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Why Can’t I Love Someone?
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Why do some people never fall in love?
I usually get questions from readers asking me why can't they love someone even if he loves them back.Just like any other strange behavior, understanding the root cause behind it from a psychological perspective can make it appear pretty logical.
In this article i will tell you some facts about the psychology of falling in love what would help you understand why do you rarely fall in love.
The Reasons You Rarely Fall In Love- You Lack external dependency: External Dependency is the act of being dependent on other factors or objects in order to feel happy or to escape from your bad moods. just like some people escape to drugs in order to feel happy others escape to love in order to escape bad moods. If you don't fall in love often then this might mean that you don't escape to relationships whenever things go wrong and that you only fall in love with someone when you really want him
- You are visual: According to the psychology of love people fall in love with someone when he matches certain criteria present in their brain called the subconscious criteria. If you were a visual person or someone who makes judgments based on looks ( seevisual representation system) then most probably you won't fall in love with someone unless he/she is good looking. Of course there might be lots of good looking people around but you won't fall in love with them before they meet your other criteria.
- Your unconscious criteria is very tight: People Fall in love without understanding why but in fact that only happens when someone matches their unconscious criteria . If your criteria was very tight or if you had unrealistic expectations about your future partner then you might find it hard to find someone who appeals to you
- The power of solitude: Some people can't stay alone and always need to be with someone else. On the contrary people who have the power of solitude may even enjoy staying alone and that’s why some of them rarely fall in love
Final Words about not falling in loveAny behavior that appears strange can be easily interpreted once you get enough self understanding.
There was a woman who used to fall in love only with weak men without knowing why but when her past was examined it was found that she grew up in a house where her mother was the dominant figure and that's why she grew up believing that gaining control over her husband is the only way to have a healthy family.
Credit to: http://www.2knowmyself.com/relationship_breakups/Why_cant_i_love_someone
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Edited by sue_0684 at 5-3-2015 09:41 AM
my bff said ..becoz im overprotective to myself and my heart.
ada beza tak antara overprotective dgn jual mahal? ... @Innrukia
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nak compare caner kalo 1 word dr tuan punya diri & another word dr org luar
perception org berbeza deknon oiii
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tp memang btol pon kak..hehe..
kalo jual mahal tu tak la.org tegur,nak berkawan..sy berckp jer.
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jual mahal just a word di mana org yg pendek akal guna bila takleh nk justify tindakan org len...
so, as long as u rasa tindakan u betul...go for it....
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The 2nd and 3rd reasons were my reasons for not being able to love him. |
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yeap.
jual mahal..itu pandangan orang yang x confident.
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sbb dah biasa berdua....nak kuar dari kebiasaan tu yg susah...it takes time....
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patutla salah satu tips org bg utk tred tt meroyan psl bf..dia suruh cari laki lain
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yup...thats another way to divert your attention.....
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sbb jatuh cinta pada lelaki yg salah... |
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Almost each time a woman asks me to help with her relationship i discover that she chased the man who seemed to be good for her only to find him a distant, abusive and unreliable man.
Not only does the woman get hurt by that man but she also finds herself unable to give up on him or to move on. (see How to get over anyone)
In the same time such a woman usually finds herself unable to accept being with that nice guy who is chasing her all the time.
Why do women like bad boys? and why do they prefer a man who abuses them over a man who seems to be nice?
Here is the quick explanation:
- They want what they can't get: Nothing turns a woman off more than a needy partner. After all if a guy kept running after a woman then she will assume that he is desperate and because women are biologically wired to get attracted to the strong man that needy type turns them off completely (see Why women like cocky men)
- They want a challenge: Most women want a challenge that can help them get a self esteem boost. Noting can make a woman feel better about herself than taming that wild guy who isn't emotionally available. In other words, women go for these men hoping to change them to the better but they usually find themselves stuck (see What turns women on)
- Biological wiring: Women were to designed to look for confident, charismatic, dominant and risk taking men. Because the nice guy usually doesn't advertise any of these traits he usually ends up being a good friend rather than a desired sexual partner
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nak tanya tt, tak pernah in love ka serius
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aku pun jenis tak mudah jatuh cinta. mudah suka tapi tak mudah mencintai. that's why aku rela berkawan saja sebab takut hati cepat berubah n aku tak nak kena maki n dipersalahkan bila aku nak blah dari that guy.. cinta n suka are different things. but ramai orang tergesa2 nak terus berpasangan bila sukakan orang. maybe they used to be with someone, so bila single they can't stand it & rasa tak lengkap n tak tahan rasa sunyi. but that's not me.
bila aku sukakan someone aku akan make sure ni rasa cinta ke atau sekadar suka ? kalau suka saja, so better aku avoid dari terus couple dengan tergesa2. bukan cara aku berkenan terus couple. well. everyone have their own way n perception |
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aku suka some of thread2 tt. jenis topik yang mengajak orang untuk discuss n buka minda.  |
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i guess, because love is simply a mere pristine provision by Allah. |
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Dah lama single, just cari calon nak kawen jer tapi x jumpa lak, maybe belum jumpa jodoh... Suka kt someone dah biasa, tapi bila fikir ke arah lebih serius (kahwin) rasa tidak sesuai lak kdg2, bila dh jumpa sesuai rasa diri belum bersedia lak... Menjawab soalan x nie? |
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apa kaitan aku pernah in love dgn thread ni
aku terforgot nk letak disclaimer kat situ:
Thread ni dibuka utk discuss kenapa kita sukar utk jatuh cinta walaupun org tersebut cintakan kita...
tiada kena mengena dgn diri aku si pembuka thread.. ramai pompuan/lelaki yg claim "aku mmg susah jatuh cinta"..
so skrg thread ni menjawap persoalan "susah jatuh cinta". Setiap tindakan or perlakuan manusia ada sebabnya.
Mengikut kajian psikologi, cinta sebenarnya dimanipulasi dr keadaan sekeliling & manusia yg dekat dgn kita....
Segala ciri2 telah diset dlm subconscious mind (minda bawah sedar) sepanjang tempoh 'tumbesaran kita'
eh nnt aku sambung story...nk selesaikan sikit urusan....
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Category: Cinta & Perhubungan
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Post time 5-3-2015 09:26 AM
变色卡
Author
