Post time 30-5-2020 11:55 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
i ada simptopm anxiety..tp ye ke i anxiety. i rasa mcm x percaya dgn result Dass test tu. dh 3 hari x boleh tido.. rasa gelisah... rasa mcm benci kt diri sndri.. im a bad mom..bad person..bad wife..
i rasa gemuruh sgt lepas boss panggil meeting scra tiba2 2 hari lepas...i cuba kawal emosi dgn g jalan2 tp masih rasa gelisah dan tak boleh tidur..asyik dahaga walau minum byk kali...
I ada Agarophobia and Panic Disorder.
Dah hampir 10 tahun makan ubat. Tak boleh berhenti. Ada sekali I berhenti tanpa rujuk doktor, berhenti selama setahun. Tiba-tiba ada symptom balik. Lebih teruk dari asal. Jumpa doktor semula, doktor suruh makan ubat balik. Tapi, ubat tu macam ambil masa nak jalan pulak, dan side effect dari ubat lagi teruk. Sampai timbul suicidal thought. Memang menyeramkan...serik nak berhenti makan ubat tanpa rujuk doktor.
Agarophobia takut nak keluar rumah. I takut nak keluar rumah sebab bila I keluar rumah jer terus macam I jadi hypersensitive kat bunyi sekitar. Semua mcm nak serang I. Lepas tu I kena panic attack. Kalau I kena panic attack kat public,memalukan jer ...
Kena lepas beranak anak pertama. Lepas beranak jer, I jadi macam tak tentu arah. Dada ketat,jantung laju, rasa macam nak mati. Masa tu terus I jerit panggil nurse bagi tau I tak bole bernafas, lintang pukang satu wad cari doktor.
Tak tahulah apa punca dia. Pengalaman paling menyeramkan lah dalam hidup I.
tidak apa manja.
untuk a proper diagnosis, perlu kepada a good psychiatrist. kerana banyak symptoms boleh berlapis2 dan banyak juga individu yang ada more than 1 diagnosis. contoh, ada dua2 depression dan anxiety; dan pelbagai lagi.
dalam area2 seperti ADHD etc, yang lebih sukar ini, bukan mudah untuk dikenal pasti. ada orang, dia quiet sahaja, tapi ada ADHD, ada orang nampak sangat normal, tetapi ada Aspergers etc.
tapi awak saya rasa, bersungguh dalam melalui dan mendalami penyakit sendiri; tiada orang yang lebih mendapat benefit dari usaha awak ini selain dari awak sendiri.
Author|Post time 6-6-2020 11:03 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
ipes2 replied at 6-6-2020 08:10 AM
tidak apa manja.
untuk a proper diagnosis, perlu kepada a good psychiatrist. kerana banyak sympto ...
Thanx Doc. I sibuk2 share kat sini pun sbb Doc ade jgk nk melayan. Kalau x bosan pulak ckp sorg2 haha.
Skali skala nk tahu jgk misteri yg selama ni m'belenggu hidup i. Serius actually since highschool i sedar ade something really wrong with me but had no idea what it was, even dulu pernah bc simptom2 psl depression tp just a few je yg i ade. It was just general info je nothing spesific. But how was i to know?
Pokok pangkal kalau u all rs ade yg x kena dgn diri sendiri, x happy or miserable, going nowhere in life please la jumpe pakar. T sooner t better.
Tp ade je org yg carrier hebat ade family bahagia, kwn2 dah tua baru kena diagnose. Xpe, sbb bleh manage build a good life for yourself. Problem is when u just can' t do it, even t simplest things in life.
No, saya sebenarnya bukan melayan, tetapi saya ingin tahu. Saya lalui ramai pesakit yang ada depression, tetapi saya sendiri really tidak faham hal ini. what happened in high school, if you dont mind me ask?
the people yang developed depression semasa berusia itu mengalami depression of the elderly; berbeza sedikit. tell us more of you.
Post time 13-6-2020 11:34 AMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
manjalara_01 replied at 6-6-2020 11:03 PM
Thanx Doc. I sibuk2 share kat sini pun sbb Doc ade jgk nk melayan. Kalau x bosan pulak ckp sorg2 h ...
