Love Doc: Q & A Here (Especially for the Ladies)

sweetpea911 · Post time 12-6-2008 05:53 PM

sorry to hear that maybank..
its hard ..but u hv to accept and move on..
eventually..u akan ok..percaya ckp i..

anggap dia mmg bukan utk u..
kalau rasa nak nangis, lepaskan..jgn ditahan2..carik kwn yg u
percaya, luahkan semua kat dia..pinjam bahu dia utk nangis
sepuas2 nya..u akan rasa ok lps tu..
enjoy ur singledom..hangout dgn kwn2..
that's the best treatment..

i've been thru this..x byk beza sgt pun kisah kita..alhamdulillah i dah ok..
x smpi setahun pun nak recover..tp x sanggup nak ingat mcm mana
diri i awal2 dulu..

Allah knows the best for us..be good, be happy n be grateful..

maybank · Post time 12-6-2008 07:16 PM

sweetpea....let us be fren nak? i think i need a new fren like u. U said that citer kia pun nak hampir sama....i might need advise from a fren like u...cumanya i tak sangup nak tunggu sampai 7 bulan br nak recover....its too long...i'm afraid i'll die by that time....paling i takut mcm u citer tu, they tunang just after 4 months. My godness....camner u leh terima semua tu. Diorg bila nak kawin?

p.s if u dunt mind, how old r u n ur ex? n org yg amik dia dari u tu?

sweetpea911 · Post time 13-6-2008 02:59 PM

sori ifan ktrg chit chat dlm topic u..

maybank,
i'll pm u my yahoo id and number..

dulu, i mcm u jugak..x tau mcm mana nak teruskan idup..
huru hara hidup i 2,3 bln tu..
tp tu lah..skrg i dah start nmpk hikmahnya..
i jadi makin positif, dan i rasa lebih kuat n confident..

umur i dgn dia sebaya..27 this year..
umo that girl 24 this year..

ifanonline · Post time 14-6-2008 11:39 AM

To maybank and sweetpea,

It's ok ladies, go ahead and chit-chat...this thread is all about love...

That's is why, when i first open this thread...you need advices from different perspective. It is un-logical to ask for advice about a man from a woman...how can a woman advice other woman about man? Bentuk tubuh badan pun dah berlainan dah...and some ladies, being goody-too-shoo themselve, knows everything about men through knowledge and experience...to me, who cares.

Ones feelings is hard to understand. That's why seeking advice from the wrong place will give you false perception. A man would ask to his girlfriends about his special girlfriend...he would not go to his male friends for advice, that is so wrong.

pretty00ugly · Post time 16-6-2008 12:14 AM

hi doc love,
this is my first time writing in this thread.

i just broke up with my bf.
he asked for it.

actually, last time kami gaduh was a week a go.
he asked for it (yeah i admit that it was my fault sbb i cakap kasar ngn die-PMS mase tu).
then after 2-3 days he forgave me and we started the rshp all over again.

tapi tadi kami gaduh lagi sbb i marah die. yerla..die yg start ckp kasar dulu..he called me as 'BRO'. and i told him that i think that word is impolite for me, esp to a gf. even kawan2 prempuan die pn im sure die takkan panggil bro.

so i marah bile die panggil i mcm tu..i replied saying a harsh word too-takkan i nak biar die pijak kepala kan..
then die mrh me back sbb die kate i dh jnji takkan berkasar dgn die..die claimed yg die tersasul panggil i bro tapi i plak niat sengaja ckp kasar ngn die (YES..i admit tht sbb i mrh)

so die kate die dah tak trust i...die ckp i lied and gave him hopes jer all this while..
he hung up the phone and text me..die asked for break up AGAIN after a week.
i called him and die kate we're through.

tapi i tak plead pn ..tak begging pn..sbb i dah xlrt nk pjuk. all i know that i was mad, really mad.

he told me not to find him anymore.
and once again he hung up.

so i guess that was going to be my last call for him.

dah la i call dari UK,jauh..die hang up cmtuh je..and FYI, die mmg kalo tgh gaduh die yg salu hang up..i plak yg akan call blk. now i realised that how stupid i was.

i duno la Doc what shud i do..
we're supposed to meet in a week time..he's going to fetch me up at the airport..
but since we're through..sumer tu takkan jadi reality..
sayang je kan rship ni?

nie_ros · Post time 16-6-2008 12:14 PM

hai doc

Saya baru couple ngan seorang mamat nii...
saya sangat sukat kat dia...
sbb dia memenuhi semua ciri2 kehendak saya....
tapi masalahnya saya bukan la jenis gadis yang pandai berkata2
tak pandai bercelotih dan bergurau senda.......
saya rasa mcm tak best berpasangan ngan dia
sbb nye dia pun same tak pandai romentik....
jd saya kelu nak bermasage ngan dia....
klau sepatah massage dia hantar sepatah la saya jwp...
tolong laaa saya adakah patut saya terus kan perhubungan ngan diaa.
Bertambah masalah lagi
baru2 ni dia ajak bertunag...

ifanonline · Post time 16-6-2008 12:47 PM

If you read through my previous post...the one thing i dreaded the most is Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Been there, done that. My advice is, stop talking through the phone, just email him if you want to talk to him. When you come back from UK, see him as often as possible. That's my advice. LDR is tough, sometime it's just not worth the time and effort. LDR needs patience, hard work,etc...

ifanonline · Post time 16-6-2008 12:51 PM

Kiranya both of u ni pendiam la orangnya. No worries, jangan bimbang. Ada aktiviti2 yg boleh membuatkan anda berdua bercakap. Cuba ajak pasangan anda main bowling, kayuh basikal, atau pergi jungle tracking. Kalau dier berminat, aktiviti tersebut akan 'memaksa' dier dan kamu berinteraksi dalam situasi2 tertentu.

