Emotional Maturity

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by my-alja at 1-1-2008 08:33 AM
kalo ikutkan aji....adakah semua org akan jadi matang sebab ada "movement" tu

kenapa ramai sgt kita jumpa org2 tua yg masih tak matang?...lari dr tanggungajawab, suka salahkan org...

apa yg ...

i think u sumbat istilah maturity tu pada ruang yang sangat sempit lah..pendapat aku ler k?

saya lagi suka jambu batu masih muda dari dia dah btui2 masak ranum..malah buah mempelam or betik pun ramai buat cicah sambal..jantung pisang tak sempat mature jadik buah pun depa ni bleh amik dan makan..sedapz gak

apa point saya tu?

u nak matang dari sudut apa? kalo fizikal, budak lelaki bila wet dream kira dah matang, peti sore dia pecah so sore dia garau skit dan bulu2 mula tumbuh esp pubic , armpit hair misalanya..so depa ni matang ke tidak?
tentu lah matang dari segi fizikali..boleh menghamilkan spesis female yang juga  kalo dia matang

fizikal tu limited but the mind tu limited ke? kat mana bahagian depan arus movement tu kita nak LIMITKAN proses kematangan tuh? umur 40? tapi ramai sebut life BEGINs at 40..mula 40 so matang nya bila life dia ni? saya ni ikutkan baru setaun dua hidup pasal 40 plus

berapa umur alja consider 'orang2 tua' , yang u kata lari dari tanggungjawap tuh?

senang kita fahamkan mature tu as 'dah masak' macam food, but japanese eat raw fish macam mana tu ha?

so pendapat saya dari saya buang masa kata dia tu tak mature, dia ni tak mature walo dah tua..saya buang je istilah mature, tadak tua seme tu..pendapat saya lah  ok? kalo ikut tradisi manusia umum semua tu..i just play along jek ok?

nak teach anak2?  teach them life is forever young..apa kita nampak bertukar tu cuma form so jadik reformation , pakej sana but essence nya forever young..just that the inside tu have to live with outside yang fizikali ada limitation

there is no limit in mind, but there is limit in THINKING, sebab berfikir ni perbuatan, dan perbuatan itu memerlukan TENAGA , otot otak tu..synapses neurons oksijen makanan aa kerihatan vitamin dan smua2..so jaga kesihatan baik2 jadik perbuatan berfikir itu sentiasa fully charged so minda itu berkembang dan terus berkembang tanpa ada limit kecuali tuhan saja yang tahu ler ok?

budak2 akan MAHU CEPAT MATURE, depa nak tiru oang dewasa, minum arak macam oang dewasa, isap rokok macam oang dewasa, bercinta macam oang dewasa so the kids want to rushing being AN ADULT.

Michael Jackson gives a good lesson to all of us, apabila children lost their world in the hands of their parents. The Balance tu ibu bapa kene btui2 halusi.

apa kita alami sampai mati, setiap detik tu hanya PROSES. bila kanak2 tidak btui2 puas merasai zaman kanak2 dia..risau juga nanti di zaman dia dewasa, dia ada PELUANG, KAPASITI, KEBOLEHAN ,KEMAMPUAN nak rasai apa dia lost dulu tuh. Ni dah masuk bab psycho analyst Freud tu ler k?

didik anak2 dengan FULL FREEDOM to them. no rules for them. jangan salah faham dengan maksud DISCPLINE. let the child ask anything. let them do anything and engaged the consequences. the feeling to know, curiousity  kalo di tekan or being suppressed akan keluar juga and maybe hasil tu buruk nanti.

treat the kid as what they FEEL, wanted to be treated but in parents mind , never lose any moment they are still kids.

Agul

People don't go smart by default.
It takes thinking and cultivation of wisdom to make it so.

Many people grow old, never attaining peace.
They are stil playing in the negative balance of the emotional scale.

It's not emotional maturity per se, as being jaded does not constitute emotional maturity.

It is more on emotional mastery. Attaining impertubability, whatever happens, whenever it happens.

