hmm.. i am of the opinion that .....is quite different
but u know i truly believe that as a human irrespective whether u are a man or a lady, there's always room for learning , a life - long learning or the interest the desire to wanting to learn and develop to be a u know at least a better person, so actually i am not keen on delving into those rules, coz it'll make a person to be in a state of "status quo" , u think? like an ultimatum ..so i think it sort of defies the principles of "developing human"...i think the more develop u are he more flexible u become so how does it relate to the topic , well though men aren't really good with subtle, high context language BUT as human we all HAVE the capacity to learn, GROW and develop, kan?
men need ego, to hunt and to protect his tribe, (this is on paleolitic era)
men need ego, to success and to overcome the burden of becoming the 'leader'
women need emo, to fulfill the emptiness of men
so these things never change.....
how about the theory of homeostasis
eg:
1. a couple, the man never understand woman. he just know how to love them.
2. the woman ask this man to understand her, slowly he learn, and getting good at it. the woman realize his partner is so understanding, njoy every moment
3. the man, fulfill every needs (and more importantly, desire) of the woman in every way without being asked to do so.
4. the woman, feel lucky, and as human, she ask for more....
5. the man , someday , bancrupt, fallen cant fullfill the needs of this woman. break up.
6. the man, learn from his 'mistake' try not to understand woman anymore, yet he learn to love them only....
Originally posted by hitamputih at 26-9-2008 09:24 AM
yesss
but some things stay forever
men need ego, to hunt and to protect his tribe, (this is on paleolitic era)
men need ego, to success and to overcome the burden of becoming the 'leade ...
well dear, in each and every single experience he is falling in love be that may in a relationship or stays within a bondage, then i would say he is learning to become good at it ( to loving ) for each and every time, there is always a new thing to learn...shaking up your PIAGET schema ( ni kena cari theory of conitive learning ni )
so be it, some things may stay forever , truly indeed , but the learning process could still be taking place...
so back to homeostasis, u know.. the body acknowledge certain changes, it detects, finding out and re- corrected the changes and voila you 'll reach the state of equilibrium...kan? so does the mind...ur mind will learn the new things in relationship , reorganizing the schema ( mental / cognitive thingy ) and presto ..you GOT it..( you learn lah )
wow bankruptcy in love ..cayalah i believe the other way around..the more "bankrupt" you are the more you gain ...in terms of human affection etc etc ...
chill donkeylady... hidup single snanye lebiy best dr kapel... kalau umo mude lg lepak je single... lagi bes, byk aktiviti bleh wat dgn kawan2....
terime je break up ni.. sbb hubungan kapel x menjamin sesuatu yg positif pon untuk relationship ko... ko jgn la anggap die break up ni maknenye die x syg dah kat ko... mcm aku break up br ni pon, snanye aku syg lg kat gf aku...
ko call la die, jumpe ke... diskus... tny die sebab ape die nk break up... ape perasaan die kat ko sebenanye... at the same time ko tros terang ape perasaan ko dgn die... dan ko mintak maaf atas segala kekurangan ko mase berkawan dgn die... tny la ape yg die expect kat ko skang, dan ape yg die expect masa depan korang berdua...
u can, try to win his heart back
(u might win, but u might lose , again, heartbroken again, if u can stand the pain, just go girl! but tukar style, make him the one who want u....)
or
just move on, i think org cam u mesti ramai lagi yg nak..... kay!
( u akan sedih , a month or two, but meet new friends and hey, its not everyday we can have new partner! )
your male homeostatic theory is bias actually , how come you got the male to be the 'provider' or the one who
instigates the whole thing , without recognizing the female, hmmm....there 's a missing link....
Originally posted by donkeylady at 26-9-2008 09:19 PM
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! GUESS WHATT????????????
IM SO SAD..............................
HE SAID HE WANTED A BREAK UP. AND WE BROKE UP.
AND IM CRUSHED AGAIN.
HE SAID, HE WANNA BREAK UP BUT HE S ...
dear, i could imagine that must be hurting for you but you know what, you ' ll will soon learn that this kind of guy, is not compatible to meet up ur needs, wants and expectations so let him go.....one day you shall meet someone in a galaxy far far away that's going to say...YOU COMPLETE ME. ahaks
okay here's a song for you ...( It 's by Leanne Rimes but the music vid is containingh the elements yg u know tak appropriate kot ( i think) and this is Ramadhan , it would be best to watch it after raya lah kot - sebab i rasa bertangunjawab pulak)
no , that is not male homeostatic theory, its only homestatic theory
let say for girls lak
normal cond:
this girl doesnt believe in men
somewhere she meets a guy who truly love her
and this guy tell her that she love her.
this girl now believe when a man say he love u, it means he love u
suddenly the man betray, or something happen.
the trust is gone
this girl come back to its normal cond, never believe in men
ini like the pattern : a boy meets a gal vs a gal meets a boy , they become a lovey -dovey couple and they soon found out the love has become stale and wilt along the pathway of relationship they whatever whatever then resolve, they learn well hmmm...
but in SUSTAIN , STOUt but not a fragile kind of bonding hmmm.....the corrective feedback system would be going slightly different way i guess?
gosh i cant believe how stupid i was.
how much time i have wasted on someone who wants to be with me but will never ever marry me.
he said it before he doesnt see me as a life partner, like the 1st tim we broke up,
but then i thought i could make things better and made him realise how lovely i was and he was so wrong abt breking up with me.
and he broke up again 2nd time. and this time round its the 3rd time.
i guess its REALLY over.
i mean im just so crushed. if i boleh terima all his kekurangan and be positive abt it.. i mean like he is far beyoond perfect, but i can put all that aside and love him as what he is.
am i being stupid? i really feel like a stupid dumbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb. arghh!!!!!!!!!!
but whatever it is, i thank all of u u have given me the advise be it a cruel-n-harsh-reality-time-to-wake-up advise or the comforting kinda advise.. all of them. thanks a lot.
[ Last edited by donkeylady at 27-9-2008 11:36 AM ]
Post time 26-9-2008 12:42 AM
Author
![[tvN/Disney+ 2024] LOVE YOUR ENEMY - Ju Ji Hoon, Jung Yu Mi ~ 23 November 2024](https://uf.cari.com.my/forumx/mforum/block/59/59a0b0b089db1cda0f378e6fae637fb1.jpg)
