To start a family?

SONofODIN

Is it necessary to start a family? Most couple got married because of love and also to start a family for future generation to ensure human species don't face extinction or more correctly I would say to continue their bloodline. There are many too who do not want or do not like to have a family.
Some couples got married for companionship, some live in for companionship. Some were forced to start a family because of an accident happened after happy hours.

In the modern society, many would like to remain single for the fear of having commitment. They perfer to have freedom, no family stress and responsibility.

What is your opinion?

sinalegna

not necessarily to start a new one... here's an option, adopt one...

sisqeen

Originally posted by sinalegna at 29-2-2008 05:53 PM
not necessarily to start a new one... here's an option, adopt one...

if who can have ur own ..why have to adopt???

sinalegna

tak perlu membazir...some people cuma pandai start a family (kahwin & beranak). tapi nak took care of it they're just hopeless...!:re:

would you imagine, everybody in this world reproducing and then crowd the whole planet with their only species?! that's just so hypocrite...!:kant:

mana nak letak all the other living things? they need their space too... manusia ni memang berakal & kalau hidup mesti perlukan space, tapi bila dah berakal tapi tak pandai nak bertolak ansur & hidup berharmoni dengan makhluk lain, malah menyusahkan & memusnahkan lagi.... mereka akan terima padahnya, Tuhan akan menentukan, alam akan menjalankan peranannya...

pada masa tu lah, akan wujud malapetaka, wabak penyakit, bencana alam & perubahan cuaca atau bentuk muka bumi and so on....:time:

mbhcsf

wow, i would want to have few  progenies but aah later.I think for whatever God has given us = th earth and its finite and infinite resources we human will think of something to accomodate ,  iam sure we will , for huma are capable of learning, adapting and manipulating the nature.

But you know if we are in  fear on overpopulating the planets then, how come the insecta kingdoms ( READ : insects bugs ) would still  be maintained at bay and in harmony with current ( at present) population.'

my-alja

to start a family?...i think u should ask ur spouse not us

SONofODIN

Originally posted by sinalegna at 29-2-2008 05:53 PM
not necessarily to start a new one... here's an option, adopt one...

Adoption is also considered starting a family without having to go thru the natural process.
That is a short cut.

mbhcsf

what 's urs?

hamizao

Call it the food chain also which corrects the balance in the animal kingdom. As for human, history has shown us nature's way to check the human population and there have also been man made methods, usually indirect. I also hear of a master plan for control of world population but some say it is just a Conspiracy Theory.

SONofODIN

I follow the long cut, the traditional way.

mbhcsf

Originally posted by hamizao at 2-3-2008 08:45 PM
Call it the food chain also which corrects the balance in the animal kingdom. As for human, history has shown us nature's way to check the human population and there have also been man made metho ...

oh it's time to call Agent Mulder and Scully  now...Love Mulder, bright chap from Princeton.
anyway , putting Mulder aside, yeah i've heard that too..the Conspiracy theories and what not, the method is via OCP ( i guess u know this short forms) or some even said it is trru vaccination, but then well , John Fitzgerald Kenneddy was shot anyway, nobody know for sure , right?I think Lee Harvey Oswald was just the scapegoat.. and I found National TReasure was so fascinating.

Yeah, the constant check and balance that Nature? ( sunnatullah) that bestowed upon us will somehow give  me the reassurance that , well the fear / thought of overpopulating the planet is just rather "too extreme" .

but there will be limiting factor that we ( not u kot hami) to consider as well like the cost of education, health care etc in the near future that would somehow shapen  the family size...

mbhcsf

Originally posted by SONofODIN at 2-3-2008 09:01 PM
I follow the long cut, the traditional way.

my asking u the question is to know what or how  will ur thinking about this topic will affect the way you think on family issues? tu jer ..

hamizao

Marriage as I know it is simply the formalization of a relationship....that he is her man and she is his woman. What governs that relationship depends a lot on the community's codes of behaviour. Imagine if it was a free for all ....! Deep down man has always needed companionship which ultimately becomes a vehicle for that basic human instinct to procreate. Do note that it is also a basic function of all living things. So, I am of the opinion that if someone does not have that instinct....it is rather abnormal. Sorry, ya, I do not mean to  kenakan anyone but just as a matter of discussion.

Lack or absence of such an instinct may be caused by many factors and I am sure mbhcsf would also be able to suggest the biological or psychological terms applicable.   Having said that, I do agree parenthood is not like what it used to be. The farmer caste those days would want to have as many children who would help out in the fields. The Satriyas would want many sons to follow in their footsteps and so on................... In some communities, sons are so important to carry on the family name. These days of automation and what nots, people prefer quality to quantity. Hence the many consideration.............

Whatever the case may be, I see children as God's gift....so it is up to us to mould and enjoy them. With all the considerations we sometimes make, it is important for the couple to be prepared at least mentally. Sometimes life is strange.....the more we think or contemplate about something the more nos become the answer. So what if we can never be perfect. But if we fill our thoughts with positive things, they usually turn up OK.

mbhcsf

the thing with fearing the word kahiwn is not caused by the word and its realted issues ..it is basically more to the fear/ shocked / surprise / terkejut / it is the thrill of seeing the person who actually daring enough to ask when you're my God never expect that he is the ONE..


[ Last edited by  mbhcsf at 3-3-2008 07:53 PM ]

mbhcsf

and of course knowing that nikah is not a chil;d's play or a laughing matter , that too is also a fear jugak.

leogal_1428

From my point fo view: I'm in a relationship for nearly 7 years with my bf. Many other couples would have decided to get married by this time but we know that just because we are together for long time, its not a reason to settle down. We have our parents and siblings to think about. Being eldest we must make sure at least our siblings are working already so that they can continue to support the family. We cant be selfish, besides before even starting your own family, you need to make sure you have a place to stay, financially ready and also emotionally. Nowdays many couples get married just for the lust of it, some due to family pressure and some just because the age is catching up. These are not reasons to get married.....marry because you are ready, because you have found the right one and because you want to.

wei_loon5063

Originally posted by SONofODIN at 2-3-2008 09:01 PM
I follow the long cut, the traditional way.

me WILL too

Agul

These term?

Gamophobia - The fear of being married or marriage

Anuptophobia - The fear of being alone or marrying the wrong person in life

Well, you can have both at the same time.

sisqeen

some peoples want to get married and start his/her own family because the sake of other people done that and keep asking...when u going to settle down???

Why we have to let others/situation to decide our future and commitment???

hamizao

Heheheh.....interesting that gam-phobia and anu-phobia stuff!

My x dulu BF for years and years. In the end we parted ways. Then Mr x came just knew him for a few months dah confirm. The ONLY thing that bound us really was we share the same interest in reading. His friends told us that we are poles apart otherwise. What I am trying to say is that sometimes it is not possible to complete all the equation....it would probably take you till the end of time. I suppose marriage may still be built on a singular common ground and develop it through complementing one another.

Children would come naturally unless you have a condition....Agul...need your help here again! But you should try planning the number and spacing unless you have a string of nannys on hand. These days a serious concern would be getting all your children through school  at least by the time you retire. So you may want to get the sums right here.