... 9 Megalomaniacal Facts About Narcissism...

seribulan

9 Megalomaniacal Facts About Narcissism 3/17           
                          Jordan Rosenfeld        4 hrs ago




© iStock 9 Megalomaniacal Facts About Narcissism

You hear the term narcissist tossed out frequently, but is that date who’s more interested in hearing himself talk really a narcissist or just a jerk? What about your boss who always demands you do things his way? The term stems from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a beautiful and proud young man who was cursed by the god Nemesis to fall in love with his own reflection and died pining for his own beauty. But in real life, psychologists have developed a list of actual criteria for the definition of narcissism.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as it’s called in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), “is one of the least understood of personality disorders,” psychologist Anjhula Mya Singh Bais tells mental_floss. A former model and now Ph.D, Bais has for the past 10 years worked with clients who are celebrities, high achievers, and their partners dealing with various facets of NPD.
Bais says the NPD diagnosis evolved through collaboration between psychoanalysts and psychologists over the years “who couldn’t quite put their finger on a subset of their patients." NPD also tends to co-exist with depression or anxiety; having one of those conditions is often the only reason a narcissist tries therapy.

To qualify as a narcissist, an individual must have "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts," paraphrased from the fifth version of the DSM [PDF]:

— A grandiose sense of self-importance, exaggerating achievements and talents
— Fantasizes about unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
— Believes that he or she is “special” and should associate only with high-status people or institutions
— Requires excessive admiration
— Has a sense of entitlement, expects favorable treatment or automatic compliance
— Is interpersonally exploitative, taking advantage of others
— Lacks empathy, unwilling to recognize or identify others' feelings and needs

1. NARCISSISTS LIVE IN A GRANDIOSE WORLD OF THEIR OWN MAKING.Narcissists become fixated on fantasies of infinite success, control, brilliance, beauty, or idyllic love, Bais says. They believe they are "extraordinary and exceptional and can only be understood by, or should connect with, other extraordinary or important people or institutions.”

2. NARCISSISTS DO NOT EXPERIENCE EMPATHY.What makes narcissists incredibly difficult to be in relationship with is “they lack empathy in totality,” Bais says. They do not care about others’ points of view or feelings, unless “it is to manipulate a situation or person to their advantage,” she adds. Psychologist Brad Reedy, the clinical director of Evoke Therapy Programs, puts it more bluntly. “If you don’t fulfill their needs, they have no use for you,” say Reedy, who has treated clients with narcissism in therapy for 20 years. In this regard, the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath—who also views people as objects and lacks empathy—may simply be a matter of degree.

3. YET THEY HAVE A MADDENING ABILITY TO CHARM.A romantic relationship with a narcissist may start with passion and excitement. Your narcissist may be the most dynamic person in the room or “extraordinarily charming,” Bais says. But that charm eventually gives way to manipulation, entitlement, lack of forgiveness, a desperate need for ego strokes, and even rage.

4. NARCISSISM IS WORSE THAN ARROGANCE.According to Reedy, the narcissist’s personality is so pervasive, rigid, and consistent that “they won’t be able to demonstrate anything different than the narcissist presentation.” A person who is just a little arrogant still has moments where they can admit they’re wrong, apologize for their mistakes, and empathize. But unlike people with “strong confidence” or arrogance, narcissists “place value only on [themselves] and no one else,” Bais says.

5. NARCISSISM STARTS IN CHILDHOOD …Narcissism is forged by “a fundamental lack of connection in childhood—a lack of attachment,” Reedy explains. This “narcissistic wound,” as psychologists call it, comes from what Reedy describes as “valuing the wrong thing in the child”—such as praising them for their achievements or outward appearance, but never for their inner value. In this way they differ from people with anti-social personality disorder, who usually have experienced direct abuse. Many children who become narcissists, according to psychologist Alice Miller’s landmark book The Drama of the Gifted Child, consistently seek admiration because of an empty sense of themselves. Without therapy, Reedy says, “it is impossible for the grandiose person to cut the tragic link between admiration and love.”

6. … BUT CAN ONLY BE DIAGNOSED IN ADULTHOOD.Be careful not to call your child or teen a narcissist, Reedy cautions. “Developmentally, children have many narcissistic traits," he says. "This is normal. Shaming them is not healthy.”

