Me vs Older Guy

anyclassything

Hello hello hello

direct to the point..

Tahun lepas, I ada terkenal someone. I like his way, and we could say we're attracted to each other.
The point is.. He's quite much older than me (eventhough dia tak nampak setua umurnya pun hehe )

Jarak tahun beza between me and dia is 22 years

Btw I am 27 years old, single lady (as if tak pernah kahwin) and currently working and menetap in kl.

And dia pulak, dah 49 this year. Dia pun sama, single tak pernah kahwin, bujang terlajaklah org kata kan.. (confirmed single, I dah check fact beribu juta kali hehe)

Mula-mula I macam sembang biasa je dengan dia, I don't know why makin kenal actually banyak interests and hobbies yang kita share actually.

And honestly I don't feel the age gap between us pun, bila kita sit down and bersembang ke apa.. Tak tahulah dia terror berlakon muda ke apa kan, the way dia texting pon very civilise takdelah bahasa-bahasa rempit ke apa, and he's quite updated with so many things kalah I yg muda ni so I am fine with that.  

Since we're both single, I layankan je jumpa sembang ke apa.

Tapi lama-lama, dah start feeling pulak and he admits it.

I pun suka and selesa je dengan dia.. Tapi bila openly terus terang about his feeling and he started to talk about our future tu I rasa nervous and anxious pulak.

Bukan sebab age gap issue ke apa, tapi I akan terfikir dia ni dah lama single, could he commit to relationship? What if he tak boleh.. sebab dah biasa have this kind of freedom which is not in relationship etc.

I faham lah kan org dah lama membujang of course dah mcm2 girls kenal, date sana date sini. I tak mau la once we're together dia tetibe rasa cam nak keluar dengan girl sana sini lepak ke apa as if dia masih single

Lagi satu issue yang dia sibuk utara kat I is, boleh ke my parents accept him. Dia macam a bit insecure about it.

Then I pikir balik umur my mum 52, my dad 53. Alamak... Dah jadi macam member-member parents I la pulak.

I okay dengan dia, dia nampak muda je. Cuma dia insecure lebih and mcm hari-hari duk raise the issue kat I. Lama-lama I plak terfikir camne nak temukan dia dgn my parents nanti.. Agak2 awkward tak.. hahaha

I know my parents, my parents  sporting and cool je sebenarnya. Even I tak bgtau lg kat my parents pasal dia


So saya disini dengan merendah diri, menyembah ratu anyone yg having this kind of relationship with huge age gap differences, maybe ada sedikit nasihat or tamparan nasihat. Hahaha Iols terima je semua dengan hati terbuka. I ada gak la tanya-tanya rakan sebaya, tapi macam takleh pakai sgt je nasihat dorg. hahaha so akak masuk porum la request nasihat outsiders

Tolong sis yang agak celaru ni ya,
terima kasih, muacks!

besi_kelabu

ada orang tu gap usia 24 tahun ok je kawin..siap preggy dah bini dia..

munchkin

Ok je u. Kawan i dulu kawan ngan laki tua. 15 yrs older. Mak pak tak nak terima. Beza umur mil ngan laki mcm you lah. Depa kawin lari. Masa dapat anak first pak dia pergi tengok kat hospital. Mak dia tak nak tengok langsung cucu. Pak dia bawak balik cucu. Mak dia tegok terus sayang. Hujung2 kawan i sampai sekarang tak boleh keluar rumah. Mil tu sayang sangat ngan menantu. Yelah org nya baik.

Kalau parents you sporting cuba you try tanya dulu. Macam kawan i tanya pun dah awal reject. Laki tu pun actually duda.

