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Lessons of Life - Relationships

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Post time 23-8-2016 11:51 AM | Show all posts |Read mode
Edited by winsonyu at 23-8-2016 11:53 AM

Hey Semua,

Cuma nak tulis tentang pengajaran dalam hidup tentang percintaan.....This is for thse who is currently in a relationship dan akan masuk relationship...Semua ni atas ayat I sendiri dan bukan copy paste dari tempat lain.....dan mungkin akan ade beberapa part ye...Utk semua yg rasa i membantu anda...tolong komen...yg tak suka...tolong lah jangan komen.....ini atas rela dan hati ikhlas winson yg hendak membantu forumer Cari di sini. Walaupun BM I fasih..tapi utk meluahkan ayat2 ini, winson lebih teror tulis dalam english


Part 1

Every day in our lives, every action and choices we make is but our own. Even if there are friends or colleague(who wants us good) that give advices, both bad and good, at the end of the day it is still our choice to make. So which means any actions or choices could be either bad or good. One wrong choice may result in risking ur relationship wth our partner. So, we cannot make decisions based on our heart coz our heart follows the emotional feelings that we want to do...it is good if that is the correct decision that can help in our relationship, but often times, it may not. Many a times it will not be logic, coz logic thinking is from our mind....

Let me give u an example....I was in a long distance relationship with a girl i know for 22 months. She was studying in NZ that time and I was in KL. When I first met her, she was quite depress due to being alone there in a foreign land, family issues and having mild depression. She likes to cut herself. So I spent alot of time giving her advice and being her pillar of support and then slowly she became a better person. Then after that she made herself busy by joining sports and club activities but unfortunately she was too busy until she failed a few papers...so I was telling her to go slow...eliminate all so that she can focus on her studies...All this time I have been communicating with her contstantly via whatsapp and video skype a few times in a week.long distance  relationship we need to do this in order to keep the communication going.

Unfortunately this year I think she was too free and happen to find a new guy friend to hang out....and as u know, if u hang out with a person on the opposite sex long enough when ure lonely, u will eventuall fall in love, coz our heart do all the thinking. Now the mind would think logic and tell her that she is having a bf, but when the heart already makes the decision and fell in love, logic becomes irrelevant. So how good I were, all the good things I have done for her, all does not matter coz she has already find a new love. Do I blame her? Yes of course coz it wasnt fair for me right coz I did not do anything wrong. I did everything in any books you can find about how to maintain a long distance relationship. I tried to make her guilty for 2 days hping that she will dump that guy and come back to me. That was my heart talking.......but in the end, when my mind takes over and begins to think logic, I did not blame her coz she was lonely and she followed her heart and fell in love with that person. Nothing that I do will change that coz in the end, Im here and he is there. Definately she wants someone close to her for emotional support, love etc. I had to let her go

So in life, while we are in a relationship, every little thing that we do matters the most. For the women, its quite normal that they think from the heart. But for the man, it would be advisable to think from the mind, to think logic, to rationalise and to know what is right and wrong to maintain the relationship.

The next part I will write is about arguments

.........To be continued
By Winson Yu

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Post time 23-8-2016 12:08 PM | Show all posts
erm..so sad to know this bro..
life goes on..
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 12:12 PM | Show all posts
sue_0684 replied at 23-8-2016 12:08 PM
erm..so sad to know this bro..
life goes on..

Thanks...my life has already moved on...now its sharing everything I know back to help anyone who needs it
It will be a series of educating about life and relationships
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Post time 23-8-2016 12:35 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Makcik nak kasihan kan winsonyu tapi makcik tau no need for that sbb winson udah matang dan tahu nak handle all sorts of situation gitu haaaa
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 12:43 PM | Show all posts
blackwidowbae replied at 23-8-2016 12:35 PM
Makcik nak kasihan kan winsonyu tapi makcik tau no need for that sbb winson udah matang dan tahu nak ...

@blackwidowbae......winson bukan tulis semua ni utk dapat kasihan tentang hidup saya..tapi utk menulis utk memberi advice utk org lain tentang kehidupan dan percintaan.....itu cuma contoh dari pengalaman saya utk differenciate what is thinking from the heart and the mind....

My story is already the past....but now im writing a series of lessons to help all to understand the things in a relationship

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Post time 23-8-2016 12:44 PM | Show all posts
long distance relationship - me - big NO...






dh bukan jodoh...
ok next..
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 12:50 PM | Show all posts
awanjingga replied at 23-8-2016 12:44 PM
long distance relationship - me - big NO...