7. TRY NOT TO TAKE A NARCISSIST’S BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY.Since narcissists require immense amounts of therapy to even begin to make changes in their nature, your best bet if you’re dealing with one in your life, says Reedy, is to “see them for what they are and don’t take it personally. It really isn’t about you.” However, narcissists inspire in others an understandable urge to “take them down a notch” or “put them in their place," Reedy says, which will only further aggravate a narcissist’s behavior. “A superiority complex always covers up an inferiority complex.”

8. HOWEVER, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST.Since narcissists are unlikely to change on their own without therapy—which most of them are unlikely to seek out unless they have co-existing anxiety or depression—you may have to accept that the only solution for a healthy relationship is to leave. “If that is either impractical or you are unwilling to leave [the relationship], be sure not to try to fix it or conclude that you can fix it if you do all the right things,” Reedy advises. He considers that the most common mistake of people who stay in “toxic relationships.”

9. THERAPY MAY HELP NARCISSISTS TO CHANGE.The cure is long-term therapy, Reedy says, “where one experiences something different than what they experienced in their childhood.” However, getting a narcissist to therapy is no small task, as many of them view therapy as an admission of something wrong with them. The good news is that once they’re getting help, Bais says, they do respond well to psychotherapy.

>>>MSN...

Drsgonfruit

seribulan replied at 10-2-2017 12:21 PM
9 Megalomaniacal Facts About Narcissism 3/17           
                          Jordan Rosenfeld ...

When a narcissist can no longer control u.. they will instead try to control how others see u.

Drsgonfruit

A narcissist is very skilled at getting what they want, using charisma, manipulation, mind games, passive-aggressive behaviour and control - gena del silva

seribulan

Drsgonfruit replied at 10-2-2017 10:11 PM
A narcissist is very skilled at getting what they want, using charisma, manipulation, mind games, pa ...

Spot on

seribulan

narcissist might also be related to ME-syndrome...everything is about ME, ME and ME...

surideena

Arguing with  narcissist is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

caramel_cloud9

Narcissist
- a more polite term for a self-serving, manipulative, evil asshole without soul.

seribulan

Dia akan baik dengan orang bila perlu kot...ala habis madu sepah dibuang...
Nanti perlu, boleh muka tembok, guna balik...minta tolong...

Drsgonfruit

seribulan replied at 12-2-2017 10:43 AM
Dia akan baik dengan orang bila perlu kot...ala habis madu sepah dibuang...
Nanti perlu, boleh muka ...

An apology to a narcissist means:

Look how good I am.
Now you owe me forgiveness.
We won’t talk about this again.
Our relationship is still on my terms, but I appear to care about your feelings.

the narcissist uses an apology as part of the “cycle of abuse.”

bianglala

bianglala

Drsgonfruit

Narcissists play dumb when they're caught. U should never fell compelled to explain the basic principles of common courtesy to an adult.

seribulan

Hasil kajian mendapati segelintir masyarakat beranggapan gambar swafoto sebagai suatu seni serta cara untuk berhubung dengan satu sama lain. Bagaimanapun, ada juga yang beranggapan swafoto sebagai tindakan narsisistik atau mengagumi diri sendiri yang berlebihan.



Foto: www.mascaramavenandmore.com

Tak kisahlah jika orang lain menganggap aktiviti berswafoto sebagai suatu tindakan memuja atau mengagumi diri sendiri, yang penting jangan melakukan sesuatu yang melampaui batas. Jika anda tak suka dengan gambar selfie orang lain, sebaiknya pejamkan saja mata anda. Jangan marah-marah. - CARI

ironpatriot31

From my opinion, narcissist is somehow the type of people who always think that they are right and never wrong even if we prove them wrong, they will stand up for themselves to prove those who prove them wrong are actually wrong themselves

seribulan

This Is Why Unloved Daughters Attract NarcissistsFebruary 13, 2017 Admin daughters, narcissits
The daughters of unloving mothers have a lot of issues which come from having lived a cruel, crazy-making lifestyle. Here’s why they attract narcissists:

I think that living with a Narcissistic Mother is possibly one of the most horrendous abuses of children, because – depending where on the Narcissistic Spectrum our mother is located – it can be so subtle that we don’t even realise we’re being abused.

