issues.
anyway, get ur space for a while. brace ur life. |
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kinki posted on 30-12-2012 11:20 AM
harsh words will ALWAYS hurt somebody's else feelings. You can't really blame him for behaving ...
yes u are indeed right...i never blame him...i know how much he gone through...
ya true, should be thinking logically as well as act logically...hopefully everything would be alright...
communication and toleration are absolutely important ..
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Give him some space to cool him down..... |
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Ingatkan pompuan melayu jek, terjebak cinta pakistan.. bangla. Chine pon sangkut jugak.. LOL  |
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Wakiwaki posted on 1-1-2013 09:14 PM
Ingatkan pompuan melayu jek, terjebak cinta pakistan.. bangla. Chine pon sangkut jugak.. LOL
He is not like typical pakistani that u imagined, anyway, love is beyond religions races and nationalities.
Some says im "mabuk cinta", some says they will never ever fall in love with ppl from different country especially from muslim country, but personally i think, love cannot be judged based on what races what nationalities what religions we belonged, love is about our true heart and understanding of each other, as well as the trust between 2 persons.
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I forgot to add one thing, you may not know somebody's true colours until you get into a fight or living under the same roof with him.
and don't be surprised if he's not as good as you think |
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kinki posted on 2-1-2013 11:54 AM
I forgot to add one thing, you may not know somebody's true colours until you get into a fight or li ...
hi kinki,
ya u are right, i thought of all these as well, but we have decided we will reside in malaysia not pakistan.
ya, imperfection is nothing as no one is perfect. I been seeing him and discovering him since last year, overall he is very good, not really good in sweet words LOL. Anyway, i really appreciate ur advices and words, u are wise becoz what i have faced were all kinds of harsh words which i really got depressed too much sometimes ago.
Indeed communication and understanding are the two most crucial elements.
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What Kinki said is exactly what I would say to you...
The best thing is get your bf to meet up with your parents and have a deep conversation. If your bf still bring up the subject of how hurt he is with your parents harsh word, there's not much that you can do. They say time may heal but if your persuasion or assurance or that he still can't let go those feeling, well..that is his problem not you.. He needs to learn how to forgive and forget. He should know, he is not the only one in the world, who had to go through with family not approving of the relationship due to religion..etc.. trust me I know... Last edited by MissSchiffer on 2-1-2013 02:58 PM
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@MissSchiffer is right
if your parents want to make up and he refuses to, I guess there's nothing much you can do about it. Mistakes are part of human nature, nobody is exempted not even him or your parents.....I pray for the best for you both. |
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MissSchiffer posted on 2-1-2013 02:55 PM
What Kinki said is exactly what I would say to you...
The best thing is get your bf to meet up wi ...
Hi,
Exactly, thats what i thought as well, he have to learn...becoz i need to go through and learn how to give up something as well....
The main thing now is i want them to meet up and have a deep talk...to understand each other more...
Thank you so much for giving me advices and encouragement, i do appreciate alot . : )
Hopefully everything will be alright. : )
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kinki posted on 2-1-2013 03:38 PM
@MissSchiffer is right
if your parents want to make up and he refuses to, I guess there's nothin ...
True, am actually trying to make a small meeting for them on CNY, hopefully he and my parents are willing to ....
i really hopr things can be solved...mistakes are there, but only people can solve the problem with God's will...so i will keep praying....i know one day or the other there will be a positive result. : ) InshaALLAH : )
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kinki posted on 2-1-2013 03:38 PM
@MissSchiffer is right
if your parents want to make up and he refuses to, I guess there's nothin ...
Yes indeed.
I pray for the both of them too...
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JaneLowJane posted on 2-1-2013 03:42 PM
Hi,
Exactly, thats what i thought as well, he have to learn...becoz i need to go through and lear ...
You're welcome and always happy to giving you any advise...
If he keep on bringing all that stuff up, don't argue with him, just let him say whatever he wants to say because this kind of people will never listen to whatever you have to say and he always think that he's right or the "victim" (sorry for saying so). In the meantime, don't stress yourself too much... and I do hope everything will goes well after the meeting....InsyaAllah..
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Category: Cinta & Perhubungan
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Post time 30-12-2012 01:17 AM
变色卡
Author
