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Cinta tidak kesampaian..Terkubur bersama jasad
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Hidup i penuh dgn cerita. Warna-warna pelangi. Ahh.. Adakah ini dugaan yang harus i tempuhi. Setiap pasangan yang berkahwin mengimpikan kisah hidup mereka bahagia sehingga ke akhir hayat. Perjalanan tanpa sebarang liku-liku, onak dan duri. Mustahil bukan?? Selagi masih begelar manusia, selagi itulah kita akan terus diuji dan diuji.
I nak berkongsi secebis drpd kisah hidup i. Kisah yang tak pernah i kongsikan dilaman porem ni. Kisah berlaku ketika fasa awal pernikahan kami. Early stage, which is less than 5 years. I dan hubby memulakan kehidupan kami dari bawah. Start from zero. Takde nikah grand2, cukup syarat dan majlis kecil for both sides. I pun baru keje gomen 6 bln. Hubby plak baru bertatih dlm bidang bisnes.
Setelah 2 thn, kabel dlm bisnes mula nk berkembang, and ditakdirkan berkenalan dgn seorang perempuan, 5 years older than us. A few times berurusan, maka beralih ke nxt stage, jd partner bisnes. Wanita ni sudah berkahwin, so, she's the one yg handle bisnes. Her hubby just involved blkg tabir. I mmg x campur tgn sbb i ada my own career. Atas urusan kerja my hubby & his partner selalu keluar berdua. Hubungan antara both family pun rapat. Selu hang out together. I pn baru ada anak kecik. Diorang dh lama nikah, almost 7 years, tp xde anak lagi. So anak i jd tumpuan diorng. My hubby pun rapat dgn her parents, so selalu la dtg rumah family pompuan ni. Pompuan ni stay with her parents, walaupun dh nikah. Jemput pompuan ni kt rumah. I bersangka baik sajalah, memandangkan both of us dah ada psgn msg2 kan. Husnuzon gila kekdahnya... My bad.
Until one day, i saw birthday card utk pompuan ni. I jumpa dlm.kete hubby i. I kenal sesangat tulisan dlm kad tu. Tulisan hubby i. Ringkas je ayat dia. Hubby birthday sayang. So, kt sini bermulalah syak wasangka, i confront dgn hubby. Dia menafikan kad tu dr dia. Ok, fine. Dah confront, argue mcm2 but stl x mengaku. Since that time, i mmg dh ada perasaan cemburu marah segala. Tak lama lps tu, pompuan tu pregnant, dpt 1st baby. Dr segi bisnes plak, lama2 hubby i rasa dia cuma dipergunakan oleh pompuan tu je. Almaklumla,byk modal dpt dr bapak pompuan tu, so modal pompuan tu keluarkan, yg keje mcm nak mampus my hubby. Bila dpt untung,hubby i dpt ciput, x setimpal dgn keje yg dia buat. After almost 3 years, hubby i decided utk quit and bergerak sendiri. So kat sini sini dia ckp kt i, jgn salah sangka dgn keakraban dia. Xde apa2 pun yg berlaku between them. Lg pun pompuan tu bini org kut. Ok, fine. After hubby i quit, dia pun full swing. My hubby still keep in touch dgn mak pompuan ni,since diorng xde anak lelaki,hubby i ni jd anak angkat diorang. Menantu lelaki diorang ni, ala2 bewak hidup pun ada. So bila kenal dgn hubbi, diorng suka dgn cara hubby i. On a positive side, hubby i byk connection, kenal ramai kwn2 baru. Dia belajar bergaul dgn org yg lebih tua. Waktu tu kitorang belum lg masuk 30an. Ao byk deal dgn org2 yg berjaya, yg dh lama bisnes. So new things utk hubby i. Pr hubby i mmg tip top, so easier for him to adapt with new people.
Hubby i pun dh mula build his own bisness, so quite bz, sekai sekala ja diorng ni keep in touch tru phone, gitu2 ajelah. Until 3-4 years back, mak pompuan ni beria2 nk jumpa i and anak2 waktu raya. oklah dtg jumpa and dia ckp mama dh lama dia suh hubby i bwk famili. Dia nk kenal2. Menurut cerita, after hubby i quit drp jadi bisner partner, bisnes pompuan ni up and down, tp fikrng pesuli apa, bapak kaya. So no problem sgt. Mcm2 bisnes diorng buat. Xde duit, jual rete bapak, itulah yg menantu dia buat. Hubby i pun x campur sgt. Since that day, hubby i makin kerap plak jumpa family. I sekali sekala bila ada kenduri etc ja join. Mak pompuan ni makin kerap mengadu with my hubby. Dia buat mcm anak sendiri. Last year, hubby i bukak 1 cafe, new bisnes utk ktorang, so kebetulan pompuan ni & her husbnd ada bisnes coffee. So diorng joint venture la sekali dkt cafe ktorang. So makin kerap la jumpa kan. Duduk satu bumbung. Opis hubby i kt tingkat atas cafe. N usually bila ada meeting, client hubby i mmg suka lepak dkt cafe.
