Intermarriages - Let's Discuss

Penulis

Salam Aidilfitri Semua!

Dalam bertahun kami duduk overseas ni, kami lihat dah banyak intermarriages between Malaysian and non-Malaysians here. Alhamdulillah, jodoh masing-masing - semuga bahagia ke anak cucu.

Tapi dalam banyak-banyak intermarriages ni, saya lihat 99% adalah wanita Malaysia kahwin dengan lelaki Mat Salleh. So far being here, I've only seen one couple yang suaminya adalah melayu dan isterinya caucasian. But such a couple is very very rare.

Why is this so?

I heard that white men are better in courtship than malay men, thus one-sided ratio. Lelaki melayu ni tak pandai nak "mengayat" wanita mat salleh.

Malay women are also "lebih terpesona" apabila kena ngorat dengan white men, perhaps because they came from a "higher standard",  compared to malay men?

Or is it that malay men still prefer a malay wife anytime instead of a caucasian wife?

Nak kata white women does not prefer malay men, I have seen many white women that have black men as their husbands, so intermarriage for them is not a problem if we look at it from the woman's perspective.

Let's discuss.



[ Last edited by  Sasha at 28-3-2008 11:02 AM ]

ninik99

penulis sendiri macamana? kawin ngan malay ker non malay?

kat liverpool ada pakcik2 malay kawin ngan omputih kan.. bahagia jer tengok.

i tak leh komen le.. kawin ngan melayu totok jugak!   tapi i sejak dulu memang tak pernah terfikir nak kawin ngan bangsa lain sebab takut tak mampu nak bimbing untuk jadi muslim sejati.

DARSITA

Originally posted by Penulis at 10/18/07 01:08
Salam Aidilfitri Semua!

Dalam bertahun kami duduk overseas ni, kami lihat dah banyak intermarriages between Malaysian and non-Malaysians here. Alhamdulillah, jodoh masing-masing - semuga bahag ...

saya pun pelik bila tengok ..

Ramai perempuan cina ramai kawin dgn mat salleh jika dibandingkan dgn lelaki cina.


Perempuan hitam (african) tak ramai kawin dgn orang putih ..tetapi lelaki hitam banyak ada berwifekan mat salleh.

Perempuan Korea ramai kawin dgn mat salleh & orang hitam -- tetapi lelaki Korea tak ada kawin dgn orang hitam.

Ada kah lelaki bangsa bangsa ini tidak pandai ''mengayat juga"?

Robab

huhuhu...sori to say but im not really interested to kawin ngan mat saleh..melayu gak jadi pojaan..tak hensem pon taper..bukan apa..tak berani nak bimbing orang sedangkan diri sendiri pon terumbang-ambing lagi..hihih...tapi tatau aa kalau jodoh..kalau bleh dipilih tanak aaa...

my 2cents...duuuuuu

penmerah

abang penulis (sowi yek panggil abang lak)

somi wa ckp.... (masa dedulu sebelum kitorg kawin la)
dia takde hati berkenan nak kawen ngan omputih sbb dia kata  pompuan omputih takde dara
yelah... agaknya dia tgk kengkawan pompuan omputih dia tuh sume ilang dara bila umur 14 tahun
lom kawen dah dok serumah

isskkkk
pentingkan dara plak la somi wa ni

itulah alasan jujur (jujur ker) somi wa
sbb kawan omputih dia dulu ada berkenan kat dia tapi somi wa tak suka dpt second hand katanya hehehe

tapi ni soklan buduh dari wa la yek
harap jgn sesapa terasa hati
penah tak jumpa white woman yg still virgin berumur 25+++?
dulu britney spears pon kata nak jaga dara dia sebelum kawen.. last2 hampeh jer

Eddlisa_uyuk

Originally posted by Penulis at 18-10-2007 05:08 PM
Salam Aidilfitri Semua!

