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n nak tambah lg..jiwa dan ati pompuan mmgle sensitif..
u dah penah kawin sure u tau..tambahan jiwa gadis remaja mcm ur daughter..
so jgn biarkan anak2 tlalu bdikari dan u pula akan lalai dgn tanggungjwb sbg ayah nanti.. |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 1-4-2009 15:19 
kalau pakcik tukarkan sekolah balik semula kat KL.. tak menjanjikan pun yg arissa tak kena buli kan? kalau nanti kena lagi.. pakcik nak kena tukar sekolah lagi ker....
betul pakcik..
tapi at least..dia kat depan mata you..
she can tell you everything yg berlaku kat dia semasa di sekolah directly kat you..
please faham perasaan dia.. i rasa dia tertekan dgn sikap kawan2 dia..
bukannya maksud putu boarding school tu tak bagus.. cuma.. tak sama macam kita dulu2...
kalau putu le.... baik le putu keluarkan dia dari situ dan hantar di sekolah lain... |
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i bukan nak condemn u ke ape..
just bg pendpt..
sementara u masih ade diorg jagala elok2..
anak2 perlukan perhatian dan bimbingan..especially anak pompuan
kalau umur panjang bleh tgk diorg mbesar kan...
kalau x?sesalan 2 akan mhantui seumur hidup...
mesti u xnak tjadi benda2 cam2..nauzubillah..
it just matter of time..
masa yg bkualiti utk diorg..
esok2 bila diorg dah keje n kawin i'm sure u xkan dpt nak bg perhatian mcm skang kan
so ingatla..masa yg blalu xkan kembali lg...
gunakan sebaik yg mungkin.. |
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pak itam... i feel for you. you're torn in between, u want arissa to learn to stand on her own two feet, to be a strong woman with distinguished characters.
i think what you can do now is be truthful to her, as much as you can. if you don't mind, what happened to her mother? i mean, is she still alive? maybe last time you can get away with "biarlah, just ignore them" tapi kekadang budak budak ni lagi you diam, lagi diorang menjadi jadi. is she facing this kind of problem with only a few people from school or does everybody seems to be against her? i mean, does she have more friends than foe over there?if she have more of the latter, considering this is only her first year in that school, i would advice you to take her out from there. it would be harmfull to her, to live in that kind of environment with people her age (or more) harrassing her like that. it will be damaging to her emotional and mental development in the long run kalau terus terusan dia dicaci maki begini.
tak bermakna if she stays with you, or u taking her out from that school would mean admitting defeat, or that she wont grow up to be a strong girl, it may be for the better. it may not be wise to wait it out, to see if she could withstand the torture.
if you can afford it, i suggest you put her in a private school or international school, where the students are more of accepting and open minded. on top of that, youcan keep an eye on her as she will be with you.
this is my personal opinion. in meantime, banyaklah bersabar.
[ Last edited by gwenrocks at 1-4-2009 15:57 ] |
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rasanya elok cari sekolah lain yg lbh dkt dgn pak itam... sekurang2nya dekat dgn pak itam dan pak itam blh monitar dia. Pasal sifat jati diri tu, insya allah ianya akan ada dlm diri kelak but it's takes time. Skg ni dah msk bln 4, dia mcm tu, mcm mana dia nak survive nak teruskan kehidupan dia kat situ lg... takut jiwa dia akan tertekan dgn kata2 yg x terjangkau dek akal fikiran dia lg. Bila dah kat rumah, pak itam blh monitar dia, dgr masaalah dia direct dr mulut & not from a letter, at least can discuss dgn dia masa tu gak....cuba selami hati dia tika ini .... |
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Originally posted by KIM.mafia at 1-4-2009 15:51 
i bukan nak condemn u ke ape..
just bg pendpt..
sementara u masih ade diorg jagala elok2..
anak2 perlukan perhatian dan bimbingan..especially anak pompuan
kalau umur panjang bleh tgk diorg mb ...
guys... Arissa pergi menuntut ilmu, pakcik tak ngelect dia.. i'm not throwing her out of my life... bukan sekadar surat2 pakcik pada dia.. pakcik call cikgu dia leh kata every alternate day... sampai pakcik pun wisau.. kut kut nanti cikgu dia igt pakcik nak ejas cikgu tu pulak... sampaikan cikgu pun kata "ohh dia ok.. jgn bimbang" |
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Reply #1 pak_itam's post
 siannya kat adik..
kalo umah sy dekat ngan skolah dia, rasa nk gi tulun jenguk tetiap ari... |
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Originally posted by gwenrocks at 1-4-2009 15:55
pak itam... i feel for you. you're torn in between, u want arissa to learn to stand on her own two feet, to be a strong woman with distinguished characters.
i think what you can do now is be ...
Thanks gwen on your words... fyi.. pakcik bercerai hidup masa Arissa standard 1.. selepas kelahiran Anissa. both pakcik n x agreed to have "all or nothing" ... and pakcik choose to have both my kids.. so .. my x balik ke negara asal dia..since then... both arissa n anissa had never met with their mom. pakcik appoint one friend to become their mom over the phone.. and i am the one who replied surat2 dorang pada mak dorang...
