Dayus(suami)...Mendayuskan(isteri)....

zanorba

"Kadang kala somi jadik dayus not by choice, tapi oleh keadaan ....Tidak mahu isteri breakdown, takmo isteri mengungkit kesilapan yg lalu yg mungkin sisuami telah lakukan, dan sebagainya...akhirnya diri mereka ini terus membiarkan isteri mereka ini melakukan aper saja yg membuat hati mereka senang asalkan kesejahteraan mereka terpelihara."-By manak

A leader shouldn't be like that...Suami kena stand out, tegas dlm berhemah membimbing isteri, so tht isteri x terus2an buat silap...though suami mungkin kurang ilmu, but ilmu boleh dicari...dan setiap pprn itu lembut hatinya...dgn usaha yg berterusan dan ilmu yg dimantapkan, pasti suami boleh bawak isteri ke landasan yg betul.

LostSoul

the right word is "ketegaq" kan?

zanorba

Manak-"Ini kadang kala yg boleh memberi semacam set back...yaitu si isteri akan mula mengambil kesempatan yg ada ini utk terus melakukan perkara2 yg diluar jangkauan manakala sisuami akan terus membisu..So dalam case seumpama ini.....bilakah akan ada noktahnya?????"

Tak kan ada noktah selagi suami tak tegas...dan mendayuskan diri sendiri...

Tapi tu la kan...kona sana kona sini, masyarakat seringkali melihat kesilapan pd isteri jg...suami mendayuskan diri sendiri pun, isteri juga dikatakan mendayuskan suami though punca somi tu sendrik!

Lipton

eh abe aji ni tak nak komen ke topic ni... entahlah yek bagi aku yang tak berapa pandai bab2 agama ni...bab dayus ni atas pilihan sang somi tu sendiri..bagi isteri yang solehah dia akan cuma meringan kan tanngjawab suami dia contohnya katalah sang somi ni ala2 bab agama tak berapa concernlah contohnya jenis tak kesah bini tutup aurat ke bukak ke lantok hang la..apa salahnya sang bini yang meringankan sikit tugas sang somi tu dengan diri sendiri tutup aurat tanpa perlu tunggu sang somi suruh bagai...eh apa aku merepek pepetang ni...babai

manakautau

Originally posted by zanorba at 31-1-2008 04:05 PM
Manak-"Ini kadang kala yg boleh memberi semacam set back...yaitu si isteri akan mula mengambil kesempatan yg ada ini utk terus melakukan perkara2 yg diluar jangkauan manakala sisuami akan terus m ...

  I guess tak applicable pada isteri yg mengalami mental disorientation.......sebab ader simpan bebanyok trump cards..... .

Like Manak katakan.....sebaik mana suami cuba utk mendidik isteri, isteri juga berperanan utk memudahkan tugasan suami itu.

Tu yg Manak katakan tadi ramai diantara kita ada masalah tapi takmo jumpa doktor pakar.........sedih kekadang tu....dah buat somi jadi cam dayus....padahal laki bukan calang2 laki.......adehhhhhh...

putubambu

ape pulak merepek..
ada kebenaran juga tu..

Lily_Savage

walopun ko anggap merepek, tp aku setuju sgt ngan kenyataan ini. sbg isteri kita sayang suami kita bukan takat dunia tp sampai akhirat. kalau takdirnya suami kita bukan jenis alim sgt, bagus sgt, apa salahnya kita buat apa yg kita faham, jauhi maksiat, tutup aurat, bukan tunggu suami tegur baru nak buat. kesian pada kaum suami.

manakautau

Originally posted by Lily_Savage at 31-1-2008 04:28 PM
walopun ko anggap merepek, tp aku setuju sgt ngan kenyataan ini. sbg isteri kita sayang suami kita bukan takat dunia tp sampai akhirat. kalau takdirnya suami kita bukan jenis alim sgt, bagus sgt, ...