Dalam bertahun kami duduk overseas ni, kami lihat dah banyak intermarriages between Malaysian and non-Malaysians here. Alhamdulillah, jodoh masing-masing - semuga bahag ...

saya pun perasan gak ttg tuh, nak kata all jodoh tp kebykkannyer mmg cam tuh.....
malay men kena betul2 ada somethings kot baru mrk akan jadi pilihan agaknya.......

redsinner

dulu penah jawab soklan ni kat LC/LP/LF.

to me, lelaki2 bangsa lain diajar utk hormat pompuan esp lelaki Barat, manakala di lelaki2 di Asia telah dididik yg pompuan ni sekadar buat keje umah. everything to tend to... so takde masa nak memanjakan ladies derang sbb dah dianggap pompuan mmg keje dia kat dapur je. sbb tu ada term surirumah/housewife. di Asia mmg tugas wanita utk puaskan lelaki.
lelaki Barat suke pompuan Asia sbb kita lebih utamakan family and kita tau jaga diri sendiri, selalunye boleh dipercayai berbanding dgn kaum derang sendirik. yelah, pegi clubbing sume, mabuk2 pastu tertido dgn best fren bf sendirik. byk kes2 cenggitu.
tgk cara didikan juga. kalo dah lelaki melayu tu diajo jadi gentlemen dari kecik, mmg takde masalah utk pompuan melayu suke lelaki melayu.

hmm.... i hope my answer is valid. hihih

Penulis

Originally posted by redsinner at 19-10-2007 04:54 PM
dulu penah jawab soklan ni kat LC/LP/LF.

to me, lelaki2 bangsa lain diajar utk hormat pompuan esp lelaki Barat, manakala di lelaki2 di Asia telah dididik yg pompuan ni sekadar buat keje umah.  ...

Hmmm... mungkin u refer to malay men masa zaman dulu2 kot. I remember my wife's grandfather, dia larang anak perempuan dia bekerja sebab bagi dia anak-anak perempuan semua tugas di rumah menjaga rumah, menguruskan suami dan anak-anak.

But come to think of it, di Amerika masa zaman after World War, wives pun memang tugas diaorang di dapur kan. Back in the 60s, married women are mostly housewives in the US. I think as we approach the 80s 90s and 21st century ni baru women are being more modern.

But to me, I don't feel that malay men now is like malay men thirty-forty years ago. To be honest, I pun lebih banyak ke dapur berbanding my wife because she is a career woman. I do the laundry, she irons the clothes. I do vacuum, lawn care, house repairs etc. I sometimes wash the dishes after dinner. So malay men tak de lah kebelakangan sangat as compared to white men. That's my opinion lah because I'm like that. I tak sure about other malay men.

Penulis

From what I gather based on the posts so far - this is what I think:

I believe Asian women have more "appeal" to men in general, be it Asian men or white western men. That is why they are so in-demand.

I guess one part of what redsinner kata tu pun ada betulnya. Malay men mencari calon isteri dan calon ibu untuk anak-anak mereka, and they don't see these attributes that they want or like in most white women.

But her opinion saying that malay men does not appreciate women more white men - I tend to disagree.

I think malay (or Asian) men are good lovers too kalau dibandingkan dengan white or black men. Maybe the reason why malay men tak kahwin dengan white women often is because they are not interested to do so. Men usually make the first move, so if Asian men are not interested nak pikat a white woman, then nothing will happen.

I think white women does not discriminate colour when it comes to choosing their partners or husbands. This is true as many white women marry black men. Black men on the other hand loves to get their hands on white women.

DARSITA

Most asian men simply do not care about this issue. Asian women can date who ever they please.

redsinner

sorry to say, ur kind of malayman is scarce. mmg pompuan melayu nak lelaki yg sanjung pompuan.
mmg nasib buruk i kot tak jumpe ramai lelaki melayu mcm u kot... sbb most men i met were the types i wrote.
hmm....tapi sume berbalik kat preferences + hati sendirik.
susah gak nak buat arithmetic equation utk bende2 mcm ni sbb ada faktor2 lain yg perlu diconsider gak. scientifically etc etc

Penulis

Originally posted by DARSITA at 19-10-2007 11:12 PM
Most asian men simply do not care about this issue. Asian women can date who ever they please.

Yes, you got a point there.

Penulis

Originally posted by redsinner at 19-10-2007 11:18 PM
sorry to say, ur kind of malayman is scarce. mmg pompuan melayu nak lelaki yg sanjung pompuan.
mmg nasib buruk i kot tak jumpe ramai lelaki melayu mcm u kot... sbb most men i met were the types  ...

Funny thing is that I heard (in another forum) that those kind of malay men are mostly already married!

I guess to love and understand a woman, you will need experience. And most malay men get this experience after marriage. The learning curve is unfortunately is not the same when it comes to different cultures.

penmerah

stuju sgt2

Penulis

Just talked to one of my malay lady friend here (she's drop dead gorgeous) who married a white man.