As one Daughter with a Narcissistic Mother wrote so eloquently:

As different as [all daughters with narcissistic mothers] are, as varied as our situations, ages, memories, degrees of suffering or desire to vent, the consequences of being raised by this kind of mentally ill mother are essentially universal. It is an abnegation of the soul, and I’d argue that the damage it does is more insidious than most other forms of child abuse. It is completely invisible to everyone, including the perpetrator (who literally cannot see what she is doing) and her victim (who knows only this). The harm it does is all pervasive; it is vicious, painfully unjust and mutilating. (Reprinted with permission; bolding/italics mine)

I certainly didn’t know this abuse was going on. When my sister more or less left home when she was 15, all-but living with a neighbour, and officially left home never to be seen again at age 17, all I could think was, “What’s her problem?”

And it never occurred to me to wonder where my own depression, suicide attempt and constant suicide thoughts, and eating disorder, had come from.

We just internalise the stress, and think it’s us that’s wrong, and horrible, and maybe even crazy. This is assisted by the fact that our Narcissistic Mothers and Enabling Fathers tell us that we’re crazy! Maybe not in as many words (although often, yes, in as many words), but every time they gaslight us to tell us our memory and perceptions are mistaken, it’s effectively saying we’re crazy.

On my last conversation with my mother she told me patronisingly that I had a very good imagination – the inference being that I was totally imagining all of what I was saying.

SponsoredWAHC

We maybe still think our mother loves us because she tells us she odoes,and we don’t know any better to realise that normally love doesn’t manifest in such sly put-downs, such undermining, such neglect. And of course our culture tells us, loud and clear and over and over, that our mother loves us, and that we need to love her. And because of this, our friends just don’t – cannot – understand any of this, and that’s lonely too.

And we believe we love her because, well, that’s what daughters do. And as normal loving girls we crave to love.

The heritage of being a Daughter with a Narcissistic Mother just goes on and on – I’ve heard it described, bitterly, as the gift that keeps on giving.

We feel we cannot be our authentic true selves, even assuming we can figure out who that authentic self even is.

We suffer from low self-esteem, often to the level of self-loathing, and we struggle with self-care. We almost certainly cannot love ourselves, and all this is evidenced by our negative self-talk.

We may believe we have no right to exist, and almost certainly feel that we’re never good enough, that we’re not acceptable, that at some deep down level we’re inherently flawed.

We either are forever self-sabotaging, or burdened with impossible perfectionism.

Although there is often euphoria when we make this discovery about NPD, as we realise we’re not crazy, that can be quickly followed by anger, grief and bereavement, sadness, shame and guilt, and maybe even hatred.

We’re weary of our successes being dismissed and our tragedies being used as drama-queen fodder.

We perhaps still always feel like a little girl, and we’re probably scared to own, or access, our own power – and that keeps us feeling powerless too. We’ve had years of being told we’re too sensitive, and possibly we are, now.

We have difficulty setting boundaries, whether that’s with our family or with others.

We may well be overly fearful of authority figures, or people being angry with us.

We worry about whether we ourselves are narcissistic.

We may have body issues – either being overweight, or terrified of gaining weight.

We may find ourselves still experiencing huge fear of her, no matter how old we are or how assertive in other parts of our lives.

We may find that we’re still trying – in vain, of course – to get her approval, or to get her attention.

We may want to severely limit our contact with her, or even to cut off all contact– but be worried and confused about that.

We no doubt have difficulties in forming relationships, or maybe we’re attracted to unhealthy and abusive relationships. We have a constant fear of abandonment, and huge trust issues. We carry a constant feeling that the world isn’t safe.

We also have massive issues around deserving. Deep down we may feel that we don’t deserve good things, or good relationships, or even that we don’t deserve to heal. We may also have beliefs around healing that healing means she gets away with it, for example, which block us, or the belief that being unhappy is a badge of proof that this happened.

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kumak

seribulan replied at 10-2-2017 12:21 PM
9 Megalomaniacal Facts About Narcissism 3/17           
                          Jordan Rosenfeld ...

When narcissist has lost control over you, they will control how others will see you

Metinpehlivan

I've dealt with people like this and it's exhausting

KhunJee

Exaggerate their own importance. Lacks empathy. Trouble keeping healthy relations. Unreal intelligence. Pursues mainly selfish goals.

JeepersCreepers

"They do not care about others’ points of view or feelings, unless “it is to manipulate a situation or person to their advantage,” she adds.
~ I knew someone just like that...and he was very charming esp when it was to his advantage

naz1641

Narcissists have the ability to be charming and charismatic when they choose to be. Like a master salesperson, they know how to say the right things to entice your attention, and steer you into believing their sugar-coated