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Author: Mariah91

Rasa tak selesa dengan hubungan suami isteri.

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Post time 24-4-2014 07:18 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 07:10 PM
He knows about my experince dengan lelaki. Sebab itu lah rasanya suami boleh sabar. Suami memang s ...

istilah yg betul..meluahkan perasaan..apa yg terbuku dihati..that y...somi cuma perlu dgr sampai abis.....bgtau dia....dia paham ke tak..??  kalau dia terus cakap dia paham..mmg la dia tak paham....bg dia masa..utk fikir dan pahami....

skrg ni..somi cuma rasa dia paham..tp actually dia tak betul2 memahami situasi  dan apa yg ko fikir dan rasa....that y dia mengharapkan something yg ko tak leh bg skrg nie.....

InsyaAllah..bila ko ada anak lelaki nanti....ko takkan dpt menafikan naluri keibuan ko...mungkin ko kena lawan...attitude yg dah sebati dgn ko....tunggu la..nt....mungkin anak tu nt amat bijak mengubah pemikiran ibu dia..InsyaAllah...

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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 07:19 PM | Show all posts
munchkin posted on 24-4-2014 03:16 AM
Everybody is born different. Dont worry.

Try yoga. Dulu i amik class. Lepas belajar say 1-2 mon ...

From the very beginning, you always support me. Thank you so much. Instead of marah-marah I, you tried to go within the core of the subject matter. Thank you. I'll consider whatever tips you gave me. You gave me solution rather than jduging me. I like the idea that we are all born with different traits and states. I memang banyak kelemahan, yet you tegur kelemahan I dengan gentle approach. Thank you. May Allah bless you with happy life till the end road
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Post time 24-4-2014 07:30 PM | Show all posts
You should go see the expert.u have inner iself issue.do you pray daily even?i think u should start think about live in hereafter.living in this world is not about u only.
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 07:33 PM | Show all posts
cekenit posted on 24-4-2014 07:30 PM
You should go see the expert.u have inner iself issue.do you pray daily even?i think u should start  ...

Thanks for the suggestion. Much appreciated
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Post time 24-4-2014 07:33 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Setakat jatuh cinta syarat tak kuat kalau nak dirikan rumahtangga.

Honestly... Masa mula2 kawen tu betul2 dah bersedia atau sekadar nak memenuhi tuntutan jatuh cinta tu

Kawen ni bukan  perlumbaan nak ukur ego sapa lebih tinggi. Kalau ada sifat nak berlumba2 lelaki perempuan mmg payah nak aman la rumahtangga.
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 08:31 PM | Show all posts
arianakhalid posted on 24-4-2014 07:33 PM
Setakat jatuh cinta syarat tak kuat kalau nak dirikan rumahtangga.

Honestly... Masa mula2 kawen  ...

Saya pada mulanya tak mahu bernikah. Tapi, atas permintaan ibu, dan juga suami terus bawa keluarganya ibu, akhirnya saya setuju.

Mungkin betul juga. saya tak patut lihat perkahwinan sebagai satu perlumbaan. Terima kasih atas pandangan
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Post time 24-4-2014 08:39 PM | Show all posts
Salam Mariah...

you pernah berjauhan dengan suami tak sepanjang perkahwinan..?....kalau ya, ada tak perasaan rindu terhadap suami?
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Post time 24-4-2014 08:45 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 07:19 PM
From the very beginning, you always support me. Thank you so much. Instead of marah-marah I, you t ...

No problem. Tq also for sharing your personal info. I learned a lot from fellow friens here as well. Sometimes bahasa agak keras, tapi i try to read between the line. May Allah swt guide you and bless your whole family as well.
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 08:54 PM | Show all posts
Elle_mujigae posted on 24-4-2014 08:39 PM
Salam Mariah...

you pernah berjauhan dengan suami tak sepanjang perkahwinan..?....kalau ya, ada t ...

Salam.

