matz_rockz This user has been deleted
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Originally posted by timur at 14-12-2005 12:26 PM
thanks kawan2.... 
insyaAllah psl umah tu, dah setel dah... dia dah ada umah. nak move ke Singapore? hehe... tak la kut. biar dia berulang pi tmpt keje dia.
buat masa terdekat ni blo ...
gigi palsu tak apa....jangan duit palsu.... |
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biar palsu asal bergaya, nasib badan, ditangkap polis, masuk penjara...  |
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serikandi This user has been deleted
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Originally posted by timur at 13-12-2005 03:29 PM
kawan2....
timur saja nak ty.... biasanya kalo org singapore kawen, brp letak hantaran?
mmm.... timur org msia, tp bf org spore. agak2 kwn2... brp elok letak hntrn?
ni kira nak ikut spore market lah ni... marriage is about 2 pple working 2gether as a team. i wish u guyz all de best.
[ Last edited by serikandi at 14-12-2005 01:20 PM ] |
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matz_rockz This user has been deleted
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Originally posted by timur at 14-12-2005 12:26 PM
thanks kawan2....
insyaAllah psl umah tu, dah setel dah... dia dah ada umah. nak move ke Singapore? hehe... tak la kut. biar dia berulang pi tmpt keje dia.
buat masa terdekat ni blo ...
marry an honest man....life should be ok.... |
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SHOCKING MARRIAGE 1
She wanted out after two months
By Celine Lim
December 16, 2005
AFTER about a year of romance, they got married. Two months later, Jess wanted her marriage annulled.
Liz's marriage lasted a little longer. She was in it for eight months before getting a divorce. (See other report.)
Jess and Liz are not their real names. Neither woman wanted to be identified or have their photograph taken for this report.
Why? Not because of any stigma.
They just want to move on and be fair to their former husbands.
Uncommon you say?
Not quite. Their cases are part of a growing trend here.
Marriage dissolutions - divorces and annulments - are at their second highest in 20 years, according to figures released by the Department of Statistics. Remarriages are also up.
JUST PERFECT
Call it changing times. The stigma of having a failed marriage is gone, and the prospect of being a single parent becomes increasingly real.
In Jess' case, her 10-month courtship, filled with gifts, holidays and emotional support, lasted longer than her marriage did.
She said when her ex-husband proposed, everything was just perfect. It was like a scene right out of a romance novel.
They were on a holiday and she, swept up in the moment, said 'Yes'.
But the very next day, the management executive in her early 20s had second thoughts.
Two months after registering their marriage, she called it quits.
She said: 'He was very nice to me. But I got more nervous and jittery as the customary wedding approached. Instead of being joyful, I felt a sense of dread.'
The annulment did not proceed at first as her husband, who is seven years older, asked her to give the marriage a chance.
She agreed.
He also said he would try to 'change' for her.
But, Jess said, there was nothing to change.
He was intelligent, financially stable, polite and well-liked by many.
She said, in hindsight, her irritation at little things - like the way he talked and his mannerisms - were signs that something was wrong.
There were also certain 'big issues' they could not agree on, like whether to have children.
She said: 'I was not keen to have kids, but he really wanted to start a family. And I thought, if he's the right person for me, I won't be so against having children.'
Almost four months passed after she first asked for an annulment, before she finally took action.
Two weeks before their customary wedding, Jess went to see a lawyer. By then, she had decided that she would file for an annulment even if she had to do it on her own.
She said: 'It took a lot for me to back out. Our families were so involved in the preparations and he had spent tens of thousands on Tiffany's jewellery for the wedding.
'Even before that, he used to buy me gifts without my asking and went on holidays with me whenever I wanted.
'But it wasn't just the material things, as my family is well-off too. He was emotionally supportive, yet he would leave me alone if I asked him to.
'So why wasn't I happy?'
Jess said their families lost 'a lot of money' when they had to cancel the booking for the hotel function room and the dinner.
However, they had not sent out any invitations as 'only close friends' were invited. There were to be 11 tables at the customary wedding.
She said she had been hesitant about the relationship to begin with.
But he had been persistent.
They had met through mutual friends. And he started actively pursuing her a year later, after ending a previous relationship.
IGNORED GUT FEEL
The courtship was the stuff of fairy tales and, 10 months later, he popped the big question.
