...LETS JOKE TO TICKLE THE MIND...

andrea_ester

Teacher: Name a famous explorer that has been forgotten?

Student: Internet Explorer.

rorygilmore

Life after death?

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“Yes, sir,” the clerk replied.
“That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”

rorygilmore

What Did You Learn?

Susie came home from her first day at school.

Her mother said, "Well, Honey, what did you learn today?"

"Not enough, I guess....They want me to come back again tomorrow."

rorygilmore

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

rorygilmore

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

rorygilmore

A LITTLE BOY WROTE TO SANTA ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

rorygilmore

Reading The Fifth

I’m writing my book in fifth person, so 
every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”

rorygilmore

HOW TO TRANSLATE WORK EMAILS..


I have a question.     =     I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best.     =     I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further.     =     Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries.     =     You really messed up this time.

Take care.     =     This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.

Cheers!     =     I have no respect for you or myself!

seribulan

seribulan

seribulan

seribulan

pinkypetal

A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.

rorygilmore

MsIda

Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.

At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.

MsIda

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality

MsIda

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, "He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?"

"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."  

MsIda

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?  

MsIda

Three guys are flying over a desert in a hot air balloon. They see a man below and yell at him, “Do you know where we are?”

The man thinks about it for a long time and when they’re nearly out of earshot, yells after them, “You’re in a balloon.”   

rorygilmore

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”