Saya memang duduk jauh sebab saya masih belajar di Kuala Lumpur. Saya duduk dalam kampus. Saya balik setiap hujung minggu, kalau hari minggu tak ada exam. Kalau ada exam, biasanya suami akan datang jenguk saya. tanya duit poket saya, pelajaran saya, dan kadang-kadang buat assignmnet dengan saya. Kadang-kadang suami bawa saya jalan-jalan sekitar K.Lumpur kalau saya tak dapat balik. Tiap-tiap minggu suami akan jemput saya, biasanya malam Jumaat, sebab hari Jumaat saya tak ada kelas. Kalau suami sibuk, dia akan minta bantuan org lain untuk jemput saya sebab saya ada masalah dengan crowd dan juga memandu. Saya ada lesen, tapi tak boleh memandu lepas mengalami pengalaman yang teruk. Saya berpeluh, dan terus kaku kalau pegang stereng kereta. Kalau seharian, saya teringat juga walau di kampus. Suami dah makan ke? Kerja dia macam mana? Tapi, biasanya waktu malam saya teringat, sebab siang, saya sibuk dgn kelas, assignmnet dll. Setiap malam suami akan hantar mesej, tny khabar saya. Andai kata kalau suami tak hantar sms dekat saya, saya sangat risau. Kalau suami terlalu sibuk sampai tak dapat jenguk saya hujung minggu, dan saya pula tak dapat balik, saya memang teringat. Macam minggu ni, saya tak dapat balik sebab saya ada exam malam esok. Semenjak saya mengandung, lagi kerap saya teringat suami, terutamanya sekarang saya dah mula rasa mual-mual. Tapi, biasanya, kalau saya dah sibuk, saya tak adalah ingat. Saya fikir nak siapkan kerja sahaja.
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Post time 24-4-2014 08:56 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 06:56 PM
I think I am so not fit for marriage, and I am being unthankful for he's being by my side in any c ...

Mariah....you need to let go of the past.I understand that feeling you had for your mother tapi itu hidup dia, not yours. Don't transfer the baggage of your parents' situation into your own, your mother would definitely not want that!

You cannot protect your mother's memory anymore than you can protect yourself by having a "hurt dog" attitude.By doing this, you are denying yourself the opportunity to receive love and live a happy life. Soften your heart, jangan biar hati kering. Ini bertentangan dgn fitrah kita sebagai manusia. End result cuma satu...you unhappy dan akan terus unhappy...in any situation tak kira you bercerai, kahwin lagi or remain with your husband.

Is that what you want? .is that what your mother wanted for you?

You are a good person, berpelajaran dan punya potential tinggi utk berjaya.

And..you are a wife and soon a mother.

Pandang muka suami...touch your preggy belly....these are 2 people who love you. tak ada harta yg lebih dari kehadhiran org yg sayang kita.

Love yourself , babe....give yourself that chance to live happily.







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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 08:57 PM | Show all posts
munchkin posted on 24-4-2014 08:45 PM
No problem. Tq also for sharing your personal info. I learned a lot from fellow friens here as wel ...

Itulah, saya pon kadang-kadang agak terkejut dengan respon yang keras. Mungkin sebab saya tak biasa. tapi, nak buat macam mana, dah tanya, kenalah terima semua risiko. Kalau tak bersedia, jangan tanya. You're right, we have to read between the lines. Sometimes, their intentions are good, yet cara sampaikan tu, mungkin agak kasar. Nak buat macam mana, as you mentioned, we are all born to be different.
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Post time 24-4-2014 09:06 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 08:57 PM
Itulah, saya pon kadang-kadang agak terkejut dengan respon yang keras. Mungkin sebab saya tak bias ...

Tulah...kadang i baca mesej bukan cara dia orang reply. Tapi tak ramai yang paham why bila ada problem kita jumpa counsellor. Kat malaysia ni banyak stigma kalau jumpa counsellor whereas it is quite normal and ok to me. Sebab mungkin my family open to this kind approach. Takde nak label orang sebagainya.

Jumpalah siapa pun ustaz, counsellor, exercise utk dapatkan cara utk improvise ourselves. tak salah. Dont worry and dont think about others cause in reality those people who judge you arent going to be there for you. So kita sendiri kena take charge and take action utk tentukan masa depan dan kegembiraan kita sendiri.

Hang in there yea
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 09:08 PM | Show all posts
bungapeony posted on 24-4-2014 08:56 PM
Mariah....you need to let go of the past.I understand that feeling you had for your mother tapi it ...

Ibu pernah pesan. Org perempuan kena hidup dengan lelaki yang sayang kita, bukan kita yang beriya-iya sayangkan dia, tapi dia tak pandang pon kita. I ingat tu sampai sekarang. I betul-betul tak nak jadi macam ibu. Terlalu memberi, tapi tak dihargai. My problem is, kalau setiap kali suami cakap "Don't be like this. I am not your father", I terus sejuk satu badan. Kemudian, I menangis. I sebenarnya malu dengan suami I, abang I lepas dapat tahu I dah kahwin, dengan anak org senang pula, dia cari I, minta pinjam duit bagai. I mana ada duit. Duit pun suami yang bagi. Kadang-kadang bila suami balik malam, dia datang. Suami nak rehat, tapi abang datang buat masalah. I penat tau tak. Alih-alih, suami I yang asyik bagi dia duit. I yang isteri ni pun tak gunakan suami I sampai macam tu sekali.