'Even after thinking I'd made a mistake saying yes, I felt obliged to try to make things work,' said Jess.
'Preparations for the wedding had been set in motion so I ignored my gut feel.'
But she realised that, unlike her previous relationships, she was unwilling to compromise with her husband on important issues.
'And that sounded warning bells in my head,' said Jess.
The couple had not consummated their marriage because she had not wanted to.
Jess said her husband was 'understanding', although it was 'obviously trying' for him.
When they heard about the annulment, her family and friends were initially dismayed.
But Jess was firm on what she had decided.
'Things were not that clear to me then, but I have no regrets now. It would have been a disservice to everyone if I had gone on with the marriage.'
As for her husband, Jess said there were tense situations during the annulment proceedings.
'He would ask, 'Why are you doing this to me?',' she recalled, 'but when he realised I wasn't in love with him, he decided to let me go.'
He signed the annulment papers willingly.
They lost touch after the annulment process was completed. Jess said she did not want to contact him in case he thought she had changed her mind about the marriage.
'I think I really hurt him very badly. But I hope he's now happily married.'
Her view of marriage now?
'If he is the right person, then marriage is the right step to take.'
About two years ago, a few years after the annulment, she walked down the aisle with another man, and is now the happier for it.
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S'pore marriage failure rate triples
Marriage dissolutions at their second highest in 20 years
Failed marriages
1984: 2,313
2004: 6,388
Highest divorce rate among people aged 20-24 last year
One of the most common grounds for split: Unreasonable behaviour |
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SHOCKING MARRIAGE 2: I wanted security
December 16, 2005
THEY say home is where the heart is. Well, this woman wanted a home of her own so much, she got married without being really sure where her heart was.
Liz, at the age of 24, did think her boyfriend of five years, who was two years older, would give her emotional security.
But eight months after registering their marriage, she filed for divorce.
She is now a good friend of her ex-husband, who will be getting married again soon.
Yet when she filed for divorce several years ago, things had become so bad she had 'lost respect' for him.
And as soon as the legal proceedings were over, she moved out of their home.
Looking back, Liz said: 'I was young and didn't know what I wanted. I did want to move out of my parents' home.
'But he wanted to get married and for me to be his wife.'
She conceded that they should have gone for marriage preparation courses before taking their vows.
'We didn't know how to assume the role of spouse or how to make the switch from dating to being married,' said Liz.
'Having to downgrade our lifestyles as a result of paying for our HDB flat also led to quarrels.'
While dating, they had spent weekends at each other's place and gone on holidays together. But setting up home together and living with each other seven days a week was something they were not prepared for.
Having different ways of handling conflict whenever they fought did not help matters. Liz preferred to be alone while her husband wanted to talk things over. She felt he was too emotionally dependent on her.
And she started losing respect for him when he threatened to break up.
She also found their sex life unexciting. She felt their marriage was lacking in passion. She said: 'At that point, I enjoyed going to work more than being at home with him.'
Four months into the marriage, she was 'miserable' and confided in close friends, who were supportive.
'He didn't want to divorce, of course, but I told him it was for his own good. He wanted to try counselling, but I wanted out.'
Liz has recently starting seeing someone, but said it is still too early to talk about marriage.
And while she tells only close friends about her divorce, she has 'no regrets' and calls it the 'best thing' she has ever done. |
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Wife wanted divorce because...
She was drunk, hubby didn't escort her
Counsellors and lawyers say couples call it quits for silly reasons
By Liew Hanqing and Celine Lim
December 16, 2005
SHE came home drunk.
He was not waiting for her at the void deck to escort her home.
The result: The wife wants a divorce, said lawyer Kenneth Au-Yong.
Silly, but not uncommon, according to family lawyers we spoke to.
And it is in line with what counsellors say. Many young couples do not try hard enough to make the marriage work.
The Department of Statistics' figures show most non-Muslim couples surveyed cited living apart, spouses' unreasonable behaviour and adultery as the main reasons for divorce.
Among Muslim divorces, the most common reasons cited include personality differences and infidelity.
Some couples file for divorce on the 'catch-all' grounds of unreasonable behaviour, said lawyer Chia Boon Teck, who has been in practice for about 10 years.
