...LETS JOKE TO TICKLE THE MIND...

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The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.

“The bad news is, your blood 
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”

“What’s the good news?”

“Your cholesterol is 130.”

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Guilty of Annoyance

A defendant isn’t happy with 
how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for 
a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

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Prime (Minister) Directive

A welsh politician asked the government for information about UFO sightings and if it might fund UFO research. Officials wrote back, “jang vIDa je due luq … ach ghotvam’e’ QI’yaH devolve qaS.” Which means, “The minister will reply in due course. However, this is a non-devolved 
matter,” in Klingon.

Source: bbc.com

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A Tough Question, by Jon Stewart

If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

Jon Stewart

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Notable Never-isms

• Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time. —Norman Ford

• Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. —Shirley Maclaine

• Never board 
a commercial 
aircraft if the 
pilot is wearing 
a tank top. —Dave Barry

• Never be in a 
hurry to terminate a marriage. You 
may need this person to finish a sentence. —Erma Bombeck

• Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information. —Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding

• Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level; it’s cheaper. —Quentin 
Crisp

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>>>>>>>>>

seribulan

These words are so joining our vocabulary!

Chairdrobe (n.): piling clothes on 
a chair in place of a closet or dresser.

Epiphanot (n.): an idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect.

Internest (n.): the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself while spending long periods of time on the Internet.

Textpectation (n.): the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to 
a text.

Unkeyboardinated (adj.): when you’re unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes

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A Real Gut-Buster

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha--! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

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