Age tu number je. Asalkan baik stabil sudah.

tiramisuu

Tanya la apa expectation dia dlm marriage. Apa deal breaker, apa yg dia blh compromise, apa yg dia x kn compromise.So dr situ ko dpt clue

Pasal parent tu,  x tau la ko rapat ke tp tgh sembang2 santai, ko blh bukak cte psl older guy ni versi tu cte kawan ko. Ko ckp la kawan ko tu takut nk bgthu parent . So dr situ ko tau response mak ko..

dua_chzy

Ok je. Aiol pon if nak menikoh lagi target carik ummah 40an yang baik, secure, matang dah hidopnya stabil.

dokupangg

My uncle who is around your friend’s age baru je kawin with my new aunt who is around your age, a year ago. They both were married la before, and their exes pun dah ada life dorg sendiri. My aunt tu mmg takde anak but my uncle ada sorg anak yg muda sikit je from my aunt tu. So far dorg nampak happy, cuma kadang my aunt tu mcm nak perhatian lebih sikit especially when my uncle is around his daughter. Hahah! I rasa ramai je yg kawin dgn perbezaan umur yg ketara ni but it depends on personality, really.

farlis

Since both of u are single mingle, shouldn't be a problem..
Age is just a number..

anyclassything

besi_kelabu replied at 13-1-2019 08:43 PM
ada orang tu gap usia 24 tahun ok je kawin..siap preggy dah bini dia..

Kann.. I siap google celebrity yg kahwin yg beza umur jauh2 bg dia tengok hahahaha

anyclassything

munchkin replied at 13-1-2019 09:09 PM
Ok je u. Kawan i dulu kawan ngan laki tua. 15 yrs older. Mak pak tak nak terima. Beza umur mil ngan  ...

Kannn.. I pun pikir sama. Dah sama serasi, sama single.. takde isu lah for me. Cuma harap2 dia ready la utk fully commited since dia dah lama solo hahaha

anyclassything

tiramisuu replied at 13-1-2019 10:01 PM
Tanya la apa expectation dia dlm marriage. Apa deal breaker, apa yg dia blh compromise, apa yg dia x ...

Hmmm.. dah pnh jgk la bincang psl tu sikit2

Dr cara dia cakap tu, mcm jenis loyal jugak dia ni. Cuma selalu dipermainkan perempuan je dia ni. And jenis kalau rasa tak serasi dia xnak teruskan dgn someone. He rather be single dr teruskan dgn org yg x serasi kononnya..

I xtau la if dia pandai tipu I.. hmm

So far I dgn dia okay..
Dia pun jenis quite patient deal dgn I (setakat ni)

Cuma adalah perangai ocd nya I tgk. Haha

anyclassything

dua_chzy replied at 13-1-2019 10:11 PM
Ok je. Aiol pon if nak menikoh lagi target carik ummah 40an yang baik, secure, matang dah hidopnya s ...

Okay je kan sistur..
kawan2 I ckp dah umur2 bapak tu. Tp manade mcm bapak2. Segak je lg dimata I kehkeh

dua_chzy

anyclassything replied at 13-1-2019 10:58 PM
Okay je kan sistur..
kawan2 I ckp dah umur2 bapak tu. Tp manade mcm bapak2. Segak je lg dimata I ...

"Umur bapak2 pala bapak ngkorang la" - if kengkawan sister tu kengkawan akak, akak dah sound dengan ayat sebegini dek.

Ai personally feel lelaki umo 40 lagik sedap dari jantan umo 20. Ex ai pon masuk usia 30 ini ai nampak hensem sangat banding zaman 24 tahun dolu. Lelaki makin kertu makin tasty ok.

dua_chzy

anyclassything replied at 13-1-2019 10:57 PM
Hmmm.. dah pnh jgk la bincang psl tu sikit2

Dr cara dia cakap tu, mcm jenis loyal jugak dia ni. ...

Sis,

You may want to study him a little bit more before proceeding to the next stage.

Just saying.

Jujur akak tak suka lelaki insecure. Deyol are very clingy and boleh buat kita sesak nafas nak layan. Hati2.

Pronya, ummah clingy ni memang loyal setia habis takkan curang la.