It's very rarely that people achieve this naturally.

So we have practises to attain this.

my-alja

sempit?...ke pak aji tak paham apa yg i utarakan disini

kan dah ade list of maturity kat atas tu...mana ada i tanya pasal kematangan fizikal?....

tapi setuju pasal budak2 nak cepat jadi dewasa tu...

org2 tua tak matang pd fikiran i, bila dia dah berakal dan boleh buat keputusan...tapi masih tak bersedia utk dipertanggungajawab atas perbuatan dia

my-alja

Originally posted by Agul at 5-1-2008 01:44 AM
People don't go smart by default.
It takes thinking and cultivation of wisdom to make it so.

...

ermmm...i dun really agree on this

normal people learn from their failure, they learn how to be strong and perseverance

we always think that we can control our emotions well but .... we can't actually tell ...

not until the course of event

ajinomotonosuga

u preoccupied with the destination so u lost in ur journey ler alja

u sibuk nak sampai key el..but dalam perjalanan u lupa bau bunga macam mana, u lupa nak hayati siapa lembu yang u hampir langgar di tengah jalan ke key el..kalo u break nak elak fatigue driving pun u nap tanpa ada isi..u oblivious sekeliling u , what matters to u is ur destination

that is mature, boleh buat decision, boleh decide, berani decide

so kalo oang tu dah tua still tokleh decide u said jenis tak mature..so very2 meleset ler anggapan tuh

u oblivious kuasa tuhan, u tak nampak wujud faktor luaran, beyond control, u tak terima kelemahan still ada dalam kekuatan being..pendek kata as i always percept that u  ni just another extremist gak ....whom is very emotional and less rationale

segalanya in life is thru LEARNING and UNLEARNING, so each moment there must be aspect learning

the inability to learn itu ler kita kene tenguk btui2

maybe motor brain dia rosak, maybe imagination dia teruk sampai phobic, maybe trauma tu buat dia jadik split personalities, dan macam2 lagi..and all this time oang tu hidup normal, pakai normal, berkelakuan in most time tu normal

i always believed a genius is MADE..a leader is MADE and a muslem pun is MADE

nothing is created as such, everything is moving to designated destination , the journey MUST NOT BE FORGOTTEN and the journeys in the past is what we call history.

i ask u alja..why this NORMAL ppl come up with a saying 'history always repeat'. U ingat oang gila ke buat ungkapan ni?

sebab itu dalam dunia islam ada puak qadariah, ada puak jabariyah, ada muktazilah etc.

what a joke.. u said normal ppl learn from mistake??? from failure??? then why history always repeating itself..world wars 1 and 2 and now kita manusia still ada perang..what really went wrong?

yang buat peluru perpandu roket fighter kapal selam naval carrier seme tu genius ke tidak?  what a shame..so called genius are just the product of MONEY..the tools for the children of the devil.

my-alja

what a joke.. u said normal ppl learn from mistake??? from failure??? then why history always repeating itself..world wars 1 and 2 and now kita manusia still ada perang..what really went wrong?

cemana kalo i kata....sejarah repeat by itself bcos of diff people....

that's why i said normal people learn from his mistake...not from others mistake

my-alja

Maturity Begins at HomeIf many of us fall short of these noble attributes, it is because we grew up in less than ideal circumstances. No one is born mature; our emotional development is shaped by our parents and life experiences. Mature parents who recognize, validate and love their child for who he or she is and are fulfilled in their own lives rear mature children. "I think parents who have been able to find and realize their own dreams are the best parents of all, as long as their dream includes understanding and loving their own children," says Stark.