This can range from a husband being a 'mummy's boy' to a wife going overseas constantly to earn degree after degree.
So is divorce becoming too easy an alternative to working out marriage woes?
It would seem so, from the statistics.
The number of marital dissolutions - or divorces and annullments - has almost tripled in the last 20 years.
According to the latest figures from the Department of Statistics, the number of dissolutions jumped from just 2,313 in 1984 to 6,388 last year.
Mr David Kan, executive director and co-founder of the Family Life Centre, said: 'Although most couples are serious before they tie the knot, divorce seems to be the quick fix when problems arise.
'Couples need to put more effort into marriage bonding, and learn how to prioritise.'
And Mr Chia said 'easily half' of the people who consult him think a divorce can be completed in one sitting.
While he said these couples are of 'all ages', many fall within the early 20s to 30 age range.
'They watch local Chinese dramas on TV where the couple just sign on the dotted line in front of a lawyer to get divorced,' said Mr Chia, in frustration.
'Even educated clients pit what they see on TV against us lawyers! We have to spend so much time un-doing this misconception.'
GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
He explained that couples have to be married for at least three years before they can apply for a divorce.
To petition for a divorce with less than three years of marriage, the court has to be convinced that continuing in the marriage would cause exceptional hardship for a spouse. For example, in cases of physical abuse.
Divorce can be granted on the grounds of adultery, desertion, unreasonable behaviour or separation.
Filing for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour does away with the minimum three-year separation period.
But Mr Chia said that doing so can result in a 'mudslinging match' as the other spouse can file a reply to the examples of unreasonable behaviour.
Still, he does not think that people are getting married on a whim.
'What has changed is that couples now have a lower tolerance level and higher expectations of their spouse,' said Mr Chia.
'And they are more prepared to throw in the towel rather than work things through.'
Hardly any of his clients went for counselling before going to him.
Added Mr Charles Lee, a senior counsellor at the Tanjong Pagar Family Services Centre (FSC), who frequently counsels couples with marriage woes: 'If they carry their flaws into their next relationships, they will simply become serial divorcees.'
Mr Kan said that couples find it hard to nurture communication and trust, especially when they have social responsibilities and work stress to deal with.
This might account for the fact that divorces were most common among younger couples last year. Married persons in the age range of 20-24 registered the highest divorce rate relative to other age groups, according to the Department of Statistics.
Family lawyer Foo Siew Fong said that more than half of the divorces she has handled recently were initiated by women.
'Women are more highly educated, financially stronger and not as ignorant as they used to be,' she said. |
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TIADA MASALAH KAHWIN CAMPUR
APABILA Cik Vivi Zahlindah Samri meluahkan niat hendak berkahwin dengan seorang lelaki berdarah India, beberapa saudara-maranya berasa bimbang untuk dirinya.
'Kata mereka, perkahwinan dengan bangsa lain sukar dan amat cerewet tentang kewangan. Wanita yang mengahwininya pula banyak pantang la rangnya seperti perlu sentiasa berpakaian sopan, tidak boleh pakai semba rangan,' katanya.
Namun, ahli keluarga terdekat gadis berketurunan Bawean itu langsung tidak menghalang penyatuan mereka, malah memberi sepenuh sokongan dan doa restu.
Cik Vivi, 25 tahun, dan pilihan hatinya, Mohamad Feroz Mohd Yassin, 27 tahun, selamat diijabkabulkan April lalu setelah berkenalan lebih tujuh tahun.
'Terbukti stereotaip itu tidak benar. Saya dapati suami saya amat berfikiran terbuka dan senang diajak berbincang. Beliau juga menghormati saya sebagai wanita dan bukan seorang yang suka mendesak,' kata suri rumah itu.
Meskipun bangsa yang tertera di kad pengenalannya adalah 'India', Encik Mohamad Feroz, yang ibunya Cina, sebenarnya menganggap dirinya sebagai orang Melayu.
Pegawai Cisco itu berkata: 'Saya dibesarkan dalam suasana yang berasaskan budaya dan tradisi Melayu, justeru saya melihat identiti saya sebagai orang Melayu.
'Saya rasa trend berkahwin campur ini akan semakin meningkat di Singapura kerana kami mempunyai banyak persamaan. Bagi saya dan isteri saya, kami mengongsi agama dan bahasa yang sama.'