Hopefully u are getting better. Share more pls... i pun ada experience gini but for some reason bila ingat anak kita, we get all the strength balik.. mybe mine hanya biasa biasa je.. like normal stress di tempat kerja etc..
Author|Post time 14-6-2020 12:46 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
ipes2 replied at 13-6-2020 04:47 AM
No, saya sebenarnya bukan melayan, tetapi saya ingin tahu. Saya lalui ramai pesakit yang ada depre ...
Melayan maksudnya somebody to interact with, thats what i meant.
My category Dr same mcm kisah2 org dewasa lain yg i bc mmg ade D & A ni sejak kecil, tp bile dewasa baru didiagnose, baru dpt rawatan. Dr this type is jenis yg you have to hadap with the rest of your life, i mean my life haaa.
Nk pendekkan cerita masa highschool dulu i sedar yg in a weird but real way i x same dgn budak2 lain. In a bad way not good. So much of social awkwardness, not fitting in, just t odd one out ..rs kosong xde perasaan emosi dlm jiwa ni. Otak pun rs kosong. Law of attraction bile dlm kosong u attract kosongness. Bile kat dlm ade perasaan kasih sayang u will attract lol love x gitu?
Form 4 dah start suicidel thoughts form 5 too depress didn't care about anything even spm. Tu yg hampir lingkup tu.
Author|Post time 14-6-2020 12:56 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
Edited by manjalara_01 at 14-6-2020 01:22 PM
adila39 replied at 13-6-2020 11:34 AM
Hopefully u are getting better. Share more pls... i pun ada experience gini but for some reason bi ...
Harap u bc posting i yg kat atas tu for Dr Ipes. Then continue here .
Baru few days ago i read ade somebody reply youtube video about depression and baru la i paham ape maksud kekosongan emptiness, numbness yg slalu dikaitkan Depression as well as for me mdd.
Dari segi emosi depression causes a person to suffer from Emotional Disconection with oneself. Its like for me i'm unable to feel perasaan kasih sayang tu terhadap diri sendiri.
Boom!!!!..
So only now i understand. Nope xde explanation about this from my psychiatrist or therapist...
Frust sgt masa therapy session tu nk tahu psl emtytiness ni. Penat explain " knp i x rs anything when this2 terjadi??" Shouldn't i feel something?Anything?? Happy? " My therapist kata "u need to focus on the positive..don't pay too much attention pd emptiness tu, it doesn't help"...
Post time 14-6-2020 05:25 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
Edited by adila39 at 14-6-2020 05:30 PM
manjalara_01 replied at 14-6-2020 12:56 PM
Harap u bc posting i yg kat atas tu for Dr Ipes. Then continue here .
Baru few days ago i re ...
Hi manja... lunch apa tadi? anyway i baca and i baca dari page 1 sbb i try nak faham... unfortunately i bukanlah psychologist and I try my best not to being judgmental or sesedap rasa bagi opinion what to do.. sbb i think only u yg lalui and only u yg faham best.. how to tackle ur ownself.
I as outsider hanya boleh tulis. u can do it sista! fight it
I nak share some of the common experience..emptiness.. pelik.. mmg pelik sbb satu situasi yg sukar nak explain. Kadang org ketawa terbahak bahak pun rasa kosong bila kat rumah sorang2.. or dia ada semuanya kerjaya dan family tp banyak jgk kita dgr how lonely life for them can be.
I dont know and i think i dont deserve nak say to much, kdg bila kita share something dgn org.. bila reply depa.. oh dont worry.. oh its normal... automatically kita akan rasa annoying... cuz obviously they dont understand and assume semua perkara is okay and no big deal...truth kita x expect dia faham pun.. cukup just go along je and just listen.. acted like faham pun cukup membantu
Emptiness dari kaca mata I, when kita achieved something like naik pangkat or etc.. nak share good news with someone yg mybe to us most important... kita xde... so kita termanggu manggu la.. nak share mood happy tu..end up if its me.. i just beli ice cream and makan kat memana. just enjoying it.
Emptiness can also relatekan when..u don't have anyone to say i love u, mybe.. or hearing.. i love u.. or a simple gesture like dont wory, im here... so it can be our partners, spouses or even parents or best friends... all human being need that sort of support feelings.. like we have someone we can rely on.. we can be ourselves...or we can just do or say what ever we like.. tanpa risau apa apa.. simply be us.