The privellege have to be given to pihak suami bagaimana alim atau tidaknya dia utk membimbing isteri.....isteri pula hanya perlu membuat perkara2 yg tidak boleh mendatangkan kedayusan bagi pihak suami dgn perlakuan maksiat yg terang lagi nyata........

LostSoul

gotta drop the 'l'

misy

terkinja kinja

misy

it's no hurt by being yourself

LostSoul

  thx sis.. i am what i am..

manakautau

Originally posted by LostSoul at 31-1-2008 12:54 PM
you may said that wives encourage their husbands to be 'dayus', or wives purposely do something to make their husbands to be 'dayus', but do we see the whole picture, then, of why the wives did what they did, or why the husbands let the wives do what they did?

How did I miss this part? Why then wud be the reason/s ? Somi yg lihat isteri melakukan maksiat mengumpat, memaki, mengutuk org didepan matanya sambil berkata....."it's ok kucenta, makilah,kutuklah...kucenta abe kalau maki hamun org memang pandai...""abe syg kucenta, asal jgn lunyai abe serta ungkit2 kisah gf abe yg dolu2 jer sudahlah.."   Mungkinkah ini antara sebabnya????? Mungkinkah??????

Atau isteri yg  " telah berjaya bentuk somi mengikut telunjuknya,dah terlalu banyak menolong  somi dalam banyak  hal rumhtangga, jadik aper yg dia lakukan yg somi tak suka sebelum ini pun tak leh somi nak cakap aper pun...takut2 isteri mintak cerai.......sebab selama ini pun hidupnya pun bukannya senang nah ngan sominya itu.... ".....For all the kemungkinan yg Manak dah sebut ini.........mungkinkah ini yg berlaku atau ada sebarang kemungkinan yg lain yg mungkin HC lebih tahu????

Kepada isteri2 yg Manak contoh kan diatas itu " Wahai isteri2??? Tidakkah kamu sayangi suami kamu sehingga tergamak menjatuhkan mertabat mereka sebagai seorang suami kepada kamu??????? Tidakkah kamu kasihani somi2 kamu menanggung dosa akan aper yg kamu lakukan kerna tidak menegur serta memarahi kamu??????? FIKIRKANLAH"


Sekali lagi seperti Manak katakan, contoh yg Manak berikan sekadar kemungkinan sahaja.........Tidak ada kena mengena dgn yg hidup atau yg mati.....Kalau ada pun sekadar kebetulan.......

[ Last edited by  manakautau at 1-2-2008 07:51 AM ]

manakautau

For all the somi2 yg tidak ada ILMU serta bijak utk mendidik isteri2......all it needs adalah isteri2 yg baik serta soleh untuk sematkan dalam sanubari " Sanggupkah aku terus menerus biarkan suami ku menanggung dosa aku hanya kerna dia tidak pernah menegur serta memarahi ku akan segala kemungkaran yg aku lakukan??????????............Want to give some tots to this statement wahai isteri2???????? Difficult to do???? Or you have to be a perfect person to do it????..... Islam itu mudah dan tidak membebankan........ Para isteri adalah golongan yg paling mudah masuk syurga dan yg paling mudah juga dihumbankan kedalam neraka.......

LostSoul

then, it is conformed then you're opening this thread as a personal attack to someone in here. got nothing to say, accept that, redigest what you have advised many. many people previously, and think again. if you think that keeping a grudge is ok, when you personally advised me to just let it go, then by all means, go ahead and do what you think right.

so, all of us know, where this thread is heading to. congratulations, dude. and to ever think that you're different from others. eheh

manakautau

There is no basis to feel defensive.In good faith, Like I said, for all that I will try to be as rational as I can be, please don't judge this thread the way you want to judge it......allow it to flow...coz there are pp out there who may be genuinely facing this situation. Like I said this thread served to all. Look at wat I wrote and let us discuss on the points...dats all I am asking........