Satu lagi pasangan India-Melayu yang telah mendirikan rumah tangga dalam 2001 ialah Encik Zulfikar Ibrahim dan Nadiah Abdul Khalik, kedua-duanya 30 tahun.
Mereka juga tidak menghadapi halangan keluarga dan selesa dengan amalan hidup masing-masing.
'Lagipun, budaya Melayu dan India kini dah banyak bercampur. Keluarga saya sendiri lebih mengamalkan budaya Melayu,' kata Encik Zulfikar, seorang jurutera teknologi maklumat.
Jika dilihat perangkaan terbaru Jabatan Statistik Singapura pula, masyarakat Melayu/Islam lebih terbuka kepada perkahwinan campur.
Jika dibandingkan jumlahnya dalam tempoh sedekad, perkahwinan campur di kalangan masyarakat Islam semakin meningkat - daripada 18 peratus dalam 1994 kepada 25 peratus tahun lalu.
Bahkan, kebanyakan perkahwinan campur tahun lalu merupakan perkahwinan antara orang Melayu dengan orang India, yang membentuk lebih 40 peratus daripada 1,040 perkahwinan.
Malah, 1 dalam 4 wanita Melayu mengahwini lelaki India.
Pakar sosiologi dari Universiti Nasional Singapura (NUS), Profesor Stella Quah, berkata trend ini mencerminkan masyarakat yang lebih kosmopolitan dan terbuka.
'Dengan berlalunya masa, para penduduk akan lebih kosmopolitan dan warga yang lebih berpendidikan tinggi, terutamanya, akan lebih terbuka kepada idea untuk mengahwini pasangan yang bukan dari kaum mereka sendiri,' katanya.
Bersetuju, kaunselor keluarga, Cik Siti Hamidah Bahashwan, berkata kini stigma 'berkahwin orang luar' semakin berkurangan, terutama di kalangan kaum India dan Arab.
'Budaya India dan Arab amat menekankan perkahwinan dalam keluarga agar darah keturunan tidak terputus. Jika berkahwin dengan orang luar, wanita mereka khususnya akan 'hilang' nama keturunan keluarga.
'Tetapi generasi muda sekarang tidak menghadapi dilema ini. Mereka tidak lagi terpaksa mematuhi perintah ibu bapa dan berkahwin dengan pasangan yang telah dipilihkan untuk mereka,' katanya. |
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DAPATKAN BANTUAN UNTUK ELAK CERAI
Kadar perceraian di kalangan masyarakat Melayu/Islam merosot 12 peratus tahun lalu berbanding 2003, menurut perangkaan terbaru Jabatan Statistik Singapura. Sementara itu, perkahwinan campur di kalangan masyarakat Islam pula semakin meningkat. Apakah sebab di sebalik trend ini? Soraya Salim melaporkan.
PERCERAIAN bukanlah jalan keluar mudah yang dapat menghuraikan segala masalah rumah tangga.
Pasangan harus berusaha mendapatkan bantuan daripada pelbagai agensi yang ada seperti badan-badan Melayu/Islam dan Pusat Perkhidmatan Keluarga (FSC) untuk cuba menyelesaikan masalah dahulu sebelum terus memohon perceraian di Mahkamah Syariah.
Menegaskan mesej itu, Presiden Kanan Mahkamah Syariah, Ustaz Sallim Jasman, berkata sesetengah pasangan Melayu/Islam jarang mendapatkan bantuan profesional apabila berdepan dengan krisis.
'Apabila mereka tidak dapat menyelesaikan masalah itu sendiri, mereka biarkannya terus membesar dan apabila tidak dapat menanganinya, serta-merta ke Mahkamah Syariah,' katanya.
Ditemui Berita Harian baru-baru ini, Ustaz Sallim berkata meskipun pihaknya gembira jumlah perceraian pasangan Melayu/Islam merosot 12 peratus tahun lalu berbanding 2003, ia tetap merupakan masalah serius bagi masyarakat Melayu/Islam.
Pada pemerhatiannya, ramai yang menuntut perceraian belum bersedia dari segi emosi, psikologi dan kewangan, kurang ilmu agama, tidak mendapat cukup sokongan dan bimbingan daripada ahli keluarga dan telah berkahwin untuk menutup malu.