A child who successfully struggles with failures, disappointments and heartaches will develop greater maturity than one who is pampered and indulged. Throughout childhood, there are development tasks to be mastered, like making friends and developing autonomy. By completing most tasks without undue stress, conflict or difficulty, a child can develop into a mature adult.

actually my replied before to agul..refers to this article

memang btol cultivation amat perlu dr mak/ayah...tapi thru life experiences make it more "real"

antara contoh yg me lihat....antara anak lelaki dan pompuan, kenapa anak pompuan lagi sayang pd mak/ayah mereka berbanding anak lelaki...w/pun anak lelaki nie dididik dlm ilmu islam dia utk lebih bertanggungjawab pd ibu/ayah mereka sendiri..tapi realiti yg kita lihat adalah sebaliknya...

jawapan i mungkin salah, tapi nie yg i percaya...anak pompuan nie bila ada pengalaman "melahirakan"....dia tahu kesakitan tu "real" berbanding anak lelaki yg "rasa" dia sayang...tapi bila dapat bini ..sayang dia mudah sgt hilang ....

jadi analogi saya gunakan utk mempercayai artikel yg diatas tu...melalui kesusahan, pengalaman yg macam2...kita akan lagi matang...

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by my-alja at 5-1-2008 05:38 PM

cemana kalo i kata....sejarah repeat by itself bcos of diff people....

that's why i said normal people learn from his mistake...not from others mistake  

napa susah nak accept bahwa failures are being heaped upon us? it is part of the so called success?

kalo dalam dunia ni setiap manusia tu segalanya sama pun..history still repeating itself

tu aku bawak persoalan bulatan tuh.


ur proposition is to repel failures with ur kind of attitude..yang pada aku tak langsung 'wholly'

emotion MUST NEVER be included in any judgement esp macam dalam mahkamah tu..pada itu ramai berpendapat there should not be any capital punishment dalam dunia ni walo camna jenayah tu

kalo kita tenguk dalam islam pun i berani sebut tadak hukuman mati kecuali hutang darah di balas darah tu dari kehendak waris si mati..tuntutan dia yang mana mende ni boleh kalo di bayar blood money pun.

what so called mistakes, failures seme tu cuba emotion in 'collision course' saja..even kalo in state of perfection as long in dunia or universe or being created..prinsip bulatan aku cite tu applied.
it is the nature of being..always in circular motion..periodically

sebab tu aku lebih suke term emotional intelligence or kalo in malay aku bawak term pembasuhan emosi (consciously done)

i dont concern much about destination (samada oang tu tua or budak baru abis sunat) , i tenguk lebih pada the JOURNEY (the now, the presence, the moment)

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by Agul at 5-1-2008 01:44 AM
People don't go smart by default.
It takes thinking and cultivation of wisdom to make it so.

Many people grow old, never attaining peace.
They are stil playing in the negative balance of the ...

cultivation of wisdom is too much relying rational faculty
of which is still full of flaws and under dominan of emotion
macam isu nature or nurture, to cultivate or to let be ?

where do u put faith, under cultivation or mother nature nurturing?

we soon realised the need of belief (read religion) in self and society i.e. in being
even the science 'proved' against our 'belief'

Agul

Originally posted by my-alja at 5-1-2008 12:21 PM


ermmm...i dun really agree on this

normal people learn from their failure, they learn how to be strong and perseverance

we always think that we can control our emotions well but .... we ...

Respectfully燿iffer爁rom爕our爋pinion爐hen.營燿on't爏ubscribe爐o爐he爄dea爐hat爓e爈earn爁rom燼nything.

Agul

Originally posted by ajinomotonosuga at 5-1-2008 07:48 PM


cultivation of wisdom is too much relying rational faculty
of which is still full of flaws and under dominan of emotion
macam isu nature or nurture, to cultivate or to let be ?

where d ...

Sometime people needs guidance in the form of religion, tradtion and society so that they don't stray too far. Or err in judgement.
Human will never know everything and will never have perfect judgement. Emotion will be an issue, yes. So we have to master them.

So nature, nurture, cultivate and let be will be the process that most of us will go through. Each will be dominnt in different level.
So we may have more of 'nature' in the earlier stage while in the latter stage, when wisdom are more available to us, 'let be' will be more dominant.

Agul

Interesting discussion.

All the more because we have different opinion, background and experiences. And that is great.


