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If so,
I hope it will end soon.
I bukak this thread bukan nak fefeeling acah depressed.
In fact, i takde claim I depressed ke apa pon. I takde stated my problems pon sebenarnya.
I just stating the facts of my current situations + feeling.
And I just wonder if is all these symptoms semua org rasa ke normal ke. If normal syukur lah, maknanya sama je. Maknanya I have to fight and go on with life je la kan.
Tapi tu lah, I need to do something. X boleh mcm ni forever or else.. Entah apa nak jd kalau I keep mcm ni
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sis your parents tak risau ke tengok u tak kerja, tak buat apa2 just melepak n sedih sorang2 dalam rumah macam ni.. diorang tak bebel atau cakap apa2 ke..
im a sad person too tapi kena keluar bekerja juga 
one of the reason i belum quit job sebab taknak mak ai sedih sebab dia penah cakap dah hantar anak belajar tinggi2 lepas tu tak kerja mmg sedih
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Ada pikir.
Then mcm no. Xde semangat.
Dulu I masa nak quit job, nak start business one of niat is nak tolong org, nak cari some find to do charity, volunteer etc.
Skrg I dah lupa why even I need to breath. Nak makan pon I lantakkan je, telur goreng pon telur. Esok muak makan telur I makan la benda lain.
I mean I xde rasa nak suicide ke apa.
It just.. I feel lost. No direction.
Tapi yes.. I have to paksa diri.
Maybe I ni je terlalu ikutkan hati
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Kan dah cakap depan parents I act like nothing.
Maybe dorg notice tp bg dorg it just my prangai buruk nak lepak dlm bilik.
Masa I nak quit keje, my mom just suruh pikir masak2. Tp sbb ada saving plus masa tu I semangat dgn business I. Mcm2 la plan nya. So bg dorg mcm okayla buat la apa pun yg penting pandai2 la jaga diri kau sendiri.
Yes I stay dgn parents basically menumpang la kan. Tp.. Skrg ni pon bab makan ke apa I still boleh guna duit I yg x seberapa ni utk beli utk my food.
Pernah I ckp kat mak I. Kenapa rasa bla bla bla.. Dah kena cop takde wawasan pon dgn mak I.
I dgr kan je la mls nak komen apa or even fight for myself..
Faham tak I dah mls pikir pasal apa nak jd dgn diri I (In fact sebenarnya dah penat fikir and torture diri kau nak apa sebenarnya)
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Betul..
Dalam I rasa celaru mcm ni pun. I sometimes aware this is not good.
So before I dah tak sedar what's happening to me, I try nak usha jugak is this normal or tak.
Tp mmg perangai I jenis lantakkan semua skrg ni.
Tp tak mau lah sia2 kan masa sebenarnya, I tak mau rasa apa yg I rasa skrg ni
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Bahaya tu sampai jadi aggressive baling2 kerusi
Tu dah jd physical abuse je tu
I xde sampai mcm tu.
Tp I mmg nak avoid people sbb nak elak dr pikir marah/serabut.
Betul. I drive pon I rasa kosong. Cam xde beza pon dgn duk rumah. Tu yg buat I keep avoiding people and keluar. Sebab dah xleh beza the feeling kalau I keluar jumpa org or kat rumah. Sama je. No point. Semua benda pointless.
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Pernah gak pikir camtu.
I even sembang dgn kawan I sorg ni.
Cari baby la satu, then kawan I ckp "Jangan pedajal anak org. Bukan kesian kau, kesian budak tu nanti nak kena hadap mak angkat celaru"
Betul gak tu. I pikir I sendiri pun I serabut, cuba byg I dah kawin anak 3 tetibe duk feeling camnih. 
Kesian dorg nak deal dgn mak cmni
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Kan..
There's no harm.
Maybe dorg know better apa sebenarnya tak kena
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anyclassything replied at 9-4-2018 01:45 PM
Bahaya tu sampai jadi aggressive baling2 kerusi
Tu dah jd physical abuse je tu
I think people can keep us going.try la to mingle semula |
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lwyl replied at 9-4-2018 11:27 AM
Your solution is to get married. It's time.