Sometimes its not for us to decide whether we want it or not.........for me, few years ago I tell everyone that if you could avoid it, do not get into a lond distance relationship

but like I said...we all are humans...we think from the heart most of the time...we fall in love using our heart....even though in our minds, its not logic

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Post time 23-8-2016 02:00 PM | Show all posts
Satu kisah yang menarik. Berbaloi juga bacanya.
Cepat sedikit sambungannya.
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 02:04 PM | Show all posts
Emperor95 replied at 23-8-2016 02:00 PM
Satu kisah yang menarik. Berbaloi juga bacanya.
Cepat sedikit sambungannya.

Thank you for your comments
akan sambung

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Post time 23-8-2016 02:22 PM | Show all posts
winsonyu replied at 23-8-2016 06:04 AM
Thank you for your comments
akan sambung

Saja nak tahu sambungannya. Kalau memberi kritikan membina takut tidak dapat terima dan kecewa.

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Post time 23-8-2016 02:30 PM | Show all posts
Tears of sorrow.... Nobody wants to be lonely. If I will be her, I want you to be with me all the times (good or bad). Since failed a few papers, I (she) will find any college @ university in Malaysia to continue my study where you can guide and care of me.

I know that anyone else can make you happy too.
Hope that you will find new partner, friend... Love !
Good Luck Friend.
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Post time 23-8-2016 02:42 PM | Show all posts
tq winsonyu. selalu bagi pendapat2 yg bernas n nasihat yg berguna
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 02:59 PM | Show all posts
mystica replied at 23-8-2016 02:42 PM
tq winsonyu. selalu bagi pendapat2 yg bernas n nasihat yg berguna

thank you for your kind words....you have given me the inspiration to continue writing

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Post time 23-8-2016 03:43 PM | Show all posts
thank you winson.
interesting
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Post time 23-8-2016 04:25 PM | Show all posts
that is why i think the distance relationship is sucks..sorry to say this
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 04:50 PM | Show all posts
antidote replied at 23-8-2016 03:43 PM
thank you winson.
interesting

Ur welcome...part 2 coming soon
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 05:39 PM | Show all posts
Part 2

Most girls would agree that they do not like to be scolded by their bf/hubby and would not like their partner to raise his voice at her. That is true on my side, probably becoz her parents did that to her. Somehow in my job I cant seem to control my anger but if its to the one I love, its automatic..... So i rarely shout at her.

Alot of arguments result from lack of communication. Becoz its a relationship consisting of 2 ppl, there will be bound to have differences, different likes and different wants. Thats for sure right? The problem that most man faced is when women always keep to themselves and very seldom able to express what they really feel inside. Even if they do, its still not 100% accurate as to how they feel. I always say that the guy is the stupidest when it comes to guessing. How do you expect us to guess what women is thinking, what women wants, what she feels, what she likes and dont like.

Someone once told me, arguments are normal in a relationship. Yes I will agree if the relationship is new. But after a while once both parties express themselves out well, everyday can be happiness without arguments and it can be like this forever. When I was with my ex, she has the tendency to blow up alot of times....The I keep telling her again and again to communicate and express out her feelings. Generally she cant as well. So sometimes when she is angry and she does not want to say it out, I will let her be.....eventually after a few days, she will send me an email and express how she feels. Well, thats another method that some of you could use. Irregardless of what method,  as long as the guy finally understand ur feelings, then things can be solved, things can be understood and we can work towards the solution.

Seriously, alot of ppl are very very far from this and need alot of change, including me. I can be ego at times also...wanting to be right most of the times...but it will not help.

Believe me guys....relationship and being in love is suppose to be the most happiest time of our lives. Then slowly u will see the goodness of each other and you will feel that your partner will be more caring, more loving, more motivating...and of coz....more happy

I am the happiest when Im in a relationship...becoz u look forward to speak to that person, to look forward for that video call when its a long distance relationship, to look forward for her to come back when she comes back for holiday, to look forward when u can hug her to sleep, etc.
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 05:55 PM | Show all posts
@Emperor95, @mystica, @antidote, Part 2 is now out....
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 Author| Post time 23-8-2016 06:54 PM | Show all posts
juecy replied at 23-8-2016 02:30 PM
Tears of sorrow.... Nobody wants to be lonely. If I will be her, I want you to be with me all the ti ...

Thank u for ur kind words old friend
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Post time 23-8-2016 07:14 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
winsonyu replied at 23-8-2016 12:43 PM
@blackwidowbae......winson bukan tulis semua ni utk dapat kasihan tentang hidup saya..tapi utk men ...


Makcik paham winsonyu oii...kalau cikki2 haruslah makcik simpati dan kasihan kalau sheolls di tmpt winson..tapi sbb jd kat winson tu sbb makcik bilang lagu tuuu..ada faham? Tak paham takpe lah...lalalalalaaaaaaa~~~     
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