Mereka juga kurang kemahiran mengendalikan rumah tangga serta tidak tahu bagaimana untuk menghadapi krisis.
Bagi menangani masalah ini, Mahkamah Syariah telah berganding bahu dengan beberapa badan Melayu/Islam serta pertubuhan kebajikan sukarela (VWO) sejak dua tahun lalu untuk melakarkan beberapa program.
Dikhususkan bagi pasangan yang ingin menyelamatkan rumah tangga mereka, serta mereka yang dalam proses bercerai, program itu termasuk program kaunseling perkahwinan, Projek Iltizam Baru (Project New Leaf) serta Projek Penemuan (Project Discovery).
Sejauh ini, badan-badan yang terlibat aktif adalah Persatuan Moral Thye Hua Kwan, Jamiyah, Persatuan Pemudi Islam Singapura (PPIS), Angkatan Karyawan Islam (AMP) dan Darul Arqam.
Namun, kerana program-program itu hanya giat dimulakan tahun lalu, masih terlalu awal untuk membuat kesimpulan akan keberkesanannya, tambah Ustaz Sallim.
Di samping itu, Mahkamah Syariah telah melatih 34 asatizah sebagai penasihat agama bagi badan-badan yang menangani kes pasangan yang menghadapi masalah itu.
Bagaimanapun, Ustaz Sallim mengingatkan bahawa tanggungjawab membantu pasangan bukan sahaja terletak di tangan para kaunselor atau asatizah.
'Para ibu bapa juga harus memainkan peranan, jangan hanya lepas tangan begitu sahaja setelah anak berumah tangga. Mereka masih perlukan bimbingan,' tambahnya.
Beliau turut mengingatkan pasangan yang telah berumah tangga supaya terus mendalami ilmu pengetahuan bersama dengan menghadiri kursus-kursus agar dapat berdepan dengan cabaran kehidupan seharian yang semakin kompleks |
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INILAH KERETA JULIANA KE MAJLIS NIKAH
JOHOR BAHRU - Penyanyi dan pelakon Juliana Banos, 25 tahun, dan bakal suaminya, Encik Mokhtar Ahmad, 32 tahun, kelmarin bergambar di samping kereta Ferari 360 Spider yang akan digunakan dalam majlis pernikahan mereka yang dijadual berlangsung semalam di Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar.
Menurut laporan, Encik Mokhtar, pengarah urusan Mutiara Motor Sdn Bhd, akan mengetuai satu konvoi 14 kereta mewah yang akan menjemput Juliana dari rumahnya di Kampung Melayu Majidee di sini, untuk ke majlis pernikahan mereka.
Juliana bakal menerima wang hantaran RM77,888.77 ($34,400) selain sebuah beg tangan dan sepasang kasut Louis Vuitton, lapor Berita Harian Malaysia semalam.
Dua cincin berlian daripada jenama Cartier dan Carat Club yang ditempah khas dari Singapura bernilai RM10,000 juga bakal disarungkan di jari Juliana di majlis tersebut. - BHM. |
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BEST HONEYMOON SPOTS!
Here抯 our 10 favourite destinations for newlyweds. Whatever your budget or type of dream holiday is, check out these popular honeymoon spots.
Paris, France
The number one spot for honeymooners is still the city of love. Here you抣l find popular attractions like the Eiffel Tower and Musee du Louvre, chill-out al fresco caf閟 and lots of shops to keep you busy for days!
Switzerland
The picture perfect image of the spectacular alpine scenery, cosy mountain chalets, exciting ski runs, grand hotels and calm lakes still makes this a popular choice for many.
New Zealand
Great adventure and breath-taking scenery best describes NZ. They have amazing glaciers, meadows and rain forests, and an exciting list of activities like mountain climbing, bungee jumping off cliffs, white-water rafting and rolling down hillsides in giant plastic balls.
Tokyo, Mt. Fuji, Atami, Kyoto, Lake Biwa, Osaka and Kobe, Japan
A bustling country with lots to see and do, Japan is rich in tradition yet modern. Explore cities together and catch some of Japan抯 most gorgeous mountains, quirky inventions, charming temples and colourful shops.