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Post time 24-4-2014 09:18 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 08:54 PM
Salam.

Saya memang duduk jauh sebab saya masih belajar di Kuala Lumpur. Saya duduk dalam kampus ...

From what I;ve read,it is clear that you do love your husband. You tahu yang you ada husband yang baik sebab itu you nak berpisah sebab you takut dia tinggalkan you.. Actually that is a valid reason. Bila seseorang melayan kita dengan baik, pada masa yang sama kita tahu diri kita ada banyak kekurangan, terbit rasa "dia sepatutnya bersama dengan wanita yang lain, dengan itu dia akan lebih bahagia" .

Cuma, lelaki macam suami, memang ramai yang suka. Satu hari, I tetap rasa dia akan tinggalkan I juga.

Meninggalkan dan ditinggalkan adalah satu proses yang akan berlaku bila dua orang yang berbeza diikat dengan satu perhubungan. Yes,your husband can leave you...No, not to be with other lady but to meet his Creator. Mati itu pasti.


So, kalau I berpisah sekarang, sekurang-kurangnya I lebih bersedia, sebab I yang minta.

Jika berpisah sekarang, mungkin rasa takut ditinggalkan itu akan hilang.. tapi akan terbit satu perasaan lain iaitu kesal. Kesal kerana tidak mencuba. Tidak mencuba memberi 100% untuk mempertahankan perhubungan ini..



Last edited by Elle_mujigae on 24-4-2014 09:21 PM

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Post time 24-4-2014 09:32 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 08:54 PM
Salam.

Saya memang duduk jauh sebab saya masih belajar di Kuala Lumpur. Saya duduk dalam kampus ...

Complicated. Susah nak paham. Awal2 tadi rasa macam mmg tak suka suami. Tapi teringat n ambil berat. Errrrr... Bercanggah ni dik..

Kalau org tanya soalan direct,

Awak nak apa sebenarnya?
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 09:35 PM | Show all posts
arianakhalid posted on 24-4-2014 09:32 PM
Complicated. Susah nak paham. Awal2 tadi rasa macam mmg tak suka suami. Tapi teringat n ambil bera ...

Sebab tanggungjawab mungkin
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Post time 24-4-2014 09:38 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 09:35 PM
Sebab tanggungjawab mungkin

Sorry tanya... Muslim kan?
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 09:40 PM | Show all posts
arianakhalid posted on 24-4-2014 09:38 PM
Sorry tanya... Muslim kan?

Ya, saya.
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 Author| Post time 24-4-2014 09:44 PM | Show all posts
Elle_mujigae posted on 24-4-2014 09:18 PM
From what I;ve read,it is clear that you do love your husband. You tahu yang you ada husb ...

Thank you. You analyze every single word of mine Terima kasih sebab bagi pendapat.
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Post time 24-4-2014 10:06 PM | Show all posts
Mariah91 posted on 24-4-2014 09:08 PM
Ibu pernah pesan. Org perempuan kena hidup dengan lelaki yang sayang kita, bukan kita yang beriya- ...

babe....the pattern of terlalu memberi from your mother ada in you. Ini biasa terjadi. We counselors call it "parent imprint". And most of us parent our kids exactly like how our parents did.

I am hopeful you can change...you boleh berfikir. the fact that you datang ke sini minta opinion is already half the battle won. this shows you nak cari penyelesaian. hopefully you mahu ambil tindakan utk ubah hidup you. because all the opinion/nasihat isn't going to make any change unless you ACT on them.

re: your brother, learn to say NO. keep your husband away from him. tak perlu cakap keras, afterall you kena belanja byk utk baby. get your in laws to be at your home bila your brother datang. or just don't be home.

re: your formula to prevent being hurt by expecting your husband might leave you satu hari....ini satu pemikiran bodoh dan tak masuk akal. Ask any psychologist and they will tell you that.

the truth is : Your husband will leave you  ONLY AND ONLY IF you continue to have that expectation.

Because our expectations will shape our behaviour. we each shape our destiny by living out our imagined prophecy.(e.g your husband's remark "I am not your father.")

I cannot overstate one thing : Let go and love yourself!

Tuhan pun sayangkan hambanya.....lebih dari sayang seorang ibu pada anaknya.

masih tak mahu sayang diri kah?




Last edited by bungapeony on 24-4-2014 10:19 PM

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