Hubby pompuan ni duduk.kt cafe, tp sll sgt la cari gaduh dgn staff bagai. Ada ja x kena, end up before raya, diorng cabut. Tup2, ahad pagi, i dpt berita yg mengejutkan. Pompuan ni meninggal mlm sabtu (around 11.500pm). Hubby i tgh outstation dkt sarawak, early in the morning baru dia dpt cerita. I bgn pg i tgk watsap hubby ino profile picture. I saja watsap dia, morningggg, mn hila g ur profole pic.. Dia reply, morning amd terus inform i psl berita sedih ni. So, i assumed dia removed sbb bersedih la. Terkejut psl berita ni, so i x amik port sgt la kan psl benda2 remeh. Hubby i cuba arrange flight utk balik kl asap, yg ada flight ptg ja. I plak keje, so x blh nk ziarah. Mlm dlm pkl 9pm baru smpt ziarah with my hubby. Nmpk la hubby i sedih n ralat sgt x dpt ziarah jenazah. Otw blk rumah hubby i ckp pompuan ni ada bg few sign dlm ig dia. Ada tagged hubby i dlm last post. Ayat pompuan ni lebih kurang mcm ni la. As usual, you're not around when i really need u. Uploaded just a few hours before she passed away. O ya.. Passed away sbb heart attack. Tiba2 saja. Blk dr kedai after having supper, otw blk rumah jln kaki sorang2, sesak nafas. Smpt called her hubby utk pick up dia. Dlm kereta meninggal dlm pangkuan suami dia. Mmg suddent death.
The next day, we bring all our kids ziarah kubur. Mlm tu i masuk keje. Then i teringat psl ig. I bukak ig dia. I mmg x follow each other. Dia cuba follow i, tp i yg x approved. Ig i cuma utk org2 yg rapat je dgn i. Bila i check her ig, omaigad..semuanya menjurus kepada luahan perasaan dia. Kisah cinta dia yg x kesampaian. Mmg menjurus kpd hubby i. Cuma last post ja dia tagged hubby i. Mmg ada hashtag yg merujuk kpd both of them. Maknanya apa yg tersirat dlm hati i selama ni, mengiyakan bahawa mmg ada sesuatu yg berlaku between both of them. I perati ja hubby i waktu melawat kubur, mmg hubby i menangis juga. Mungkin inilah kut yg org ckp, bercinta tidak semestinya memiliki. |
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Edited by adila39 at 27-11-2018 04:18 PM
hi farlis... since i baru habis baca and xboleh lelap...i jawab dulu eh.
Before that, i wish u well and I bet u a great wife and mum.
Sometimes, mmg susah kita nak terima hakikat...suami isteri tetap dua individu yg berbeza...akan tetap ada some sort a little secret. Tak kiralah laki atau wife. Kalau i jadi u pun i akan vulnerable..i yg belum apa apa pun rasa macam tu...lagi obvious and yet i sikit sebanyak faham sgt apa u rasa
Tapi kan farlis...dalam kes u, that woman passed away. Apa pun yg bermain kat minda u..she is still gone. Yes u akan tetap x puas hati. u akan tetap nak korek what is really going on. Tapi kadang, life is a choice...kita boleh tau apa outcome when we do this and that...will it change fact that something fishy pernah berlaku. Will u able to fast forward?
Sometimes, there are things better to be left unspoken... for good sake untuk kita carry on life kita.
Live for future..not backwards. Happy happy ok. protect ur happiness w family.
I bet u a very wise wife..way u put it..reaksi u still calm...i trust u boleh decide how u nak foresee benda ni. Nity nite
Still, silly me...i will still forgive that late lady...becoz when soal hati..its beyond control..tp yes kita boleh elak... but again, humans..none is perfect. Tak mati kita lupakan and maafkan. More or less we just being smart. Nak move on happily. |
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"There are days
I wake up and I pinch myself
You're with me, not someone else
And I am scared, yeah, I'm still scared
That it's all a dream
'Cause you still look perfect as days go by
Even the worst ones, you make me smile
I'd stop the world if it gave us time"
Innalillah to arwah. May Allah bless her soul.
Utk kita yg masih hidup, life goes on.
Farlis, sometimes kita x perlu tahu details.
X perlu dig for more info.
It is what it is
Kalau husband kata x ada apa2 antara mereka,
kita bljr la terima. Wpun payah nk terima.
Yg penting husband kita masih dgn kita.
Thats all that matter kan?
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Adila.. Actually i pun tanak korek. Enough la apa yg i tau. If i x korek pun, i nmpk dr reaksi my hubby. Yg pergi tetap pergi. Bila i dh luahkan apa yg tersimpan, i cuba many times, utk memaafkan. I hope hati i terus ikhlas utk memaafkan. Pray for me dear.