Venice, Milan, Florence and Rome, Italy
Known for its poets and paintings, Italy抯 numerous cities are simply enchanting. You抣l love Rome抯 epic architectures, Florence抯 cobblestone side streets and rolling hills, Milan抯 shopping malls and Venice抯 rich culture.
Spain
A place with beautiful vineyards, charming country sides and passionate Flamenco dancers, Spain will enchant you instantly. Almost every town and village has its own fiesta too, so be prepared for endless celebrations and good fun!
Hawaii
Watch the sun rise in the morning, and bask along the sandy beaches in the afternoon. This beautiful island filled with tropical flowers, exotic birds and friendly locals will make your honeymoon truly unforgettable.
Bali
Explore Bali and amaze yourself with the natural wonders of the island. It is the lure of the colourful Balinese Hindu festivals, friendly locals, miles of white sands and cool craft shops that keep honeymooners coming back.
Maldives
If you抮e ready to splurge on a luxurious beach holiday, this one抯 a winner. Escape with your honey to the beautiful island with soft beaches, sparkling turquoise lagoons, and an underwater scenery that抯 full of marvellous sights and colourful fishes. It抯 absolute paradise.
Tioman island, Malaysia
Soak in the beauty of this charming tropical island that抯 great for scuba and beach activities. Expect clear waters, coral reefs, long stretch of beaches, cascading waterfalls and lush jungles, but avoid during the monsoon seasons between November through February. |
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TAFSIR SURAH NUR AYAT : 32
Tafsir Ibnu Kathir
,
وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ
Ayat ini mengandungi beberapa hukum-hakam yang 'muhkamah' dan suruhan-suruhan 'mubramah'. Firman Allah Taala : "Dan kahwinkanlah ......." hingga akhirnya merupakan satu perintah supaya mengahwinkan. Sebahagian ulama berpendapat, wajib kahwin bagi setiap yang mampu. Mereka berdalilkan sabda Nabi S.A.W yang bermaksud : "Wahai sekalian pemuda, barangsiapa daripada kalangan kamu yang berkemampuan untuk berkahwin, maka hendaklah ia berkahwin. Sesungguhnya ia (perkahwinan) boleh menundukkan pandangan dan menjaga kemaluan. Barangsiapa yang tidak mampu, maka hendaklah ia berpuasa kerana ia (puasa itu) menjadi penawar baginya. - dikeluarkan dalam sahihain daripada hadith ibnu Masood. Terdapat dalam Sunan bahawa Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda : "Kahwinilah (perempuan) beranak banyak, sesungguhnya aku berbangga mempunyai umat yang ramai di hari Qiamat.
"Al-Ayaama" adalah perkataan jama' bagi perkataan "ayyim". Digunakan untuk perempuan yang tidak mempunyai suami atau untuk lelaki yang tidak mempunyai isteri samada ia pernah berkahwin kemudian bercerai atau yang belum berkahwin lagi.
Firman Allah Taala " إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمْ اللَّه مِنْ فَضْله " "Jika mereka itu miskin, Allah akan memberikan kekayaan kepada mereka dari limpah kurnia-Nya." Berdasarkan ayat ini, berkata Ali b. Abi Talhah daripada Ibnu Abbas; Allah Taala menggesa mereka supaya berkahwin dan memerintahkan orang merdeka dan hamba supaya dikahwinkan serta menjanjikan mereka dengan kekayaan. Berkata Ibnu Abi Hatim, Abu Bakar As-siddiq berkata : Taatilah kamu akan Allah pada apa yang Dia arahkan supaya bernikah, kamu akan peroleh kekayaan sebagaimana yang dijanjikan. Daripada Ibnu Masood; Carilah kekayaan dalam pernikahan. Daripada Abu Hurairah R.A. berkata : Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. : "Tiga hak ke atas Allah menolong mereka; orang yang ingin kahwin yang mahukan memelihara kesucian diri, hamba mukatab yang mahu merdeka dan pejuang di jalan Allah."- diriwayatkan oleh Imam Ahmad, Tarmidzi, An-Nasaaie dan Ibnu Majah. Nabi S.A.W. telah mengahwinkan lelaki itu yang tidak mempunyai apa-apa kecuali kain sebarnya, tidak mampu mengadakan sebentuk cincin besi, meskipun begitu Nabi S.A.W. tetap mengahwinkannya dengan seorang perempuan dan mensyaratkan maharnya ialah mengajarkan perempuan itu Al-Quran.