Her answer:

"White men are better looking than malay men"

Oh my God, that gotta hurt! Straight to the chest with that one....

Oh well.... pretty girls loves handsome boys. Looks like we local boys can't compete in that category.

BingkaUbi

Originally posted by Penulis at 22-10-2007 07:09 PM
Just talked to one of my malay lady friend here (she's drop dead gorgeous) who married a white man.

Her answer:

"White men are better looking than malay men"

Oh my God, that gotta hurt!  ...

Dont surprise.....u got the answer on the question you put on.......thats the most common reason why malay women nak sangat kawin dgn white men......selain dr jodoh ? .:re:

_mzzm_

utk pengetahuan ..

LIM GOH TONG :kant:  PAGI TADI WAKTU MALAYSIA .. :cry:

Penulis

Originally posted by BingkaUbi at 23-10-2007 06:56 PM



Dont surprise.....u got the answer on the question you put on.......thats the most common reason why malay women nak sangat kawin dgn white men......selain dr jodoh ? .:re:

Iya lah kan... maybe dapat hubby handsome and mat salleh tu kira macam martabat tinggi lah kan... and no doubt their children will be amazingly beautiful too....

Berkenaan dengan jodoh... I sincerely believe that jodoh yang Tuhan tulis adalah datang dari usaha kita sendiri sebenarnya. Tuhan tak kan tulis jodoh (ataupun rezeki, kesihatan, ajal) seseorang itu simply like that (as He wishes), unless itu adalah ujianNya. Setiap yang berlaku ada puncanya (cause and effect). Things won't happen just because we sit around waiting it to happen. Things happen because kita usaha untuk make it happen - that goes the same with Jodoh.

BingkaUbi

Originally posted by Penulis at 23-10-2007 07:06 PM



Iya lah kan... maybe dapat hubby handsome and mat salleh tu kira macam martabat tinggi lah kan... and no doubt their children will be amazingly beautiful too....

Berkenaan dengan jodoh.. ...

talk bout jodoh & Tuhan......if handsome mat saleh were truly converting for Allah & serious in his studies of the religion.......it's call jodoh & rezeki...if handsome mat saleh converts to muslim to get married....it's call jodoh. Well, we know man by nature tends to be dominant in his family and woman by nature tends to be compromising....this is a fact which cannot be denied........and children should definitely brought up to understand about religion, they should be brought up in the religion of their parents.....pandai2 la didik hubby handsome tu as a muslim. :re:

enot66

Why orang puteh? Why not a Malay?

marriage

People often ask me, why did you marry outside your race?

Well, where should I start? to malaysians I often said, 'dah jodoh' and to the English population, 'love is blind'.

It is very difficult to pinpoint the very reason. It is often said and also heard that Malay girls want to marry orang puteh because:-

1.financial and economic benefits
2.Can go abroad
3.to feel special
4.Miang
5.pasal kelapa dah kena tebuk tupai, dah tak laku

and other things which I can't even be bothered to mention.

For me, before I met my husband, I had a few Malay boyfriends and bless my mom, she did try to fix me with a Malay guy as well. I always found it difficult to express myself when I had Malay boyfriends. We argued and argued  about things which I found very unfair.

For example:-

1.I have loved reading from a very young age. I am not a very talkative kind of person and always find solace from books. Well, when I spent time with my Malay boyfriends, the only thing they were interested in talking about, were their bikes, what so and so just bought and on and on. God, they bored me to death. Some of them had never even touched a book apart from school books, as long as I knew them. For them, reading books was such a waste of time.

2.I love horse riding, which, for them was such an insane thing to do. For them, why a Malay girl wanted to ride a horse, for what? They couldn't understand when I told them that I got the same pleasure riding horses, as when they were riding the bikes. Nope, still didn't make sense to them.

3.I love to do sports and outdoor activities. I used to swim in the sea after riding horses and just love to be out and about. These to them were definitely a no, no thing.

4.I love travelling. Went to Islands and other places in Malaysia.


5.I hate to become their slave, if we were to marry. I was suppose to look after their needs at every waking minute. How about my own needs as a human being I often asked them? The answer, not much, part from giggles.

Basically, if I was to marry one of my Malay boyfriends, I would have to give up lots of the things which I love doing in my life. Whilst, at the same time, they themselves didn't have to give up any thing, but instead gaining more