N invite us.yeah |
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how is marriage going to save me sebenarnya
kawan I yg tak sampai kawin setahun pon keep cari I advice takyah kawin awal, appreciate single life bla bla bla
ha camne tu
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Kalau preggy acceptable.
I ni apa yg x kena ntah.
Semua benda tak kena, ada business pon buat xtahu.
salah satu contoh k,
Ni ibarat business tu baby I, sepatutnya I kena jaga dia and shower him with love supaya dia grow kan. Sebaliknya I xkisah lgsung pasal dia.
I biar je dia mcm tu. Lapar ke mati ke. Nangis ke.
Haa camtu la I skrg
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adheq replied at 9-4-2018 11:44 AM
Hikikomori ni mcm ko la. Hilang semangat nak hidup n just nak duk dalam gua jua tapi dalam masa yg ...
Sambung la.
I think TT mcm my youngest sister.kerja jap berenti. Tanye nape berenti 'argh bosan' n seribu satu alasan. Kami x desak dia kerja sbb nobody depended on her. In fact dia br balik dr Korea. Mengelinjat kt Korea 8 hari.
So kami biar jelah dia x kerja.suka hati kau la noks.best gak ade sorang x kerja, senang nk ajak ke sn ke mari.heheheeh |
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anyclassything replied at 9-4-2018 10:40 AM
Thank you cardi.
Akan ku coba tips2 tu
Klu tt fkr yg org lain x peduli, Yg Maha Esa tu ada. DIA ambil berat, doa la byk2. Pergi la jumpa psychiatrist, minta bantuan. X perlu malu atau deny. I've been there but ms tu sy dah 'lupa' sampai benda simple pun sy dah x bole jwb. |
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Hahaha
I pun suka escape by watching movies yg boleh bg good lesson, self reflection.
Okay malam ni I try tgk this movie.
Banyak gak movie yg I tgk pastu kesedaran timbul masa tu je la.
Esok I dah lupa balik and hanyut dalam my zero world.
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anyclassything replied at 9-4-2018 01:26 PM
Ha ah, no current goals.
I dunno what should I do next.
Sy ni employer, i pay people to work for me. Bila baca org kutuk2 bos, i terfikir, x pernah sekali ke korang tgk blk diri sdri, n amanah ke aku dgn kerja ku? X de bos yg sane nk hamba abdikan staf.
Bile kite kerja, kerja la dgn sungguh-sungguh. I always tell my staf, ade yg x puas hati, tell me.kalau segan, wasap.
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Hikikomori ke depresi ke apa ke I pon xtahu la noks
aku harap sgt sebenarnya aku ni sebenarnya normal. just mengada2 and fefeeling acah je
Xmau la stuck in this feeling forever..
In fact it's killing
Benda yg patut normal n mudah pada org ramai, jd susah utk I.
Org lain boleh buat, I takleh.
Bab self torture ni xyah ckp la.. I dah sampai tahap benci diri dah kenapa I mcm ni
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Big boss sebenarnya ok kak
yg menyakitkan hati, staff yg xsedar diri dia tu kuli jua
tu sebenarnya issue penting dalam workplace.
Kuli yg acah mcm boss. sedangkan dia pon kuli makan gaji sahaja.
My ex boss, kalau yg big boss tu very good. Dia siap ckp kat I dia xkisah I buat silap yg penting attitude jenis keep cuba buat by myself.
Yg I stress pasal manager gila itu.
Malangnya.. Big boss yg baik itu bukan di ofis everday, 2 weeks gi oversea 2 weeks gi situ sini.
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Bab semangat kobar2 nak masuk alam keje n nak cari duit I rasa masa umo I 24 camtu
Time tu xdelah nak cakap I xde problem tp I tahankan diri n hadap je
skrg ni I dah jd xtahan
even benda kecik dah ticked me off
dulu apa2 pon hadap je
I miss the old me.
Where are you my old self yg jenis hadap je semua benda
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Betul..
Tu I try nak buat skrg.
Masalahnya dah biarkan masa berlalu sgt skrg ni sampai I xkisah apa nak jd dah 
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Category: Cinta & Perhubungan
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Author
Post time 9-4-2018 01:30 PM