Last few nites... lepas isyak, i cry so hard.. but i xd doa apa apa.. i just cry mybe pengaruh tgk movie braveheart kot... yes i cry like a little girl.. sobbing and miserable..yet so clueless. I can only recommend kat u.. doalah.. ask from Him.
Specialnya kita manusia ni, ada suara kecil dalam hati kita, yg kadang akan bisik dont stop dont give up. Mybe harapan kita utk happy archive apa kita nak.. one fine day we will get it. I dont know when and how or will it be?.. but so long we still alive hopeful is the only way to keep us moving.
So manja, continue give us knowledge on this okay and... why not try new tricks.. when u write something... together with song yg u suka.... u close ur eyes kejap then likewise... write from ur heart.
Oh that winona ryder.. tu suka betul dia tu..just do what ever u like! imagine.. that birds.. fly high.. just do what ever.. so what.. people say this and that.
ya saya boleh faham itu. so ada some issues semasa teenagers ya. tough itu. tetapi ramai juga yang harung juga dan function juga di dalam society dengan succesful. ada yang dysthymic sahaja, ada yang hanya emotional imbalance. ada macam2. ada yang really depressed tetapi as you know, ramai sahaja yang besar ke hari tua dengan tanpa major issues.
sentence pasal attarction etc itu saya tidak faham
Author|Post time 26-6-2020 03:38 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
Edited by manjalara_01 at 26-6-2020 03:49 PM
ipes2 replied at 19-6-2020 12:55 AM
ya saya boleh faham itu. so ada some issues semasa teenagers ya. tough itu. tetapi ramai juga yang ...
Sorry lambat balas. Lately x brape sihat..
Actually Doc yg psl thread ADHD tu i blum ready nk bukak. Tp lepas i bc 2 stories, walapun they all didiagnose & dpt treatment semasa dibangku skolah, struggle tetap struggle. Kalau u all nk i bleh bukak thread tu.
Laki ni umur 41 baru la he got to have a stable life. Lepas kes substance abuse etc semua. This woman pulak umr 36. Also dpt treatment sejak zaman skolah.
So for me yg dah 30++ ni hahaha complete trainreck. Cth keje tetap pun x pernah dpt capai. Secara logiknya just don't expect much progress from me any time soon.i baru last year didiagnose.
hahahah takde manja, cuma i penuh perasaan je reply you with hope, u akan feel better just nak u tau semua org akan lalui fasa yg lebih kurang je. Cuma diagnosed atau tidak ..for me mybe sgt common. Kadang org yang takde apa apa pun biul jugak at times ...u know just follow d flow..sbb kita ni bukan robot ada mcm2 mood.
Anyway now mood tanam pokok...jom ke benang hidroponik. Nnt i nak beli lagi ni...u pun okeh.
Author|Post time 29-6-2020 11:38 AMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
adila39 replied at 26-6-2020 04:26 PM
Hi manja...
hahahah takde manja, cuma i penuh perasaan je reply you with hope, u akan feel bett ...
I see ingatkan u ade mental disorder thats why u buat sesi luahan kat sini. So others can relate or just for tambah ilmu about D & A.
i was thinking if u xde than maybe bleh bukak thread kat masalah peribadi or mana2 yg sesuai kot. Just my 2 cents.
As 4 me i pun blur2 jgk. At first x pasti nk bukak ke x thread ni. Maklum la kisah i bukan versi yg inspirational. Tp bile i bc kisah2 org lain yg also struggle with mental illness i should copy cat hehe.
Not sekadar luahan tp where it is safe. Yea la kadang story kat org pun bleh jd lg teruk. People gosip, say u mengada2 la , all the nasties. X semua yg ade reliable support system when it comes to mental illness yea x?
Sbb x byk tempat yg people with mental illness can do so especially bile xde sumber kewangan nk dpt service therapist, ubat2 etc. All is money nowadays.
And i tgh hadap masalah sakit fizikal yg berlanjutan. This itself melemahkan semangat & is making my D & A worst. Tp xyah la cite sini.
U enjoy ur hidroponic dulu yea..i'll join when i feel better..
Post time 21-5-2020 12:23 PM
Author
Post time 6-6-2020 08:10 AM
Post time 13-6-2020 11:30 AM
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