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Living with Depression & Anxiety: Jom Share pengalaman masing2
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manjalara_01 replied at 4-9-2019 03:31 PM
Hey guys..
manja nak update something. skrg ni x tau la nk rs ape..panicky pun ade..td i pegi for ...
Thread tahun lepas tapi akak baru came across.. Akak dulu ada bunga2 utk depression. Kena ada very strong will utk overcome it walaupun bunga2. Suka duduk sorang dlm bilikwalau akak sebelum tu jenis outdoor person. Then selalu rasa wasted & useless. Tu masa the first couple years of marriage. Akak rasa sebab the way I was raised kot. Masa kecil akak anak yg paling manja and all. Bila dah menengah, akak x performed in academic. Perform means bukan top 5 for my batch. Being the top 10 or top 20 tu tak perform pada pandangan ayah akak. So bila akak jadi best English debater utk daerah, ayah x hairan pun. Bila jadi state hockey player, ayah x kesah pun. Sebab it all down to you being the top 5... Dan worst akak masuk maktab perguruan, bukan masuk uni. X macam kakak2 akak. So, dah hilang point lagi kat situ. And akak ni nakal. Akak jenis nakal x cover2 punya. Nakal akak memang depan2 akak buat. Kakak2 akak pun nakal tp cover baik ounya so akak la yg selalu kena marah dan selalu being compared to in studies and attitude. Bila kahwin, ayah dah mula sakit. Tp kesan layanan yg berbeza tu memang mempengaruhi diri akak.
Bila akak quit teaching, lagi ayah marah walau akak dah beranak seorang dah time tu. Memang stress.. Akak quit sebab pengalaman buat CPR kat anak sendiri was the worst nightmare a mother could endure. Tp xde org faham kenapa akak resigned lepas cuti separuh gaji & cuti tanpa gaji. Alhamdulillah, suami akak yg bantu akak utk buang rasa useless kat family. Dia suruh ingat balik betapa akak sayang ibu ayah & mcmana ayah layan akak sebelum2 tu.
Masa tu ada akak tanya physician akak yang juga berkawan baik dgn akak samada perlu tak akak ke psychologist utk consultant ke apa. Dia kata x perlu sebab dia yakin suami akak boleh bantu utk kalahkan bunga2 tu.
Kalau kita ada strong moral support dan strong inner will, ins yaa Allah boleh jadi ok. Kalau x yakin, elok cari profesional help kat luar sana selain dari perbaiki hubungan dengan Allah. Physical & spiritual kena kukuh.
Nanti senang2 akak story pasal kawan akak yg ada anxiety & depression ni ya. Dan mcmana akak bantu dia utk pulih. Bertahun2 dgn dia dan skrg dos xanax dia dah tinggal separuh biji sehari bila perlu sahaja. Satu kemenangan yg besar buat dia!
boleh bantu. |
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Kak-Leen replied at 30-6-2020 12:41 AM
Thread tahun lepas tapi akak baru came across.. Akak dulu ada bunga2 utk depression. Kena ada ver ...
It was quite a difficult journey, Adila. Alhamdulillah suami akak yg sealu bertahan bila akak nak rebah. Family x tahu. Even Ibu sendiri oun x pernah diberitahu. Sebab akak x nak Ibu risau. She’s my other pillar.. Bila balik kpg, all I want is to see her smile and laugh all the way while chatting through the night. No less or more. Mcm ada semangat bila tengok Ibu mcm tu.
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Yes semua org ada own journey kan. Glad knowing kak leen and most of them is surviving and lead better life instead. |
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i used to have a classmate; i tidak faham kenapa dia agak menjauhkan diri dari kita senua; so kami kata dia pemalu, tetapi tidak tepat kerana dia boleh hold conversation dengan budak lelaki denagn elok sahaja, tanpa tersipu2. tetapi dia tetap nampak different. nampak macam sensitive.. but not really; tetapi kadang2 she can be triggered into an emotional reaction by simple stuff. so i said, was that hormonal? was that family issues.. maybe bapak garang, or borther abusie.. as a teenager i couldnt work it out; due to this sort of behaviour, tidak lah power sangat in school.. or was it due to tidak power school maka dia jadi macam tu?
seriously i couldnt figure out what it was. bila tua ini i fikir was that a personality problem? was that depression? or just an overtly sensitive individual. saya now tahu, im not blessed with reading people's character. alos i tidak ada a good psychological approach towards her. i wonder what it was. i tahu, ia ada suatu diagnosis
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Post time 6-7-2020 05:14 PM
From the mobile phone
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ipes2 replied at 4-7-2020 04:50 AM
i used to have a classmate; i tidak faham kenapa dia agak menjauhkan diri dari kita senua; so kami ...
