Emotional Maturity

my-alja

sesapa yg mahir/paham dgn tajuk nie....boleh kongsi

apa faktor yg menambahkan kematangan sesorang?...adakah ianya melalui learning process sebagaimana pelajaran2 yg lain....

adakah ianya semulajadi timbul, selari dgn usia kita ....

pssttt, hubby suka tanya soalan...are you growing up or growing old?

pesona1

getting matured..... growing matured..

my-alja

The Mature PersonalityStarks defines psychological maturity as "being able to accept the reality of people and things as they are, without needing them to be other than that." No less an authority than Ann Landers views maturity in a similar way in a paraphrase of a Native American adage: "The art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Along with this realistic attitude toward life, mature people also possess these healthy character traits:

• Ability to know what you want and the capacity to make it happen
• Self-control and thinking before you act
• Self-reliance and the ability to take responsibility for your life and actions
• Patience
• The ability to sustain intimate relationships and establish positive connections with others
• Generosity and the desire to give and be there for others
• Integrity
• A sense of balance and equanimity in dealing with stress
• Perseverance
• Decisiveness
• Humility and the ability to admit when you're wrong

Maturity Begins at HomeIf many of us fall short of these noble attributes, it is because we grew up in less than ideal circumstances. No one is born mature; our emotional development is shaped by our parents and life experiences. Mature parents who recognize, validate and love their child for who he or she is and are fulfilled in their own lives rear mature children. "I think parents who have been able to find and realize their own dreams are the best parents of all, as long as their dream includes understanding and loving their own children," says Stark.
A child who successfully struggles with failures, disappointments and heartaches will develop greater maturity than one who is pampered and indulged. Throughout childhood, there are development tasks to be mastered, like making friends and developing autonomy. By completing most tasks without undue stress, conflict or difficulty, a child can develop into a mature adult.
A high IQ (intelligence quotient), good looks and robust health, while attractive innate qualities, don't contribute to emotional maturity. There are many people born with fewer advantages who develop into mature, well-adjusted adults. Emotional maturity is, however, closely related to the popular concept of emotional intelligence, in which people are adept at handling their own and others' feelings.

pesona1

[size=+1]Emotional Maturity was defined as the mature person has developedattitudes in relation to himself and his environment which have liftedhim above "childishness" in thought and behavior.

[size=+1]Some of the characteristics ofthe person who has achieved true adulthood are suggested here:
1. Can accepts criticismgratefully, being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve.
2. He/she does not indulgein self-pity.  He/she has begun to feel the laws of compensation operatingin all life.
3. Does not expectspecial consideration from anyone. Nih yang susah ni..rasa malas je nak matured..
4. He controls histemper.
5. He meets emergencieswith poise.
6. His feelings arenot easily hurt.
7. He accepts theresponsibility of his own actions without trying to "alibi."
8. He has outgrownthe "all or nothing" stage.  He recognizes that no person or situationis wholly good or wholly bad, and he begins to appreciate the Golden Mean.
9. He is not impatientat reasonable delays.  He has learned that he is not the arbiter ofthe universe and that he must often adjust himself to other people andtheir convenience.
10. He is a goodloser.  He can endure defeat and disappointment without whining orcomplaining.
11. He does not worryabout things he cannot help.
12. He is not givento boasting or "showing off" in socially unacceptable ways.
13. He is honestlyglad when others enjoy success or good fortune.  He has outgrown envyand jealousy.
14. He is open-mindedenough to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of others.
15. He is not a chronic"fault-finder."
16. He plans thingsin advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment.

my-alja

He does not worry about things he cannot help

yuuucckkkkksss.....i selalu kena tegur pasal nie ...it's none of ur business

pesona1

biasanya bukan senang nak matured ni... ada budak umur 40an pun tak tentu matured lagi. masih rasa nak flirting macam budak remaja yang tengah 'gatal'..

pada pandangan sy, EM ini berbeza untuk semua orang mengikut demografi dan faktor-faktor lainnya. demografi maksud saya termasuk gender, age, income, background dll...

"remaja yang lahir dalam keluarga susah lebih cepat matang berbanding remaja dari keluarga mewah.." statement ini pada sy mungkin ada benarnya kerana pengalaman yang dilalui banyak mengajar manusia menjadi lebih dewasa dan matang. apa pun, kalau ada sesiapa nak buktikan statement tu betul atau salah..boleh la buat phd tentangnya...