Also, arissa from international primary school. from what she told pakcik, one or two jer yg kind of prob ni.. due to SI nyer case... gara2 Arissa dapat banyak bunga n gift masa valentine that day.. cikgu2 dia suka dia.. kawan2 pun, senior pun.. ada yg sampai temankan dia keluar on outing day... masalahnya.. tak tahu dengan jelas siapa punya angkara... arissa suspect budak dorm dia juga, sebab budak2 dorm tu jer yg penah access personal file dan album gambar dia.. |
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Balas #28 pak_itam\ catat
i x ckp u x jlnkan tjwb u..
cuma kalau bleh biarla dia ade masa banyak dgn u..itu jer...
u x sian kat dia ke?
dahla mak dia xde..dia ade u sorang jer..
tmpt dia nak ngadu n bmanja |
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Originally posted by tripleb at 1-4-2009 16:08
siannya kat adik..
kalo umah sy dekat ngan skolah dia, rasa nk gi tulun jenguk tetiap ari...
ko laki ke pompuan tripled... kalau pompuan takper laa nak p tgk.. kalu laki aku tak cayer... tak leh harap budak2 zaman NAJIB nih.. kikikikikiki |
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Balas #30 pak_itam\ catat
i rasa ni kes budak2 yg jeles dgn anak u ni...
2 psl diorg buat mcm2 kat dia...
sian betul |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 1-4-2009 13:23 
Assalammualaikum wbt dan salam sejahtera kepada forumers yg dihormati..
I got this letter from my daughter who now in boarding school. Content of the said letter: -
________________________ ...
salam Pakcik,
Which SBP she's in nih.. macam pelik pula. I'm an x-sbp and we normally tak terkejut dengan mixed/pan-asian lookers. And we also don't make an issue if a friend says 'i luv u' to her abah. By standard, SBP studs come from all over malaysia and whether u are Kl'ians or not doesn't really bother. If these really happened, then what's happening to SBPs?
Reading Anissa's letter, she sounded matured and sensible enuf. I hope packcik will double check each detail/story she wrote. kesiannyaa.. ni dah tahap buli luar biasa nih. Maybe talk to her closest frens and teachers. Bottom line, figure out what actually did happen. |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 1-4-2009 14:51 
pakcik heran jugak, zaman pakcik dulu, takder laa schoolmate pakcik set set buas camni...bila dia dapat offer belajar kat situ, pakcik setuju.. arissa pun setuju.. pakcik nak dia belajar2 berdika ...
Life i not just about passing exam pak itam. its also about being loved, needed and having a self esteem. |
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Balas #30 pak_itam\ catat
i see... maknanya, both of them tak tau who the real mom is n anggap orang yang u appoint tu is their mom? susah jugak tu.... very complicated.
i think kalau setakat sorang dua yang buat gitu pada dia, tak jadi kudis la...wat u can do now is prepare her to be stonger emotionally and mentally. her main problem (based on wat i get from the letter) is she doesn't know what to answer them back. basically she just wants to know somethiing concrete to tell them off.
is it possible for you to have a sit down with her and tell the truth about her mom n maybe she can understand/appreciate the situation better? or do u think it's too soon? - in which case you need to come up with a really strong comeback of your own so she can tell these people off.
if she is strong enuf, the best thing to do may be to keep ignoring them sampai diorang bosan. the other thing u can teach her to do is, be nice to them but not in a demeaning kind of way, but in a "keep ur frens close and ur enemy closer" if you get wat i mean....
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Balas #34 pak_itam\ catat
of course la dia manja dgn u..
dah u jer yg diorg ade...
so make sure kasih sayang 2 akan bkekalan sampai bila2..
psl u nyer x-gf pulak...i rasa kalau dia nak kawin dgn u pun kenala dia terima u ni single parent kan,,
of course u kena manjakan diorg sbb dah tgjwb u beri perhatian pd diorg..org hanya buleh bckp..u jer yg dpt rasa apa sebenarnya yg blaku
so make sure new gf bleh terima u seadanyala kan
dan juga yg paling penting anak2 u bleh terima org baru dlm hidup diorg
gd luck bro |
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Originally posted by mom2003 at 1-4-2009 16:24
salam Pakcik,
Which SBP she's in nih.. macam pelik pula. I'm an x-sbp and we normally tak terkejut dengan mixed/pan-asian lookers. And we also don't make an issue if a friend says 'i luv ...
Dear Mom2003, appreciate your comment.
Masa mula mula dia kena buli, bag sekolah dia kena campak lam kolam ikan, pakcik dah turun padang, wat formal complaint kat sekolah dia (one of MRSM kat utara). Lepas tu tersebarnyer arissa wat report kat pakcik dan pakcik report ngan pihak sekolah.. ader laaa surat2 layang kata "balik dok lam kain bapak kau"... pastu senyap lama jugak.. sebulan macam tu... pastu arissa macam happy, selalu dapat surat wangi2 katanya... pakcik pesan dia... surat wangi ker busuk ker... diri kena jaga.. study takmo terbabas... surat2 cinta senior kasi dia smer pakcik baca.. ada yg tampil jumpa pakcik...bekenalan.. kalau ada apa2 dorang akan tgk kan arissa.. so pakcik jgn bimbang.... skang timbul balik...
arissa memang tak tahu local vulgar words... 'bodoh' dia tahu laa
pakcik pun dari boarding school... takder jugak spesis perkauman tak tentu nii... |
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Originally posted by gwenrocks at 1-4-2009 16:27
i see... maknanya, both of them tak tau who the real mom is n anggap orang yang u appoint tu is their mom? susah jugak tu.... very complicated.
i think kalau setakat sorang dua yang buat git ...
"keep ur frens close and ur enemy closer" this is what exactly i told her on her 1st day kat secondary school...reason being i created someone to be their mom is because.. i tak nak dorang rasa terkurang apa2 dan rasa dorang tak normal macam budak2 lain yg ada both mummy n daddy at the same time... |
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Post time 1-4-2009 03:34 PM
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