Ya kan Dr it can be so many factors. I pernah terbaca just from a person's upbringing & pengaruh family terkesan 60% pd sesorg individual sampai dewasa. Family is forever good or bad right,? 40% is you your own personality.
X tahu la how accurate info ni but it makes sense i guess. Just looking at somebody knowing t person briefly, byk lg layers yg kite x tahu psl org tu.
Actually i dah lame curious about org yg bermasalah ni. Sejak i myself nk cari jawapan misteri disebalik my personal struggles. So dari dulu bc mcm kisah bout other people. Cth mcm mana bleh terjebak dgn alcoholism etc.
Yg recently cause some adults x pernah dpt diagnoses ke gi treament for their mental health. Because of the pain, struggles, no support last2 minum arak just to numb t pain.
Before this i had no idea...
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Post time 6-7-2020 05:19 PM
From the mobile phone
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seribulan replied at 2-7-2020 05:12 PM
Tt hope you are coping share more please
Pernah bc quote ni..somewhere b4
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Post time 6-7-2020 10:24 PM
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Edited by manjalara_01 at 6-7-2020 10:27 PM
I nk mintak tolong u all, i nk bukak thread tajuk "bagaimana anda merawat diri sendiri dari sihir & sembuh??"
Kat board mana yg sesuai utk dpt helpful replies? I dah lebih 10 tahun ni tanggung sakit. Mcm u all jgk la yg dah bertahun2 ikhtiar, berubat, jumpe Doktor,jumpe perawat tp sakit masih berpjgn sampai hidup pun jd tunggang langgang. Ribuan duit habis dah nk cover all this. So duit pun dah nk kering, harap u all yg berpengalaman dpt kongsi tips & petua berkesan. Also kalau kenal perawat yg bleh dtg ke rumah tlg inform yea..Tq... |
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Bod sini boleh @ Bod Misteri, Paranormal & Sakti 
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Cuba mandian & sapuan bidara tu kot...dulu arwah Ustaz Harun Din ada Darussyifa...mungkin masih beroperasi
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manjalara_01 replied at 6-7-2020 10:24 PM
I nk mintak tolong u all, i nk bukak thread tajuk "bagaimana anda merawat diri sendiri dari sihir & ...
like seribulan tulis kat bod misteri paranormal
Hmmm semoga manja sentiasa strong and keep doing ur best utk pulih. Hopefully depa kat bod sana ada good recommendations |
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Post time 7-7-2020 09:54 PM
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Edited by manjalara_01 at 7-7-2020 09:56 PM
seribulan replied at 6-7-2020 10:32 PM
Bod sini boleh @ Bod Misteri, Paranormal & Sakti
Serabut pulak masuk sana. Sejujurnya i mmg xde semangat, tenaga & kekuatan nk tempuh semua ni.
Skali sakit mmg lesu yg amat. Lame pulak nk baik. Bulan lepas 3 mggu.Bulan ni sambung lagi sakit. Bile sakit x bleh buat ape kena harapkn mak i yg bile2 je bleh tinggalkan i. Yes she's that old. Harapkn mak masak bring my food. Gi kluar beli brg2.
Mmg niat nk gi berubat lepas pkp ni dah pkpp. Tp kalau dah mcm ni xleh gi berubat.
All this is making my deperession & anxiety worst. X tahu la u all prasan x di awal thread ni ade forumer cite kisah member kena jumpe psychiatrist kena mkn ubat anxiety sbb die sakit kena sihir. Begitu lah traumatizingnya bile sakit tu.
And yaa bile dah sedekad up & down, ikhtiar usaha mcm2 hadap all this some how semangat tu lame2 pudar..x bleh nk kuat balik jasmani rohani mcm sblum kena sihir dulu..
Harap u all x kisah i buat sessi luahan kat sini. |
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Author |
Post time 7-7-2020 09:57 PM
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adila39 replied at 6-7-2020 11:59 PM
like seribulan tulis kat bod misteri paranormal
Hmmm semoga manja sentiasa strong and keep doin ...
Tq for all the doa. Amin |
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Edited by chesfa2 at 8-7-2020 11:10 PM
manjalara_01 replied at 7-7-2020 09:54 PM
Serabut pulak masuk sana. Sejujurnya i mmg xde semangat, tenaga & kekuatan nk tempuh semua ni.
...