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Papun... Dia dh x da.. so apa masalahnya |
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Life must go on. Yup, no need to dig anymore. Past is pass. Nobody can changed something in the past. Sedikit sebanyak, i terkesan, hidup kita tiada siapa yg tau. I pun dh anggap dia asy best fren. Alfatihah, u"ll be missed by us. I still have my hsbnd. Now, i'll just give him some little space, dgr cerita dia. Betapa dia merindui arwah. But one thing he said, pemergian arwah membuatkan dia rasa nk spend more time with me, with our kids. Spy masa yg ada tidak disia2kan.
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Yup. Nothing matters. Cuma nk luahkan ja. Now, i feel much better.
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Yeah...i feel sad baca sbb i type yg i dont just baca i evaluate so i can know how u feel.
Yes, apa lagi yg boleh selain doa. I bet hubby you ada many kinds of feeling and hanya dia je tahu. Tapi kalau dia a true man he will redeem. So u tak payah risau.
Al fatihah pada arwah, semoga allah ampunkan dosanya. And kita jugak. And to you, insyallah you akan ok. Time will heal.
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aduhaiiii fobia nk baca kisah mcm ni....tkot terjadi kt diri sendri
bertabah dik...
laif mas go on.... |
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masing2 akan terima balasan
*biz partner
*anak angkat ibu arwah
*rapat dgn family arwah
the whole story mcm kuat impact somi farish dgn arwah
at the end somi u pulak claim sprt digunakan
tau tak somi u tu pandai manipulate keadaan
like i scratch your back i'll scrath yours
seluruh keluarga terkagum dgn somi u
knpa lepas 3 tahun baru rasa digunakan
dan arwah menyimpan rasa hingga je akhir nyawa
dan arwah pun terbuai dgn kelicikan somi u
biarlah ia terkubur bersama
somi u and the whole chapter
dimana ada peluang baik disitu dia menapak.
just saying..maaf dipinta.
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Assalammu'alaikum n selamat sejahtera.
Forgiveness - it takes work, it takes time but u can do it. Insya Allah. Ikhlaskan hati, tenangkan jiwa. Semoga Allah jadikan kita org yg beriman dan mudah memaafkan. |
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hi farlis,
dugaan u dengan hubby u memang banyak ye. kalau i jadi u... hmmm i tak sekuat u kot.
like u said, the past is pass.. so move on and never look back
yang ada di depan u sekarang ni... i harap u kuat untuk harungi hidup bersama dia
be strong! |
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farlis replied at 28-11-2018 11:02 AM
Yup. Nothing matters. Cuma nk luahkan ja. Now, i feel much better.
Good for u.. |
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Author |
Post time 28-11-2018 04:16 PM
From the mobile phone
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Edited by farlis at 28-11-2018 04:20 PM
rospinki replied at 28-11-2018 11:20 AM
masing2 akan terima balasan
*biz partner
*anak angkat ibu arwah
When it comes to bisnes matters, mcm2 hal la. Complicated bila family masuk campur. At one point, yg hubby i betul2 turn off, bila bapak pompuan ni ckp, kalau bkn sbb aku, duit aku bisnes ko x ke mana.. Yg dia frust, nobody back up dia. Pompuan tu pun dpt duit, hsbnd dia control, amik duit joli sakan. So, nekad utk back off & bergerak sendiri. Yup, mmg dia buat decision drastik. Semua terperanjat, but no turning back kekdahnya... Maybe sbb tindakan mengejut hubby i tu yg buat dia terpinga2 kut.
No need to say sorry dear.. Maybe ada betulnya pandangan u. I pn kdg2 x blh nmpk the whole story
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Author |
Post time 28-11-2018 04:17 PM
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Genkidesuka replied at 28-11-2018 11:22 AM
Assalammu'alaikum n selamat sejahtera.
Forgiveness - it takes work, it takes time but u can do it ...
Insya Allah. I will. |
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Author |
Post time 28-11-2018 04:22 PM
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Iris. replied at 28-11-2018 11:36 AM
hi farlis,
dugaan u dengan hubby u memang banyak ye. kalau i jadi u... hmmm i tak sekuat u kot.
Yg dpn mata ni pun belum tau mcm mana ending cerita dia kan.. Yup, kena keep strong.. |
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Author |
Post time 28-11-2018 04:23 PM
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kiyudi replied at 28-11-2018 11:11 AM
aduhaiiii fobia nk baca kisah mcm ni....tkot terjadi kt diri sendri
bertabah dik...
Mcm citer titanic plak..
Tingat lagu celine dion |
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wife instinct is always right |
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Itu yang ramai tercerai......kheen?
Terlalu ramai yang terbawak bawak dgn dukungan instinct.....
Tahukah kau salah satu lorongan terbesar godaan syaitan itu adalah melalui golongan hawa?
[youtube]2IUp88ZoaZk[/youtube]
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Kau sendiri...cash back apa yang kau dapat sekarang?
hukhukhukhuk
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Category: Cinta & Perhubungan
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