Selalunya manusia dalam keadaan bergerak, akan mudah bercakap...cubalah.

pretty00ugly · Post time 17-6-2008 03:44 AM

hi doc..
my prob solved just now..
he called me and we worked things out..

thanks..
just cant wait to see him in 5 days time after 10 months being apart

ifanonline · Post time 17-6-2008 10:33 AM

Glad to hear that...

sweetpea911 · Post time 17-6-2008 10:44 AM

Originally posted by ifanonline at 2-6-2008 04:38 PM
Sometime kalau guys cakap dier bz...memang dier bz. Tapi busy2 pun takkan tak sempat balas sms tak? If he still have the time to reply to your sms, maksudnya dier masih berminat dengan u even tho ...

i hope u still remember my last post about this guy..

lps dia nmpk mcm x berminat (he didn't reply my sms), i pun
stop texting him..

a week after that, dia tny pd kwn i knp i dah x contact dia lg..
dia ckp dia x sihat, busy n penat sgt the whole week..
then kwn i ckp la yg i segan sbb dia x reply..

mlm tu dlm pkl 4++ dia sms i ckp gudnite..tp i x reply
sbb dah tdo..so, lps tu i start txt dia blk..n dia reply..dia explain
knp dia x reply my sms sama mcm dia ckp dgn kwn i..
tp i control x nak text dia kerap sgt..sehari, sekali dua je..
msg gud morning, gud nite..
mslhnya..i dah make clear-cut yg i nak kwn je ngan dia...
so i takut sbb tu dia layan i baik..
rasa2 nya ada peluang lg tak?

guy ni i rasa x appreciate being chased..
apa yg i nak buat supaya x nmpk terkejar2, and at the
same time remind him my existence?

prego · Post time 17-6-2008 01:24 PM

hi doc..
wanna ask u something.. right now i'm having problem with my bf..
lately kitorang mmg selalu gaduh.. and memang we're frank to each other..

few days before masa tgh gaduh tu tiba2 dia cakap, he keeps on dreaming these days.. less about me, but more about someone who really care for him before (maybe ex-gf dia kot).. i think as a man u know what sort of dream he's having..

he said, it started from m#stu#b#ti## and he refused to think of me.. but think of that girl..then she came in his dream..

i want to know.. is this a normal thing, a man will do as revenge? he said i didnt obey him and do as desire.. so thats the cause of his dream..
i wonder why he told me this, whether hes trying to be frank or else..
what if we're married and tiba2 gaduh.. will he think of other woman during our love making?

is he a reliable man? boleh buat laki ke camni? and another thing.. is it normal for a man to dream of different girls.. like today he met A and that nite, he will dream of A.. next week he met B, and later B came in his dream... or is that means hes a sex maniac? or all men have this kind of weird fantasy? soklan cepumas for doc..

ifanonline · Post time 17-6-2008 01:44 PM

You see, apa yg u buat sekarang sudah menampakkan hasilnya. But, your bf is sending you messages, tak salah nak balas...the trick is, dier hantar satu, u balas satu...kalau dier tak antar, jgn gatal2 nak antar...

ifanonline · Post time 17-6-2008 06:19 PM

Your bf is kinda on the high side. Mungkin dier masih muda. Nafsu tengah kuat. Not all men masturbate when they first met a woman. That's kinda wierd...hopefully your bf doesn't become a rapist...hehe(just joking)

Men like to know that they are in control. What ever the situation, men wants to feel in control, regardless if the woman is actually in control. Men and women have their own ego. It's how you put the ego down to a minimum level so that you can maintain the relationship.

Don't feel sad or unsatified with his behaviour.

[ Last edited by ifanonline at 17-6-2008 11:24 PM ]

prego · Post time 18-6-2008 03:40 PM

okie, thanks doc.. nice tips..

at first i was so mad with him, later realised that i cannot control whats in his mind.. at least he be frank with me to share such.. but i told him that such frankness doesnt mean he could do watever he likes (eg: sleeping with other woman) and later make confession.. and dont expect me to forgive & forget..

yeah, u're rite.. in relationship we must think rationally rather than emotionally..
he has such ego and said woman will never understand man's feeling/behaviour coz both hav different characteristic.. which now im willing to learn more about man and his ego..

jazzme · Post time 18-6-2008 05:24 PM

ifanonline · Post time 20-6-2008 04:55 PM

As a love doc, I notice nowadays, ladies are becoming more lazy in a relationship. Well, this is my opinion. I'm not sure whether this is a bias or a general though but, maybe the ladies must change their way of thinking. Instead of being the 'perigi' always, why not the ladies become the timba once in a while. It's nothing wrong nowadays. Society is progressing and the mind of men and women are also following suit.

Maybe some of ladies here wants to give their opinion on this subject. It is true ladies now are more lazy in a relationship? Are becoming more 'perigi' ness then before? Even thought women progress academicly, social norms still hinder their miond frame. When one doesnt' want to tango properly, the dance wouldn't be so smooth.

I believe a relationship needs time and patience to porgress. Especially for the ladies who takes such a long time to prepare for anything. So ladies, what say you?

sweetpea911 · Post time 22-6-2008 03:57 PM

afraid of rejection, maybe..hehhee..
i want to ask him out..but i'm afraid that he might
reject..n thinks i'm cheap or terkejar2..

what is the best way or the best reason to ask men out?

i never do this before..

ifanonline · Post time 23-6-2008 02:20 PM

rejection is something normal in a relationship. Terima dgn hati terbuka. Sooner or later you will get rejected by somebody. If not today, tomorrow or in the future. Might as well you learn from rejection and move on. So, go ahead and ask him out...if he rejects you, you ask him to fcuk off...