Tafsir Al-Qurthubi
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وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ
Perintah termasuk dalam bab penjagaan (protection) dan kebaikan (as-salaah). Iaitu, Kahwinkanlah orang yang tiada pasangan dari kalangan kamu kerana sesungguhnya ia adalah jalan menjaga kehormatan diri. Perintah ini ditujukan kepada wali-wali (penjaga). Ada yang berkata perintah itu pasangan (suami/isteri). Yang sahih adalah pendapat pertama; kerana kalau ayat itu merujuk kepada pasangan(laki-laki atau perempuan), sudah tentu ia akan berbunyi {وانكحوا} iaitu tanpa hamzah, iaitu alif wasal. Daripada sini diketahui bahawa perempuan tidak boleh bernikah sendirian tanpa wali. Ini adalah pendapat kebanyakan ulama.
Ulama berselisih dalam perkara ini, Ada tiga pendapat. Berkata ulama kita : berbeza hukum dalam perkara itu disebabkan oleh hal keadaan seseorang mukmin seperti takut berlaku dosa, tidak dapat sabarkan diri serta kekuatannya di atas kesabaran dan hilangnya takut berlaku dosa. Apabila ditakuti berlaku kemusnahan/kerosakan pada agama atau dunia atau pada kedua-duanya sekali maka nikah menjadi wajib. Sekiranya tidak dikhuatiri berlaku apa-apa dan keadaanya bebas, maka berkata Imam Syafie' : Nikah itu harus. Imam Malik dan Abu Hanifah berkata : Nikah itu mustahabb. Imam Syafie membuat ulasan bahawa nikah itu merasakan keenakan maka ia adalah harus seumpama makan dan minum. Ulama kita pula memberi komentar berdasarkan hadis sahih :
مَنْ رَغِبَ عَنْ سُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي
"Barangsiapa yang tidak sukakan sunnahku, maka ia bukan dari golonganku"
"Al-Ayaama minkum" iaitu laki-laki atau perempuan yang tiada pasangan. Mufrad (singular) bagi perkataan ( الْأَيَامَى ) ialah ( الْأَيِّم ). Berkata Abu Amru : ( أَيَامَى ) adalah terbalikan perkataan ( أَيَايِم ). Ahli bahasa (bahasa Arab) bersepakat bahawa ( الْأَيِّم ) pada asalnya bermaksud perempuan yang tiada suami samada perempuan itu dara ataupun janda. Kenyataan ini diceritakan oleh Abu Amru, Al-Kisaaie dan lain-lain.
Maksud firman Allah Taala ( وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ ) iaitu "Dan kahwinkanlah orang-orang bujang (lelaki dan perempuan) dari kalangan kamu." Kemudian ayat tadi menerangkan hukum mengenai hamba, firmanNya : ( وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ ). Al-Hasan membaca ayat tadi dengan ( وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عَبِيدكُمْ ), dan perkataan ( وَعَبِيد ) adalah isim (kata nama) bagi jama'nya (plural). Al-Farra' berkata : dan harus ( وَإِمَاءَكُمْ ) dibaca dengan nasab (baris atas), kembali/merujuk kepada perkataan ( الصَّالِحِينَ ) iaitu laki-laki dan perempuan.[iaitu maknanya : kahwinkanlah .....orang-orang soleh... dan kahwinkanlah hamba-hamba kamu). Yang baik (pada perkataan orang yang baik) adalah imannya.
Dikatakan juga bahawa makna ayat itu ialah hendaklah keinginan untuk mengahwinkan hamba itu mestilah hamba-hamba itu orang yang baik, maka harus mengahwinkannya. |
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Originally posted by SQ154 at 18-12-2005 09:55 AM
INILAH KERETA JULIANA KE MAJLIS NIKAH
JOHOR BAHRU - Penyanyi dan pelakon Juliana Banos, 25 tahun, dan bakal suaminya, Encik Mokhtar Ahmad, 32 tahun, kelmarin bergambar di samping kereta Ferari 36 ...