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by pesona1 at 28-12-2007 12:44 PM


biasanya bukan senang nak matured ni... ada budak umur 40an pun tak tentu matured lagi. masih rasa nak flirting macam budak remaja yang tengah 'gatal'..

pada pandangan sy, EM i ...

tengah gatal yer?

u tell me then apa kes nabi nikah anak dara sunti aisha binti abu bakar tuh

atau apa kes mak janda twice janda plak tu cam khadijah umur 40 kawin dengan nabi peria muda umur 25.

ha cite skit.

ajinomotonosuga

saya tak pakai istilah matured, grow old seme tu

saya pakai istilah balanced..neutralise

tiada apa pun tidak bergerak..so anything is always 'in movement', in term of kene jadi or ciptaan lah yer

so in movement there must be a goal. say without intervention oleh apa pun..this movement is 'free'

katakan ada incursion..a force say applied so movement ni mereng ke kiri..so what is need now another force to move it back in its original path so we called that force opposing force

so dua force ni berperangan, kita sebut chaos , those two forces say..left and right and movement is always in THE MIDDLE path

now, where is the 'MATURE' point? who know and much importantly  WHO CARES?

yang penting i got to know all those forces intruding, kacau movement ini yang berada di tengah ni. so i need to know HOW TO BALANCE the forces, kalo slo lajukan, kalo laju perlahan kan, kalo sejuk..panaskan, kalo panas, dingin kan  etc.

balancing the act, the words, the forces so the movement is always 'free' and in that position there would be all the truth

so it is not about growing mature, growing up, growing old..it is simply think and grow. (napoleone hill)

biarkan movement in sublime or subsconcious mind. peranan conscious mind ialah pada forces left and right tuh. to keep things in BALANCE..that is to grow. reach apa pun la..u name it mature okkk so mature lah..u name it success? okkk..success..ada name it as bakti, jasa, umur pencen, retirement..these all ciptaan manusia jek..full of weakness.
Beyond nature.......nature.......beings.

Agul

Guess you guys are very lucky...

The credits system goes haywire today...

so, enjoy...

pesona1

Originally posted by ajinomotonosuga at 28-12-2007 03:05 PM




tengah gatal yer?

u tell me then apa kes nabi nikah anak dara sunti aisha binti abu bakar tuh

atau apa kes mak janda twice janda plak tu cam khadijah umur 40 kawin dengan ...

:bg: pak aji... statement tu tak merujuk kepada sesiapa pun. tapi kalau ada yang terasa tandanya memang terkena atas batang idung sendiri la, nasib la..

erm..nak samakan akhlak janda zaman sekarang dengan khadijah (isteri nabi..) tersangat la jauhnya. so, saya tak nak ulas yang itu. dan tidak juga semestinya janda..mak2 orang yang dah berusia pun ada jugak yang mengalahkan perangai remaja. isteri org, suami org dll yang dah berusia tapi masih belum mampu berfikir matang lagiiiiii ramai...:geram:

Mansairaku

Originally posted by my-alja at 28-12-2007 09:48 AM

• Ability to know what you want and the capacity to make it happen
• Self-control and thinking before you act
• Self-reliance and the ability to take responsibility for your life and actions
• Patience
• The ability to sustain intimate relationships and establish positive connections with others
• Generosity and the desire to give and be there for others
• Integrity
• A sense of balance and equanimity in dealing with stress
• Perseverance
• Decisiveness
• Humility and the ability to admit when you're wrong

mansairaku:
yang merah tu - gagal
yang hijau tu - questionable

Mansairaku

Originally posted by pesona1 at 28-12-2007 10:03 AM
1. Can accepts criticism gratefully, being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve.
2. He/she does not indulge in self-pity.  He/she has begun to feel the laws of compensation operating in all life.
3. Does not expect special consideration from anyone.
4. He controls his temper.
5. He meets emergencies with poise.
6. His feelings are not easily hurt.
7. He accepts the responsibility of his own actions without trying to "alibi."
8. He has outgrown the "all or nothing" stage.  He recognizes that no person or situation is wholly good or wholly bad, and he begins to appreciate the Golden Mean.
9. He is not impatient at reasonable delays.  He has learned that he is not the arbiter of the universe and that he must often adjust himself to other people and their convenience.
10. He is a good loser.  He can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining.
11. He does not worry about things he cannot help.
12. He is not given to boasting or "showing off" in socially unacceptable ways.
13. He is honestly glad when others enjoy success or good fortune.  He has outgrown envy and jealousy.
14. He is open-minded enough to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of others.
15. He is not a chronic"fault-finder."
16. He plans things in advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment.

mansairaku:
yang merah tu - gagal
yang hijau tu - questionable

my-alja

Mai....part control temper nie, i tahu sorang aje dlm dunia nie yg berjaya...esp when he deals with me

my hubby

my-alja

Originally posted by pesona1 at 31-12-2007 09:07 PM


:bg: pak aji... statement tu tak merujuk kepada sesiapa pun. tapi kalau ada yang terasa tandanya memang terkena atas batang idung sendiri la, nasib la..