I hope more people will join in.

Agul

Girls are always more demonstrative with their love while boys are more out of tune with their emotion.

I always see this.

my-alja

Originally posted by ajinomotonosuga at 5-1-2008 07:42 PM





napa susah nak accept bahwa failures are being heaped upon us? it is part of the so called success?

kalo dalam dunia ni setiap manusia tu segalanya sama pun..history still repeating  ...

ermm...rerasanya definasi mature pd saya dan aji nie berlainan, apa yg aji nak panggei "balance"..learning process...tapi yg pasti saya nak tahu cemana nak sampai ke destinasi akhir tu...yg dlm list yg saya bagi memula tu...jadi kena ada persetujuan pd definasi tu dululah...pak aji berminat dgn proses, pd u takde istilah mature...pd u destinasi tak penting jadi apa cek list yg awak tu matang , sedangkan itu yg saya nak bincang kat sini

tu sebab i rasa, isu maturity nie adalah isu self-developement...bukan isu pool-knowledge, history doesn't repeat by itself on the same poeple at the same time...kalo itu yg berlaku, itulah yg bukak thread "tak belajar-belajar"...bcos at some point we are still blind, w/pun tak terkena berkali-kali...masih buat kesilapan yg sama tak kiralah masa tu dia concious ataupun tidak....

satu benda yg saya paham, mana2 isu self-developement nie bila kita belajar....cam kita belajar naik basikal, sekali u belajar..u takkan lupa, w/pun stimulation, surrounding maybe difference from the 1st, but yg penting lesson to paddle the bike...takkan hilang, jadi kalo aji nak explore journey tu lebih pd destinasi....itu yg agul kata "thinking process"....experience can happen anytime but how does it reflects our thinking...we improve, we learn

tapi matlamat akhir kita nak jadi manusia yg seimbang, matang ....succes, what ever it is u may call it

[ Last edited by  my-alja at 6-1-2008 06:49 PM ]

my-alja

Originally posted by Agul at 5-1-2008 10:48 PM
Interesting discussion.

All the more because we have different opinion, background and experiences. And that is great.


I hope more people will join in.

memang menarik...rasanya org pun tak tahu mana nak break the issue...nampak cam besar sgt

apa yg i rasa, EQ nie ada kena mengena dgn modal insan yg org duk bincang sekarang nie...tu sebab kalo kita kongsi pengalaman dan buah fikiran, kenapa perlu sgt modal insan nie...apa lebihnya modal insan nie...apa jadi kalo takde...

my-alja

Originally posted by Agul at 5-1-2008 10:38 PM

In life, we don't learn from experience, we don't really learn from books, lectures, seminar, motivational talks etc...
We only learn (or attain wisdom) when we think about the experience, books etc...

, ...

can't agree more...that's why we see, too many people who attended a motivational seminar here and there...are still the same person like before...
so how to make us think?...what tigger us to develope emotionally?...why do we need to be matured in some ways...

do we need or...we choose to?

sinalegna

emotional maturity? i think an adult cried more than a child, faught more, act silly, stuborn, etc...
is that what really happens when you grew up? as for becoming "mature"... or was it because adults express themselves more?

Agul

maybe we all never really matures, it's just an illusion.

Agul

Originally posted by my-alja at 6-1-2008 06:56 PM


can't agree more...that's why we see, too many people who attended a motivational seminar here and there...are still the same person like before...
so how to make us think?...what tigger us牋...

Guess each of us need to find different ways to develop ourselves, and stop racing with each other btw...

In which way we would like to be...

I should quit other people's standards of maturities...
So who cares what I do or don't?

my-alja

Originally posted by sinalegna at 7-1-2008 12:56 PM
emotional maturity? i think an adult cried more than a child, faught more, act silly, stuborn, etc...
is that what really happens when you grew up? as for becoming "mature"... or was it because  ...

hehhehe...yeah it;s true

kids doing it bcos they are naive....adults doing it bcos of $%&*(?@~