wah hantaran dia terantuk beb |
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Originally posted by gadis_aries at 18-12-2005 12:42 PM
wah hantaran dia terantuk beb
aku nengok keta tu, aku nengok lesen plate je dah those special order nye JJ777 or something..:kant: |
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Originally posted by SQ154 at 18-12-2005 09:55 AM
INILAH KERETA JULIANA KE MAJLIS NIKAH
JOHOR BAHRU - Penyanyi dan pelakon Juliana Banos, 25 tahun, dan bakal suaminya, Encik Mokhtar Ahmad, 32 tahun, kelmarin bergambar di samping kereta Ferari 36 ...
hantaran tinggi melangit seh...terkejut ian baca jumlah hantaran dia.... |
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Gadis_Venus This user has been deleted
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Ish3..perlu ke hantaran sebyk tu...?? |
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i baca ni semua pasal stats kawin, i yg makin takot...iyelah manalah kita tau kalau pasangan kita paling sesuai atau tidak...arrrrrgh
...walau apapun wang hantaran Jun tetap best...hehe  |
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Originally posted by Gadis_Venus at 18-12-2005 02:25 PM
Ish3..perlu ke hantaran sebyk tu...??
Ntah ye, pada Diana hantaran itu tidak sepatutnya membebankan pihak lelaki. Jika lelaki tersebut berkemampuan then boleh beri macam suami Jun tu :kerek:.. Yang penting ikhlas. Tapi kan selalunya kita aje dengar artis2 ini dapat hantaran besar2 sebenarnya orang2 biasa pun ada  cuma tak dipublish dalam suratkhabar ... |
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Originally posted by DianaA at 18-12-2005 02:45 PM
Ntah ye, pada Diana hantaran itu tidak sepatutnya membebankan pihak lelaki. Jika lelaki tersebut berkemampuan then boleh beri macam suami Jun tu :kerek:.. Yang penting ikhlas. Tapi kan selalun ...
betul tu...kekadang dgr ada org mintak sekali 20K..tapi org biasa2..Baguslah, jika dia berkemampuan..Yg tak syioknya kalau yg tak mampu tapi dasyat hantarannya.My sedare ada satu ni, masa tu husband dia baru nak abis NS(masih NS lah maknanye) tapi the girl punya mak mintak hantarannya spuloh ribu serba satu..Yg klakarnya, semasa discussion utk hari nikah dll,pihak lelaki dah agree nak kasi this amount lah(bukan spuloh ribu). Skali tu,mak pengantin pompan ni gi interrupt and said, "Mintak maaf kalau saya mencelah tapi R(pengantinl lelaki) dah agree dgn anak saya untuk beri spuloh ribu seba satu.." Of course lah pihak lelaki dah pikir lain, mesti diaorang dahpun pandang negatif kat pihak pompan. I pity the guy side..Pompuan side pulak yg dpt malu..Tapi dgrnya mak pengantin pompuan masih kata apa yg dibuatnya tu tidak salah. Hmm...Wallahua'lam..
[ Last edited by skgerl at 18-12-2005 03:16 PM ] |
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Originally posted by skgerl at 18-12-2005 03:13 PM
betul tu...kekadang dgr ada org mintak sekali 20K..tapi org biasa2..Baguslah, jika dia berkemampuan..Yg tak syioknya kalau yg tak mampu tapi dasyat hantarannya.My sedare ada satu ni, masa tu ...
skygerl, dalam hal ini kan kadang2 kita pihak perempuan macam rasa malu gak bila tetiba apa yang telah disetuju dinaikkan lagi serba satu adehhhh :kant:... tapi sebaiknya ia tidak membebankan pihak lelaki...
Diana dulu ada gak dengar ustaz ini beri ceramah pasal hantaran etc. Kata ustaz tersebut lelaki mesti pandai budget. Misalnya ikatan pertunangan 2 tahun. Jadi gaji setiap bulan tolak 500 untuk duit hantaran, insyallah dalam masa 24 bulan dah boleh kumpul 12K. Tapi so far yang Diana tengok market sekarang, $7K and above. Sebab cousin yang bakal bertunang akhir bulan ini pihak perempuan dah minta S$7,777.77.. tengok angka pun dah macam artis siap 77 sen |
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Category: Negeri & Negara
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Author
Post time 14-12-2005 12:39 PM