erm..nak samakan akhlak janda  ...

heheheh...pak aji terasa kot ...sebab dia dah 40

tapi i pernah rasa the moment pak aji ...lost control of himself

my-alja

mature point...nie sendirilah boleh jawab kot pak aji, tak guna gak kalo kita rasa org tu immatute tapi dia rasa dia MAHA mature ...

antara point yg bagus adalah drp feedback org2 keliling kita...dan utk self-assessment...kena tgk pd check list, agak2 sendiri...kita nie cemana....

isu2 camni kena ada self-validity....bila org tegur kita tak matang, pasti defensive punya ....jadi utk sendiri2 muhassabah

i rasa subjek muhassabah diri nie kena jadikan satu subjek kat sekolah2 lahh....ramai sgt org tua masih miss subjek nie

my-alja

Self-control and thinking before you act


i selalu gak gagal yg nie...tapi seriously, rasanya cam tak best kalo bykkk sgt fikir...sebab byk benda terbantut

my-alja

kalo ikutkan aji....adakah semua org akan jadi matang sebab ada "movement" tu

kenapa ramai sgt kita jumpa org2 tua yg masih tak matang?...lari dr tanggungajawab, suka salahkan org...

apa yg perlu dididik kalo pd anak2....bagilah idea2 yg praktikal, taknak yg abstract...ok

pesona1

Here are the points about what key qualities of maturity are:

   1. Self-control: accept and control passions, emotions, desires, wishes, curiosity, freedom from being impulsive; choose to do what is right
   2. Wisdom: understanding; insight; learn from experience; make appropriate decisions; handle stressful problems
   3. Responsibility: accepting personal accountability for one's own actions; finances; conscientious work habits; integrity; reliability
   4. Independence: make decisions and observe consequences - to make better decisions


Emotional Maturity helps people to:

    * improve personal responsibility
    * increase self-control - ni pun ramai yang susah nak buat..
    * settle conflicts peacefully - ni lagi la susah. pemimpin dunia pun ramai tak mampu.. sebab tu asyik perang je..
    * delay gratification of long-term goals
    * persevere, complete projects
    * resolve problems without complaints - korang camana??
    * make decisions and keep them
    * be dependable and resourceful

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by pesona1 at 31-12-2007 09:07 PM


:bg: pak aji... statement tu tak merujuk kepada sesiapa pun. tapi kalau ada yang terasa tandanya memang terkena atas batang idung sendiri la, nasib la..

erm..nak samakan akhlak janda  ...

itu tersiratnya.. adakah acik2 tua yang masih pakai pakaian remaja terkiini or join anak dare dia dan geng nya tu 'gatal' or tak mature?

so typical.. lelaki gatal lebih ramai?  u dah consider ke lelaki kalo dia fertile tu boleh sampai umur dia mati manakala pompuan ada limit nya dalam soal nak hamil?

there isnt any particular way to gauge maturity seseorang, sebab itu Shakespeare kata Life Is A Play, dunia ni pentas lakunan

the 'child' in any human being is forever. so macam mana saya nak definitely kata he or she is a matured person?

nabi pun main anak patung dengan bini dia Aisha yang gadis sunti..kalo ada oang nampak dia kata ...apa lah Muhammad tu macam budak2, tak mature btui..u think nabi will get mad?

Khadijah kawin pemuda.......saya ada jiran , acik n dah 42 but suami dia muda dalam around 20 plus. Bukan takdak mulut2 mengossip..but depa pedulik apa..btui dak? Agak nya sapa yang tak mature minda, yang nikah oang muda tu ka atau yang mengumpat tuh?

itu point saya reply post awak tanya persoalan GATAL......it seemed to me that ur mind is still immature.

ajinomotonosuga

Originally posted by my-alja at 1-1-2008 08:21 AM



heheheh...pak aji terasa kot ...sebab dia dah 40

tapi i pernah rasa the moment pak aji ...lost control of himself

saya da 40 plus....anyone gettin older  , the physical parts are getting slower so untuk terasa tu kira meleset ler tekaan tuh

as one getting older, the mind is SUPPOSED full of knowledge(conscious) so the subcon. part or sentiment always in check.

losing oneself  can be manufactured thru  many altered state of mind..i.e. using drugs, alcohol of which we said the negative stimulant OR  feeling love, which is the positive stimulant

losing control meant to giva all commands to SUBCONSCIOUS MIND..doing 'life' unconsciously, ada oang sebut buat dengang 'ada feel' , ada sebut 'animated'

tapi tak ramai buleh 'losing oneself' consciously..dia buat keje tu mati2, sungguh2, ada feel, semangat sekali tapi dalam pada itu dia masih dalam sedar.

for the record, ....seingat saya, i never lost control, especially l IN CRITICAL MOMENT