Kontranya...sis boleh rasa sundri dalam relationship ini bila dah lama dengan dia.

All the best though! Hopefully, you two can work your differences out.

anyclassything

dokupangg replied at 13-1-2019 10:20 PM
My uncle who is around your friend’s age baru je kawin with my new aunt who is around your age, a y ...

I see.. nice sharing!

Since dia bujang bukan duda, takde lah isu nak attention dari dia kot hehe

Cuma haritu dia ada cakap if dah kahwin dia mintak 1,2 days off in a week to balik kg tengok his mom since his mom kat kg sorg2.

Yg tu I have no issue. I cakap it’s okay, kalau every weekend balik jenguk mak dia pun I okay je since my parents kat kl je.

Tp I dah pesan awal2 dia tak boleh keluar dgn girls ke kawan perempuan berdua ke apa as if dia single mingle, and he wants the same from me too.. sebab kita dua sama2 single and of course sama2 ramai member and quite socialize due to works ke apa kan.

Tp ada mutual understanding, he gave me my space.. Kalau I have plans dgn my close friends.. travel ke apa.
But he insists me to join him for every activities sbb dia ckp he’s been single all these while so mmg dia nak I join if possible.

So far sounds okay laaa.. as for now

anyclassything

dua_chzy replied at 13-1-2019 11:05 PM
Sis,

You may want to study him a little bit more before proceeding to the next stage.

Yeah tu la sis.. let’s see how whether I can take it or not.

Sebab mmg ada bunga2 clingy I tgk setakat ni.

Contoh when I kena outstation ke jalan dgn kawan2 (perempuan je pun) dia mcm nak attention lebih sikit.

Tp sebab still x melampau, so I still boleh terima la.

And ada jgk when I mentioned, I nak pegi sini la dgn my friends(girl) and he insists nak ikut.. padahal tu plan all girls.. So I mcm ala..

Tapi maybe kena tau how to tackle him in this matter

Hopefully lah.. kalau rimas sgt..
thank you, next! Hahaha

anyclassything

farlis replied at 13-1-2019 10:35 PM
Since both of u are single mingle, shouldn't be a problem..
Age is just a number..

Yeah.. takde halangan pun. As sama single mingle, and serasi kan.

Cuma tu lah, maybe kena observe for quite sometimes. Jgn terburu2 nak ke next stage huhu thanks

munchkin

anyclassything replied at 13-1-2019 10:51 PM
Kannn.. I pun pikir sama. Dah sama serasi, sama single.. takde isu lah for me. Cuma harap2 dia rea ...

InsyaAllah apa keputusan i doakan yg terbaik buat you

onexox97

Mesti kawen grand nanti sebab dia banyak dah menyimpan duit
Jangan nanti ajak kawen mula xcukup duit
Yg tu kena cek jugak
Laki xmau komitmen makin banyak leni

anyclassything

onexox97 replied at 14-1-2019 12:23 AM
Mesti kawen grand nanti sebab dia banyak dah menyimpan duit
Jangan nanti ajak kawen mula xcukup dui ...

I x mengimpikan grand pun uols.
Tunang pun kalau boleh xpayah pun xpe. Penat je banyak2 majlis.

Tp depends la kat org tua tu hahaha
Tp I x pressure dia utk kahwin pun.
Sbb I pun still cool je kalau tak kahwin lg. Best kot single ni hahaha

noraidil_06

anyclassything replied at 13-1-2019 11:15 PM
Yeah tu la sis.. let’s see how whether I can take it or not.

Sebab mmg ada bunga2 clingy I tg ...

Sllnye org tua ni, kite kena bg notis awal.
Make him priority, afterall u nak kawin dgn dia kan?
Say u wanna keluar dgn girls weeeknd, tell him earlier. Spend time with him first.
Kawan penting, tp kwn kalau kawin esok pun, tinggal kite gak.
So try to balance thing