Hi manja,
I posted earlier as aleX-S. Had to deactivate when it became too overwhelming to control my emotions here, dengan sume orang saya rasa nak gaduh. Malas ler nak acah2 ok sebab saya tak ok pun 
I won't dare comparing my issues to yours, as our hardships tak sama. We might share the same boat tapi kasut tak sama. And if this could make you feel any better, I'm jealous that you can still walk (reading from your ealier posts)! Mind you, I'm jealous of you and almost everybody else on the planet for that
I'm exaggerating slightly: I can walk a bit, each step dah jadi kecil berkadar langsung dengan masa dan progress.. I get the impression that my 'progression' is pretty standard. But everyone's different. So, saya tak boleh compare situasi sendiri dengan orang lain, I can only empathize
I'm quite sceptical bila orang cakap, saya kena sihir, ada orang buat jahat etc. Ayah dan arwah mak tak hantar belajar tinggi2 to just blindly accept those opinions. Tapi saya caya, bila kita sakit, benda2 camni senang nak kacau kita. While doing modern treatment, banyak kali gak buat traditional treatments, urut2, perubatan Islam etc. Sampai lunyai kena lenjan pun it's still the same. Not really convinced at all that benda ni berpunca dari keja2 jahat orang
Penah jumpa neurologist? Ada undermine/ overlook your symptoms? Some of my symptoms sama dengan orang yang depressed (while I was not at that time), so saya jumpa neurologist sebab everything didn't make sense at all masa tu
Dah dapat diagnosis, I was in denial. Personally, I don't regret all the time I was in denial. It helped me see that I can have a life beyond (diagnosis not for you to know). It hurts a lot when I can't deny it anymore though, hence the depression. I'm not like who I used to be. I often told myself that I am still awesome, the other side of me would reply, REALLY??? Jahat tau benda ni!!! Seumur hidup saya kena hadap. I deal with it because I NEED to. Not the most inspiring statement but that's what I do! As I get older and this thing takes more of my energy, I learn it's more mental than just physical. Acceptance, frust, acceptance, frust, acceptance, frust...
Don't stop manja! Orang cakap, use it or lose it, walaupun kita penat. I'm not too good with exercises, to not be idle and stagnant. I’m not very perseverant, self-will is often short-lived now – selalu exercise every day for two weeks and then get fed up dan bermalas-malasan for a month
I used to see a physiotherapist and she told me to not overdo anything, because if I strain a muscle or something, it'll be harder and take longer for me to recover than for most people. I had nasty fall, tiga bulan mereput atas katil. Batuk dan demam, lama kena rehat sebab fatigue, depleted energy. But then again she said that it’s good to push yourself, just make sure you build it up slowly. I guess it’s about finding a balance, yang penting jangan stop!
I think the main thing is to force yourself to do everything you can do, walaupun penat ya tuhan. Instead of asking someone to get me a drink etc. I do it myself if I can. I use a tumbler baru segelas penuh air tu tak jadi half-full sebab asik tumpah. Air tumpah pun can make my mood kacau
Just don't stop! Sebab saya tau, if I do not do something one day, it will be harder to do the next day
"It's what you can still do that matters!"
Be strong manja! Moga satu hari kita akan dapat ketenangan yang dicari. Really hope that you are ok, you get the help and support that you need and deserve 
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It's challenging to concentrate reading now. How to buy a friend, jadi how to BURY a friend
Gambar ni betul2 depict what I am feeling
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Hi chesfa 2 
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Apa yg serabut tu
Elok je post sesi luahan kat sini.
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Author |
Post time 11-7-2020 05:10 PM
From the mobile phone
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Edited by manjalara_01 at 11-7-2020 05:14 PM
chesfa2 replied at 8-7-2020 10:10 PM
Hi manja,
I posted earlier as aleX-S. Had to deactivate when it became too overwhelming to c ...
I have 2 b honest i x habis bc post u pjg sgt..
Anyway i x nk cite pjg2 psl bab sihir tu cause rs thread ni x sesuai kot. Bile desperate x dpt cari perawat etc ke baru bukak nnt. Terpulang pd pendpt u utk caya ke x. Ramai yg slalu komen kalau x pernah alami sendiri x kan phm.
Dah 10 years i rs kalau org lain pun dah usaha ikhtiar mcm2..
Harap x annoying tp u ade mental illness jenis ape yea?
I pun masa mula2 in denial. Ttiber kena gi klinik psychiatry mcm weird skit la x same dgn klinik lain. Lepas satu2 kena diagnose pun indenial..Tp lepas tu redha je la cause all my life mmg dah ade mental illness ni cume x tahu, x dpt treatment.
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Post time 11-7-2020 05:15 PM
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seribulan replied at 10-7-2020 01:24 AM
Apa yg serabut tu
Otak i yg serabut hehehe.. |
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Post time 30-6-2020 12:41 AM
Post time 1-7-2020 09:54 AM
Post time 2-7-2020 05:12 PM
share more please 