Insinuating and influencing others to believe that this is worthless discussion is not ethical. Believe you me,On the pretext of pp with neutral views ,This thread is not targeted at few groups, but rather the whole of forummers out there.....Allow other readers to benefit from points yg boleh dimanfaatkan....and if you strongly feel dat dari post yg pertama sehingga yg terkini.....tidak ada seorang pun yg dapat sebarang manfaat darinya....than maybe I can personally consider closing this thread.......Tapi selagi you feel yg munkin diri you seorang dan segelintir sahaja yg berasakan demikian, than I think you have to give pp the benefits of doubt to share their points here...... Thank you for understanding.

Buat MOD2

Kaki nota:: please look at this thread as a whole.....dats all I am asking for.......coz looking back at other threads b4 this I am sure you will tend to agree with me.....this thread boleh mendatangkan manfaat bagi ramai diluar sana  yg mempunyai neutral thinking........Please be rational and not take any sides b4 you decide to do anything with this thread.....Again like I said and wud like to maintain.....I mean no harm to anyone......sekadar satu thread buat perbincangan...and contoh2 yg Manak berikan tentunya tidak exclusive hanya utk segelintir saja, tapi lebih ramai yg diluar sana yg mungkin juga mengalami situasi sedemikian.......Thanking you guys in advance......

[ Last edited by  manakautau at 1-2-2008 10:09 AM ]

Lily_Savage

nonsense betullah manak ni..
in good faith lah kenkonon, tp perbincangan jelas menjurus kepada nak hentam org. kalau betul ikhlas, kenapa tak bincang jugak yg menjurus kepada kenapa laki yg alim, even dah sampai taraf pak haji maybe, tpi yg tak kisah bini dia tak tutup aurat? dan lain2 kes yg juga boleh dikategorikan dayus? kenapa bila sampai part yg berkenaan dgn sesetengah individu, baru nak diskus? apatah lagi kalau kes tu tgh hangat disini, tak ke semua org akan fikir benda yg sama. kalau ikhlas nak bincang, x leh tunggu time reda dulu ke?

manakautau

Originally posted by Lily_Savage at 1-2-2008 09:27 AM
nonsense betullah manak ni..
in good faith lah kenkonon, tp perbincangan jelas menjurus kepada nak hentam org. kalau betul ikhlas, kenapa tak bincang jugak yg menjurus kepada kenapa laki yg alim ...

Thread ni dah habis perbincangannya ker Lili.........????????? Yg awak nak terus jump into conclusion????? Are you accusing me too?????
Look at the points yg Manak utarakan.....Naper awak mesti pikirkan utk saper yg Manak sasarkan????? LOOK AT THE POINTS...LOOK AT THE POINTS....LOOK AT THE POINTS RAISED........Thank you.

LostSoul

i'm not insinuating anything. take a look at your siggy, and take a look at what you wanted to gear this topic to, your examples. simple as that. if you're still oblivious to that fact, well, means that the incurable disease called "deep seeded grudge" has claimed another victim. i'm just trying to tell you to sit down n think, like what you have told me before.

anyway, you called people dayus make you only in the same league with peole that you condemned because they are labelling people munafiq etc. as i recalled, you did say it is not our right to label people as anything, it's God's right.

if this makes you satisfied, then by all means, go ahead then.

SleepyFish

salam manak,

if u want to discuss this on a religious point of view I have to say I can't. However I was thinking kan a marriage cannot be looked at generally. One household may not be the same as another. also there are various personality that make up a man. Some man tak suka confrontation and thus are too "lazy" tak kuasa nak nasihat their wives, other see that they can nasihat but at the same time leave it to their wives to make the change.

as for the context of this discussion "dayus" well it can be looked at different angles. maybe the husband has no knowledge that the wife is mendayus as u say. who knows she potrays and act really angelic and he sees no wrong.

let me ask u then manak...in what situation do u see that a man as dayus? Please make it simple for me to undersatand without so many jargons. My mind is simple and I cannot understand what u write at times.

SF